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This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

ariannasimpson.com

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Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#151

Post by rfnslyr »

ossreality wrote: post #140
rfnslyr wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah actually I do. I have a huge problem with it. I have a huge problem with: some douchebag acted less than human towards me -> this is how it is like to be a woman in the tech industry. Next time somebody gives me an off handed remark about something, I'm going to generalize as well and cry wolf online. It's blowing up a problem that isn't a problem at all, way out of proportion. I get groped at bars all the time…

It's very amusing and ironic to me that you are completely projecting the air of "generalization". I didn't see the author anywhere saying "All bitcoin users are like this" and in fact, you'll find me chiding someone else, here, for saying that. You just want to reduce this to something that you can dismiss and ignore, because it's complicated and you can't hold your own when it comes to the details. And, in this cas…

The fact that this article even exists means she didn't do anything about it. It's not a helpless matter at all, but she's acting as if this is such a big event it warranted a whole essay on the matter. Like she just couldn't WAIT to leave the male stronghold of this meetup to seek emotional counselling online.

I am very open minded to problems that matter. There is no problem here. She ran into a super duper asshole, didn't outline her boundaries immediately, and instead is further polluting the tech industry with this gender nonsense. Next time some random grabs me by the shoulder that I don't know, I'm going to write an essay on it as well.

Did she get fired from a company because the CEO hates women? No.

Did she get physically assaulted or raped because she's a woman? No.

Is her pay significantly lowered simply due to the fact that she is a woman? No.

Did any significant change occur in her life from this encounter with this ONE douchebag? No.

Those are real problems which beg real discussion. This is an emotionally unstable girl who feels the world revolves around her and her gender. I know the type.

So why do I care? Why is it only women who blog about this emotional hot air?

It creates a false view of the field for other women, and when they go into it after reading crap like this, they assume this is what it's like.

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#152

Post by p_random »

a nice-looking lady ventures into a place infested by nerds who are sexually frustrated and lacking in experiences with the opposite gender and then she complains that they lack the ability to communicate well with her... here, let me say it. TAKE YOUR GENDER AND SHOVE IT PLEASE. GENDER MEANS NOTHING.

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#153

Post by UnoriginalGuy »

slewis wrote: post #37
meritt wrote: post #3

> In my mind, it’s a little preposterous that if I want to do so, however, I have to be ok with being felt up and indirectly insulted. To the author: You're right, it's unacceptable but you know how to fix it? You say something at the point in which it occurs. Nip it in the bud. Running off to write yet another gender-division-in-the-tech-world blog which will be read, primarily, by the sort of folk who already agree…

It's not on the author to say something. There were a handful of other people there who could have spoken up. Please, everyone, if you witness this type of rude behavior, speak up. We are all, male, female, undecided, both etc. responsible for improving treatment of non-males in tech. Take an active role.

> Please, everyone, if you witness this type of rude behavior, speak up. We are all, male, female, undecided, both etc. responsible for improving treatment of non-males in tech. Take an active role.

How are we meant to know this is "rude behaviour?" unless we are privy to allot of information about their personal lives they could have a previous relationship, could be married, or be hooking up.

If I see a guy put his hand around a women I am not going to try to intervene because I don't know the background there. It is just unrealistic to suggest people should do otherwise.

Now if she had previously mentioned this behaviour or the individual in a negative way I might say something, but based on the situation (and most situations) that wasn't the case.

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#154

Post by blueblue »

WHY do UNFRIENDLY Cultures exist for women? Answer: Why are there thieves? Because the neighbor will buy stolen goods. simple: always know 'the leader'. If not, carry the 'warning cards printed' and give them to everyone.

Placing your hands on female body should have a very very good explanation. Wing Chun started by buddhist nun. It seems that her young nuns were good looking and had to go begging door to door for alms. They were 'taken advantage of' and even 'molested SEVERELY' with pregnancies.

So, Wing Chun. bending the pinkie finger backwards. nerve points... Computer physical security is a lot like computer security.

accidental spill of water bottle all over the MANS lap may be helpful. When he goes to the washroom. explain the situation and find another seat.

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#155

Post by Crito »

sliverstorm wrote: post #134
runjake wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm really turned off by these posts, too. I roll my eyes and mutter "Christ, not another one". But I'm a male who doesn't have to worry about being groped and I keep my hands to myself. But let me guess how the reality turns out for her: - She says something about it. - The guy who is misbehaving is probably physically bigger than her. She may feel fearful of speaking up. or - She speaks up and gets called a "prude"…

She speaks up and gets called a "prude" I do wonder about this sometimes. Like, when have I ever cared what the guy who hit me with his car thinks of me? When have I ever cared what the guy who stole my MP3 player thought of me? I know "stop caring" isn't useful advice, but I wonder sometimes why any woman would care what an assaulter has to say in the first place.

