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The Shut-In Economy

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151–160 of 348 posts

Re: The Shut-In Economy

#151

Think about all this specialization. This is what a "good economy" looks like. Parents who work long hours so they can afford to rent some great apartment and buy stuff for their family. They outsource a lot of the childcare to professional nannies or whoever. They outsource a lot of the elder care to nursing homes etc. People are getting married later in life so they can focus on their career. Individualism, kids mo…

> Now, people are complaining that they have to get through so many birthday wishes on their wall and write a semi-personalized "thanks" response to each one.

Noooooo you just made that up in your head.

> People are getting married later in life so they can focus on their career.

Noooo, they are just no longer ignorant and don't think a god will smite them if the have a relationship before marriage.

> kids moving out early, trying to impress each other with great apartments etc.

Noooo, they are more childish than ever and are now still living with the parents past their mid teens. Here the reality might actually make you point.

The world is what you believe it to be, you're far from reality but it will become that for you if you keep believing this stuff.

Re: The Shut-In Economy

#152

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't quite know what to say... although I nearly wouldn't have, either. My girlfriend fell in love just as I was slipping into this new shut-in life. She had to adjust to me not really wanting to go to a cafe, movie, restaurant, park, museum, party, friends etc. It's the reason I wanted to break up and told her it's not going to work out like this. But she refused and stayed with me, we moved in together and it's…

This is similar to my life in a lot of ways! I feel you on a lot of these things. Although I was always pretty happy spending most of my time alone, and I didn't do a lot of traveling. I think if I had to sum it all up, I'd say that the things I value just aren't really obtained by doing a lot of shallow socializing. I'd rather have a few very close friends, and I'd rather do a few things very well than do a bunch of…

> Do you think it's possible that you don't feel a need to do these things precisely because you've already done them?

Mmm good question. When I was a bit younger there was definitely an urge to do things I'd never done before. Travel, go to college, live on my own, girlfriend etc. And certainly there's a sense that this first-time's urge is gone.

But I've also always enjoyed things I had already done. Meeting friends or playing another game of football like hundreds before, going dancing etc, I used to like doing them weekly or monthly even when I'd have done them tens of times before. But not anymore so that's new. And when I came back from Asia I certainly didn't feel like I'd seen it all. I mean those 4 continents sound like a bigger deal than they are. I've seen only 2 countries in each of those continents, none of them more than 6 months, except Europe where I've lived for decades and traveled quite a bit. In terms of traveling there's a shit ton of places I'd love to visit, on paper that is. Places I've never been, would be awesome to explore and that I'd enjoy being if I happened to be there.

Thanks for sharing your story, always wanted to get a dog haha. But also always felt like it was a huge 10+ year commitment. Who knows maybe in a few years, if I ever buy a house I can definitely see myself having a dog! :)

Re: The Shut-In Economy

#153
post #118

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Does she see these messages you are writing? It's a bit of an odd suggestions, but consider having kids. Kids have a way of needing things, that just transcends all the meaningless excuses you have for not getting anything done. Make it a point that it's YOU that takes them to school, or shopping or whatever. Or if shopping is too confusing to do alone make a point that the whole family goes. That it's you that makes…

> Does she see these messages you are writing? Nope, unless she tries to find it. HN is in my favorites and it auto-logins. But she's really not the type for that. I think it'd be pretty painful to read although she knows the bulk of it. > It's a bit of an odd suggestions, but consider having kids. Still 24, so that'd be really early for us, not something I'd love to have so early in my life (although I can imagine h…

> I think it'd be pretty painful to read although she knows the bulk of it.

Personally I think she should, but of course I don't really know anything about her.

> Still 24, so that'd be really early for us

I don't think 24 is especially young. Maybe a drop younger than typical, but you seem to have good earning potential, and someone you love. What more do you need?

It has advantages too - you have more energy when young, and kids take a lot of work.

(Also don't forget you never know how long it will actually take.)

> But this issue is not something I'd ever want to use as a reason to have kids

It's not written permanently on them you know. Helping their parents is probably the best reason to have kids. "Why did you have me Dad?" "Because you make me happy."

What matters is how you raise them, not why they were born.

Re: The Shut-In Economy

#154
post #118

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't quite know what to say... although I nearly wouldn't have, either. My girlfriend fell in love just as I was slipping into this new shut-in life. She had to adjust to me not really wanting to go to a cafe, movie, restaurant, park, museum, party, friends etc. It's the reason I wanted to break up and told her it's not going to work out like this. But she refused and stayed with me, we moved in together and it's…

Does she see these messages you are writing? It's a bit of an odd suggestions, but consider having kids. Kids have a way of needing things, that just transcends all the meaningless excuses you have for not getting anything done. Make it a point that it's YOU that takes them to school, or shopping or whatever. Or if shopping is too confusing to do alone make a point that the whole family goes. That it's you that makes…

I have zero experience with parenthood. That said,

Raising kids for any reason other than "raising kids" strikes me as terrible advice. I'd be interested in hearing anecdotes of whether raising productivity by having kids is effective (let alone morally permissible).

Re: The Shut-In Economy

#155
post #35
post #24

This is how I feel. I don't watch TV for hours like I did as a child. What I do now is worse; stay in doors programming, browsing the web aimlessly, or staring at the ceiling. I don't blame my internet lifestyle for this really, but I literally don't know what else to do and the internet is so accommodating to me being a shut-in. I know I'm wasting my life but I don't know how to stop. San Francisco is a beautiful ci…

That sounds rough! Would you like some random suggestions on what to do tonight based on projections from my personal life and experience?

