171–180 of 317 posts
So you didn't immediately tell him to stop and continue on with your life and fled to the internet just so you can get HN karma? Yeah I stopped reading right there. This is why "women in tech" are a problem, because they constantly put themselves on a pedestal.
You disapproved of someone's response to a situation you have never yourself experienced and stopped reading but you had to come here and post an insulting comment? Are you OK?
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I think it's absolutely disgusting that you criticize the victim for documenting what happened to her. It's despicable and downright fucking evil that you basically accuse her of sharing her story solely because she wants attention. The worst part of your god-awful post is that it's currently pinned to the top of this board. The fact that your disgusting, insensitive post is at the top is why women don't work in tech…
Everyone needs to feel like they belong somewhere. They need a cause. Your cause is hatred of white men and you find solace with others of the same persuasion. But you're still wrong, and the angry ranting is just ignored by people, even if they agree with some of your points. FYI.
You are part of the reason tech is a shitty place to work.
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As a woman, what I hate is when I'm trying to be nice and proper and educational about telling people to back off and they use that as a springboard to go all "who, me?" or maybe "oh, okay" and then assume I'm a frigid bitch anyway instead of recognizing that they're the ones making a big mistake. So nowadays I am of the shove the offending body part off and "get your hands off me" mindset because it doesn't really m…
assume I'm a frigid bitch anyway instead of recognizing that they're the ones making a big mistake I know I already replied to you, but I had one more thought- your frustration is not with assholes & sexual assaulters, your frustration here is really with humans in general :) This is a classic, classic human trait that shows up in just about every type interaction.
There are good people for sure here, I'm getting married to one in two months. The rotten apples are just more vocal and this is a community I'm trying to care about improving.
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I find basically none of your assumptions to be accurate, or more importantly, I don't understand how it is useful to assert as a broad generalization. Certainly here in this thread. It's just frustrating, I'm clearly outspoken against groping and misogyny, but then I get lazily lumped in with them because I also am a fledgling bitcoin fan? Stereotypes are just a good way to reduce a conversation to a nearly useless…
Why on earth are you taking this personally? All I'm saying is that I hold the community of tech professionals to a different standard than I do every random person running cgminer, and that "tech" shouldn't be judged by the actions of those people, which makes about as much sense as judging the community of professional artists by the actions of random anime fans. >In this case, it's a distraction. The problem is th…
>I claimed that this is far worse than normal behavior that is probably isolated to the "community" of cryptocurrency speculators. [...] You can disagree if you'd like, but I'm not "distracting" or "derailing" the conversation, I'm just... having a conversation?
Fair enough, I think you're right and that we simply disagree on that fundamental pivot point.
Still though, what is the point of making this distinction? Like, I don't think anyone ever /was/ asserting that running cgminer or holding some doges makes you "as legit" or "in the same vein as" someone who works in SV or works for Microsoft or something.
I guess if you think it's specific to cryptocommunities then you would advocate for crypto-currency-specific gender training/education materials maybe?
This sounds absolutely horrible, but it raises a questions. I'm a guy, and I tend to be quite aware of things happening around me. If I were to notice things unfold as described in this post... Assuming I'm not in charge: is it preferable that I somehow try to play a role in this, or would this only make everything more complicated/awkward. Should I stay back and just be pissed off? What would be the best way to appr…
Hey , I heard somebody say you like ! I'm a huge fan too!
If he's resistant to your interruption, be more forceful in trying to engage him. Maybe sit down next to him. Worst-case he becomes aggressive towards you, but so long as you stay bright & friendly, everyone else will see him picking the fight. That way you can try to defuse the situation indirectly. Maybe you get him engaged in conversation, or maybe the girl seizes the moment to excuse herself. Maybe you offer to the girl, Some other girls were looking for their friend, they said she had a blue shirt, was that you?
If he seems reasonable yet misguided (rather than a total asshole who knows the girl wants nothing to do with him), you can optionally try leading him away and quietly saying something like, I noticed that girl was starting to feel uncomfortable, tone it down/back off/try a different tactic.
Anyway, that's what I'd do if I was trying to avoid making a scene.
I think a lot of their statements are said to provoke a reaction from women in a "flirty" manner, not because these men are actually misogynistic. Their well-intentioned flirtatious remarks are being interpreted as sexist by women attending these events, likely because these men are inexperienced with women and unsure how to relate to them.
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I think it's absolutely disgusting that you criticize the victim for documenting what happened to her. It's despicable and downright fucking evil that you basically accuse her of sharing her story solely because she wants attention. The worst part of your god-awful post is that it's currently pinned to the top of this board. The fact that your disgusting, insensitive post is at the top is why women don't work in tech…
All I can think of in response to this diatribe is a line from The Big Lebowski : "You're not wrong, Walter. You're just an asshole." Seriously, dude; chill. You can communicate your (not incorrect) point so very much more effectively without ragefacing all over the person you're replying to. It gets in the way of successful communication, and probably does horrible things for your blood pressure to boot.
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> How many more posts like this are needed to convince you that the whole community of tech meetups is hostile towards women? A whole lot more, because I don't see this shit at the tech meetups I go to.
Looks like you have some reading to do. Here's a good place to start: http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Timeline_of_incidents
Where do people get off thinking they have the right to touch others, especially repeatedly, unreciprocated? So many of these tech, gender, sex issues would be pre-empted so many times if people simply respected some basic boundaries, were less presumptive and thought about their actions. I'd love to know what that groper would've done if I'd walked in, as a guy, and immediately started hitting on him and touching hi…
I think it's pretty simple; human courting is chock full of nonverbals and hints and read-between-the-lines. You take a guy who understands he's supposed to pick up on these things and be bold, but is quite bad at detecting whether interest is reciprocated, and tadah- you have this blog post. Supporting evidence that I felt greatly bolstered my theory- Not long ago I went for a kiss with a girl I barely knew. I knew…
BUT, the two were strangers, in a topic-oriented setting, and she rebuffed his first attempt. That could have, and should have been the end of the story...
Put another way: if he had hugged her, she said "We just met..." and that was the end of it, we wouldn't be having the conversation at all.
Unfortunately, as you allude, there's not really a definitive way of solving this problem unless we build a way of giving passive signals constantly. Some sort of an indicator or smart phone app "Yes, I am willing to be hit on by you and you, but not you and you". There's a weird idea...
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You disapproved of someone's response to a situation you have never yourself experienced and stopped reading but you had to come here and post an insulting comment? Are you OK?
Yeah I'm doing OK, are you?
I'm just concerned that someone in this community (you) could be so upset about this story that you're posting things that I can only interpret as deliberately inflammatory and hostile. Instead of just assuming that you're a bad person trying to stir up trouble, I was wondering if something else was bothering you.