I think the concern is more with what people in the immediate area (who may not have particularly been paying much attention) think. There is also the concern of escalating the situation beyond your control (fear that they might react violently).

Maybe the analogous situation is if you got mildly rear-ended, damaged cars but no injuries. Do you loudly call out the other driver and accuse them of negligence/recklessness, or do you calmly exchange information, file a police report, then let the situation be addressed when you are back home?

It's not really a good comparison, but I think it at least makes a little sense that you wouldn't try to call out the other driver on the side of the road after the accident (at least not without police present).

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#156

Post by UnoriginalGuy »

sliverstorm wrote: post #132
king_jester wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you don't know who any of these people are, or how they know each other, it's hard to tell what's going on. By default, a meetup group of strangers is an environment that should be free of harassment, it is better to speak up and be told that contact is OK than to say nothing and let someone fend for themselves.

So you're going to go butt in on every couple there?

I'm confused too! Are they suggesting that if a husband/wife couple come together and the dude hugs her I should run up, push them apart, and then threaten him for being gropey?

Do people on here even leave the house? They've really out of touch with reality.

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#157

Post by jpwright »

2gg2rg wrote: post #39
jpwright wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How many more posts like this are needed to convince you that the whole community of tech meetups is hostile towards women? Of course that individual deserves the lion's share of the blame, but writing this off as an isolated individual acting inappropriately misses the forest for the trees (i.e. misses the root cause [culture] for the proximate cause [assholes]). To further analogize, perhaps the bad apple was there…

> How many more posts like this are needed to convince you that the whole community of tech meetups is hostile towards women? A whole lot more, because I don't see this shit at the tech meetups I go to.

Looks like you have some reading to do. Here's a good place to start: http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Timeline_of_incidents

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#158

Post by ZenoArrow »

gnaritas wrote: post #111
silencio wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a woman, what I hate is when I'm trying to be nice and proper and educational about telling people to back off and they use that as a springboard to go all "who, me?" or maybe "oh, okay" and then assume I'm a frigid bitch anyway instead of recognizing that they're the ones making a big mistake. So nowadays I am of the shove the offending body part off and "get your hands off me" mindset because it doesn't really m…

> So nowadays I am of the shove the offending body part off and "get your hands off me" mindset because it doesn't really matter. Awesome, as a guy, that's what I think women should do.

Okay, so that's what women should do, then what should men do?

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#159

Post by gnaritas »

sliverstorm wrote: post #138
gnaritas wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Understandable, but meek people get walked on; that's simply how the world works. How it out to work really doesn't matter, practically speaking you must play the cards you're dealt. If a guy hits on a women and she doesn’t like it, she needs to end it somehow, either by leaving, or by confronting.

meek people get walked on; that's simply how the world works I agree, and so my personal advice to individuals is to not be meek. But one of the points of civilized society is to defend the meek. So, the two messages (stop being meek for your own sake; we need to defend the meek) are not incompatible.

I don't think they're incompatible at all. Had I been there an seen it, I'd have defender her, but when there's no one there to do so, the meek must step up or get walked on. The world isn't as it out to be. There's always the leave option, or simply move away from that person.

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#160

Post by kordless »

hbags wrote: post #137
meritt wrote: post #3

> In my mind, it’s a little preposterous that if I want to do so, however, I have to be ok with being felt up and indirectly insulted. To the author: You're right, it's unacceptable but you know how to fix it? You say something at the point in which it occurs. Nip it in the bud. Running off to write yet another gender-division-in-the-tech-world blog which will be read, primarily, by the sort of folk who already agree…

I think it's absolutely disgusting that you criticize the victim for documenting what happened to her. It's despicable and downright fucking evil that you basically accuse her of sharing her story solely because she wants attention. The worst part of your god-awful post is that it's currently pinned to the top of this board. The fact that your disgusting, insensitive post is at the top is why women don't work in tech…

I usually stay away from making blaming statements, but you're an asshat.

Merritt didn't criticize anyone - instead they (she?) offered suggestions for a path to conflict resolution. You, on the other hand, are making a slew of blaming statements that are made up bullshit. What you are angry about, I'm unsure. I'll hazard you don't know either.

Cognitive dissonance at its finest, folks.

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