Sure I would.

Re: The Shut-In Economy

#156

I don't feel like ordering things online makes me a shut-in at all - just the opposite. I work a lot, and by spending less time on the drudgery of brick-and-mortar shopping, I have more time to spend on the things that matter to me. Including socializing. Yeah, maybe I leave the house less, but are those trips to the store really "quality time?" Making a run to Wal-Mart or the supermarket to buy toilet paper is time…

So would you say there's now a greater efficiency to your social interactions knowing that they are, for the most part, more uncommon? There could be something to be gained by learning not to take personal transactions for granted, but I'm curious as to whether there's any proof/metrics for that. Also, playing devil's advocate, but I don't see how the online shopping experience is any better - sure, there isn't human…

The online shopping experience doesn't require me to find my shoes and generally doesn't have fixed hours. Also, at this point, online shops often offer better security.

Re: The Shut-In Economy

#157

I don't feel like ordering things online makes me a shut-in at all - just the opposite. I work a lot, and by spending less time on the drudgery of brick-and-mortar shopping, I have more time to spend on the things that matter to me. Including socializing. Yeah, maybe I leave the house less, but are those trips to the store really "quality time?" Making a run to Wal-Mart or the supermarket to buy toilet paper is time…

> Retail shopping is usually freaking depressing - the employees and customers are often rude, and you're bombarded from all angles with sights and sounds designed to entice (or scare) you into buying things you don't need. No thank you.

That's not about retail, that's about urban life. I live in a town of less than 2,000 people. There's one grocery store, and when you go there you recognize at least half the people inside (if you didn't already recognize their vehicle in the parking lot). In 2015, there is less need than ever for us to all live in the same few places. Remote work can offer you offer the benefits of small-town life without the loss of economic opportunities that used to go along with it.

Re: The Shut-In Economy

#159
post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know what exactly you've tried, and back seat driving on HN about such a tough topic is probably a bad idea, but... Have you tried joining a volunteer organization? I'm a member of a couple, and it's hard to overstate how much it has helped me get out. Helping other people is such a rush. It's not all roses and sunshine, but might be worth a try if you haven't gone down that path. Either a dedicated non profi…

Yes! Volunteering is great. You meet really good people doing it. Because people who volunteer tend to be people with big hearts, of course.

Having done a small amount of required volunteering for school I would disagree. Of course, I live in the middle of nowhere, and it was mostly my classmates volunteering with me who are also required to volunteer for so many hours.

Re: The Shut-In Economy

#160

I started working from home as an employee and then moved out of the job to be an independent consultant working from home. I enjoyed the freedom, there was so much I could do apart from work after saving on daily travel and lesser restriction on time. Slowly, it turned the other way round - I got shut-in. Started from not having to go to local store daily - because it was a waste of time. I could not relate to a cal…

Oh god this is so familiar. Work from home, too, pays the bills just fine but I've lost any semblance of schedule. Barely need to go out anymore, just for groceries but my gf who goes out daily and loves to cook likes to do this part, only occasionally do I run to the store to get some things for her. So I barely get out.

Been meaning to go out on a daily basis but I think I have DSPD [0] and so I tend to wake up late, sleep really late (or early in the morning). It's terrible really, I feel like a bum or a teenage kid sleeping like this but it's like I'm programmed to act like a 3 year old in the morning, the self-discipline required to get out is insane while I've generally always had a bit of a spartan lifestyle haha. It boggles my mind how hard it is for me to get up. And I absolutely can't sleep at night consistently. Even if I wake up at 8AM, work out heavy for 2 hours, spend a day draining my brain concentrating for hours, meet people for hours and go around town doing groceries and am physically tired, I can't sleep. And then at 4-5AM it hits me like a train. Sometimes I'll power through, not sleeping because I know if I sleep at 4, I'll wake up at 12. So instead I'll try not to sleep and power through until the evening, and then yes I can finally sleep at night that day.

But then that next day I generally still wake up at 12. Even if I ease into it and change my sleeping schedule by 1 hour every two days, at some point it gets reset. Anyway the point of all this is that I tend to wake up shortly after noon and I just don't want to go out for an hour at that point, all I want to do is get some work done before I need to clean up, help prepare dinner, spend time with my gf etc. After sleeping in so late, the last thing I want to do is spend the first hour walking around outside. So I postpone going outside to the evening and I never really do, especially if it's dark and cold like now. In that way it's exactly like you said, a self-imposed prison in the name of work and saving time. And then a little later it's 12PM and I've still got hours ahead of me, but there's no way I'm going outside at 3AM. (I used to as a teenager, but now as an adult I'd just feel like a freak and my gf would get super worried and want to have 'a talk' if I started doing that haha. Also I'd be bored out of my mind if it's dark and deserted. Also, no Vitamin D at night!) Writing all of this down is confronting haha, looks like my life is a mess.

Still trying to find some balance to all of this. I've been meaning to just get a regular job again, but I'm genuinely afraid I couldn't do the 9-5 schedule, as I basically went straight into freelance work out of college and both college and freelance work allowed weird schedules. The hope is that the pressure to conform to this model for fear of getting fired etc forces me to keep to the schedule.

Would love any more ideas or experiences if you want to share :)

0] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_sleep_phase_disorder

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