I think we're afraid of being wrong. We live in a society where access to information is greater than it ever has been in history, and everything we may take an interest in doing has been done before, and someone has already pointed out all of the flaws and how it's wrong. We see that first and focus in on it, and we let it destroy something that a previous generation would've seen as imperfect yet beautiful.
Information overload can be worse than none at all. I recall someone did a study of employee 401K participation, and above a certain point, the more choices they were given the fewer people ever signed up. Our limited capacity for "decision-making" is at least as real a limitation as time or money.
Think about all this specialization. This is what a "good economy" looks like. Parents who work long hours so they can afford to rent some great apartment and buy stuff for their family. They outsource a lot of the childcare to professional nannies or whoever. They outsource a lot of the elder care to nursing homes etc. People are getting married later in life so they can focus on their career. Individualism, kids mo…
> We are materially richer, but what about the social connections? Well...Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn of course.
Those are database records. Social connections are actual interactions with other people.
I don't feel like ordering things online makes me a shut-in at all - just the opposite. I work a lot, and by spending less time on the drudgery of brick-and-mortar shopping, I have more time to spend on the things that matter to me. Including socializing. Yeah, maybe I leave the house less, but are those trips to the store really "quality time?" Making a run to Wal-Mart or the supermarket to buy toilet paper is time…
> Retail shopping is usually freaking depressing - the employees and customers are often rude, and you're bombarded from all angles with sights and sounds designed to entice (or scare) you into buying things you don't need. No thank you. That's not about retail, that's about urban life. I live in a town of less than 2,000 people. There's one grocery store, and when you go there you recognize at least half the people…
Even in cities that happens, depending on the city and your lifestyle. I live in a city of 500,000 people (1.5m metro area), but I recognize people all the time, because we don't spread out randomly throughout the city on a given day. For example for groceries, I almost always shop at the three grocery stores on my street, because there's no particular reason for me to carry groceries across the city when I can just walk next door. There, I see mostly other people from the neighborhood and recognize most of the employees. I usually recognize people at coffee shops and bars where I'm a semi-regular, too. Fairly often I'll even run into people I know just out on the street or metro and stop to chat.
Most of these benefits are being subsidized by VC money (and pension fund LPs). The only reason I enjoyed my $2.25 LyftLine rides last month was because Lyft was burning through their VC money trying to build enough supply/demand to get better scale. Thank you California Teachers Pension Fund! Even with 20-30% markups these companies will not make money without big assumptions about moving down the cost curve. When the VC party end for these companies, it will end for us too, and then we'll have to go to the store to buy our own damn gluten free kale! Until then ladies and gentlemen, we live like aristocrats!
While depression is a real issue, I think people suffer from all the Skinner box reward cycles built into games / apps now days. Cook dinner takes time and some effort, clicking delver now and soon food just shows up. Things that lack that level of reinforcement just seem less interesting. Sure, I could physically travel to interesting places or just click around on Google maps. The joy might not be as great as actua…
Tough love doesn't work here. Logic doesn't penetrate. Worse, I worry you could come across as trivializing addiction, depression and other mental health issues. When in doubt seek help. That is what we need to encourage. And I know first hand how hard it is to seek help and keep seeking it, but the very act can be its own little bit of healing.
No, I think parent is exactly right. I feel similar to the OP, but I know for sure it's not a depression. And I think I suffer the same problem the parent described. The real world just seems so messy and complicated compared to virtual worlds.
You may call it a mental health issue, but it is neither addiction nor depression; if anything, it's just not being addicted to real world enough.
I guess call me crazy, but I really enjoy chores. They aren't always pleasent, but they are a diversion. I can listen to NPR podcasts while grocery shopping. I catch up on the "Stuff you should know" podcast while cleaning and vacuuming my apartment. And I enjoy a walk around the area in the evenings when the weather is nice out. The diversions are where I can really think. I often have too many distractions at the c…
Yup. I don't even think of them as chores. I mean, maybe cleaning, but grocery shopping? I enjoy that shit. I'm too anal retentive to let someone else pick out my produce. Aside from that, if you're in a city why do you even need these services?
Are these people so glued to their work that they can't take 30 minutes out of the day to walk to the grocery store and pick up a few items? This article was very sad to read imo.
So for all of you people who withstand the bullshit of the bay area but stay in all the time...why are you wasting all your money living in a city and not taking advantage of being urban? You could, instead, move a bit further outside the city and live around trees, grass and the best part? There's like no people around! It's great! I mean...you don't even need to live in the bay area. You could just move to, oh I do…
> So for all of you people who withstand the bullshit of the bay area but stay in all the time...why are you wasting all your money living in a city and not taking advantage of being urban? You could, instead, move a bit further outside the city and live around trees, grass and the best part? There's like no people around! It's great!
Right!? When I saw that the concierge said they have a lot of "work from homers" I was like "wait...what". Why on earth would you live in SF if you could work from anywhere?
Does she see these messages you are writing? It's a bit of an odd suggestions, but consider having kids. Kids have a way of needing things, that just transcends all the meaningless excuses you have for not getting anything done. Make it a point that it's YOU that takes them to school, or shopping or whatever. Or if shopping is too confusing to do alone make a point that the whole family goes. That it's you that makes…
I have zero experience with parenthood. That said, Raising kids for any reason other than "raising kids" strikes me as terrible advice. I'd be interested in hearing anecdotes of whether raising productivity by having kids is effective (let alone morally permissible).
The only reason to have kids is if you think you can do a good job raising them.
It makes no difference why they were born, or how it helped you. The only thing that matters is how you raise them.
There are plenty of people who have children in order to mature, be adults, and progress in life. If you love them, and pay attention to them, and intend to raise them well, it works just fine.
Do you feel guilty doing 'fun' things or is nothing fun? I have the guilt side of it. E.g. "Sure, I could go jet-skiing for a few hours but I should be productive." Is that it?
Ah no not at all, work isn't really a big driver for me at the moment so I tend not to feel guilty about it. I do feel I should do something more ambitious. So my brother for example keeps telling me to just get a job at a coffeeshop, go out and meet new people through work again. My bills are such that I easily could, but in that case I'd feel like I'd be wasting my time and should be doing something productive. I d…
This is personal experience talking: there's a close to 100% chance you're clinically depressed. Try speaking with your girlfriend about it if you need some encouraging to try to work on it. I stopped pursuing treatment for about 4-5 years and really wish that I had that time back. The way you describe having fun when you get out but not pursuing it yourself describes the way I used to be perfectly. It gets comforting or reassuring to do nothing to make it better, because that's all that you're used to - but once you find something that helps you and return to a better mental state, you'll realize how bad it is now and wish that you started sooner. Don't get me wrong, it's very difficult, and there's never an easy answer to finding what helps you feel better. There will be times that trying will make it worse. But after 10+ years I finally feel close to normal again and it was very much worth the effort. If you'd like to reach out or talk further, let me know, I would be glad.