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In praise of blowing up your life

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Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#171

Post by sergioisidoro »

whitepaint wrote: post #124
hayst4ck wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"One doesn't realize in early life that the price of freedom is loneliness. To be happy one must be tied." ~ CS Lewis I don't know the context of the quote and I know next to nothing about CS Lewis, but having blown my life up at one point and experienced freedom on a level few on this planet could achieve (health, money, time, and will) the quote rang very true for me. I think some people grow up in a community and…

> "Always be surrounded by love..." unless you are gay. Gay, trans, atheist, feminist, brown, an opioid addict, a questioner of authority, or otherwise different. Or a middle-aged white man. https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/

Comparing the suicide rate of those groups with middle aged white men (adjusted for the population size) is a bit silly. Some sources point to 40% of trans people having attempted suicide, and I don't think 40% of middle aged men have attempted suicide.

In absolute numbers the suicide rate among men is an epidemic, but it's not fair to equate the two populations...

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#172

Post by lm28469 »

marginalia_nu wrote: post #166
lm28469 wrote: post #160

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Social alienation is very bad, but is not severe trauma. Voluntary social alienation can definitely be caused by trauma, I think that's what the person your reply to implied

The problem with trauma as an explanatory model is is that if you dig deep enough, pretty much anyone has had life experiences that may be characterized as traumatic. And even if you find someone who hasn't, they've clearly lead such a sheltered life that it's a sort of trauma on its own. Because of this, childhood trauma is a sort of universal explanation that will explain things even outside of psychology, everythi…

Surely divorcing your wife, randomly moving to Thailand and telling people they should do the same to get happier isn't a normal behavior. Call it what you want

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#173

Post by debok »

pizza wrote: post #126
monero-xmr wrote: post #56

Alternatively, never blow up your life! Live near your family and lifelong friends, establish hardcore roots with your community, always be surrounded by love. A road less taken by the educated elites, but a happy and fulfilling road nonetheless. The Onion’s take: https://www.theonion.com/unambitious-loser-with-happy-fulfil...

Always wonder what people without roots are supposed to do. Where's the advice for them?

While it might be hard to grow roots, it is not impossible. IMO, you should start doing serious work on growing roots when you are in your late 20s. Growing roots include:

- Getting married

- Having kids

- Settling down to live in one place

- Finding out how you can participate in the local community, and the actively participate

You will find that people are remarkably open to people who willingly contribute to other's well-being. This is how friends are made, this is how roots are grown.

Edit: formatting

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#174

Post by sledgehammers »

lm28469 wrote: post #172
marginalia_nu wrote: post #166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The problem with trauma as an explanatory model is is that if you dig deep enough, pretty much anyone has had life experiences that may be characterized as traumatic. And even if you find someone who hasn't, they've clearly lead such a sheltered life that it's a sort of trauma on its own. Because of this, childhood trauma is a sort of universal explanation that will explain things even outside of psychology, everythi…

Surely divorcing your wife, randomly moving to Thailand and telling people they should do the same to get happier isn't a normal behavior. Call it what you want

Who gets to define normal though? We have one life in this crazy universe.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#176

Post by 4ggr0 »

whitepaint wrote: post #163
4ggr0 wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

We should not compare the magnitude of suffering based on race, sex or sexual orientation. That is how you divide people. That is how you alienate them. Telling those depressed white middle aged men that by default they have it easier because of history or because people at the top are usually white male might be one of main reasons they commit suicide the most.

The difference is that most white men who kill themselves probably don't do it because they're white, heterosexual men. They do it because other aspects of their life, which is tragic in itself.

On the other hand, people with other sexualities or non-cis people are being treated unfairly for who they are.

That's why I didn't understand why you felt the need to mention white male suicides. It's pretty obvious that non-white, non-hetero people are being treated differently by default in our western societies.

Plus, see this https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36307885

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#177

Post by brabel »

debok wrote: post #173
pizza wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Always wonder what people without roots are supposed to do. Where's the advice for them?

While it might be hard to grow roots, it is not impossible. IMO, you should start doing serious work on growing roots when you are in your late 20s. Growing roots include: - Getting married - Having kids - Settling down to live in one place - Finding out how you can participate in the local community, and the actively participate You will find that people are remarkably open to people who willingly contribute to othe…

I "blew my life up" twice. Both times I was looking to start over and settle, i.e. grow roots, but in a different place.

It failed both times. People are incredibly difficult to accept outsiders within their circle. I did get married, but wife wants no kids :( ... which makes the marriage a little... fragile. Without close family/friends holding me here (I am and feel like a complete stranger here, 10 years on, and my wife is not local either), it seems I could just go at any time.

However, blowing my life up a third time seems futile. It may work for some people, but after failing twice, doing it a third time seems stupid.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#178

Post by badcppdev »

monero-xmr wrote: post #56

Alternatively, never blow up your life! Live near your family and lifelong friends, establish hardcore roots with your community, always be surrounded by love. A road less taken by the educated elites, but a happy and fulfilling road nonetheless. The Onion’s take: https://www.theonion.com/unambitious-loser-with-happy-fulfil...

I think that the elites have established social networks. I think that's almost in the definition of elite.

Are the terms "elite" and "elites" a term with hidden meaning in the US? Is it a republican dogwhistle for democrats?

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#180

Post by 4ggr0 »

Gud wrote: post #161
4ggr0 wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

A very small subset of middle aged white men hold any power(in predominantly white countries). Most of us are just trying to get by

Well, sure. Still, a middle aged white man probably has other kinds of privileges than a black transsexual woman. That's kinda my point. I'm not saying that white males don't have it hard but as a white male I never really had to face any kind of discrimination for being who I am. And if it happened it was mostly done by white, heterosexual men.

I wonder why nobody is mentioning the reasons that these suicides happen and instead just talks about the raw numbers.

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