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South Korea's middle aged men are dying 'lonely deaths'

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Re: South Korea's middle aged men are dying 'lonely deaths'

#161
post #96
post #2

This is a situation that will affect too many men worldwide as they are more likely to live single / be childless. The solution is to have communities or networks of people built explitictly around the idea of caring for others.

It’s called kinship networks built around people with blood ties. In tens of thousands of years nobody has figured out any stronger bond.

This is a western and modern idea.

Re: South Korea's middle aged men are dying 'lonely deaths'

#162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure if the shallow, mostly transactional relations men build help in the context of loneliness. Non-religious versions of "churches" seem to fail due to a lack of regular attendance. Free Masons seem to have solved this by building some kinds of pressure to attend. I genuinely wonder why they fell out of favor. Did they just become uncool?

Guys who drop out of freemasonry tend to do so because their girlfriends/wives disapprove (or would) of the social status of the other men involved. I'm in the middle of this issue now, and I can say it's because a generation of men (boomer/X) grew up depending on their girlfriends/wives to manage their social lives. There are actually guys who bring their wives/girlfriends to meet new male friends to vet the guys fo…

This sounds…unhinged, homophobic, and like black pilled toxic masculinity.

Stuff like:

> GenX men are largely codependent and needy owing to pressure to be "sensitive,"

> being largely raised in broken homes,

> so their ideal relationship now resembles what is effectively sexual cannibalism elsewhere in nature.

> They don't identify as men because they think men are who hurt their mothers, the source of their belief in a perfect infant self.

What?

Re: South Korea's middle aged men are dying 'lonely deaths'

#163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Guys who drop out of freemasonry tend to do so because their girlfriends/wives disapprove (or would) of the social status of the other men involved. I'm in the middle of this issue now, and I can say it's because a generation of men (boomer/X) grew up depending on their girlfriends/wives to manage their social lives. There are actually guys who bring their wives/girlfriends to meet new male friends to vet the guys fo…

This sounds…unhinged, homophobic, and like black pilled toxic masculinity. Stuff like: > GenX men are largely codependent and needy owing to pressure to be "sensitive," > being largely raised in broken homes, > so their ideal relationship now resembles what is effectively sexual cannibalism elsewhere in nature. > They don't identify as men because they think men are who hurt their mothers, the source of their belief…

Uncorrected personality traits that seem whimsical in a child may prove to be ugly in a fully grown adult.

Re: South Korea's middle aged men are dying 'lonely deaths'

#164
post #2

This is a situation that will affect too many men worldwide as they are more likely to live single / be childless. The solution is to have communities or networks of people built explitictly around the idea of caring for others.

Right those exist, they're called families. Actually they've existed for longer than humans. It turns out that many animals, particularly mammals and including us, have evolved this behavior where they live with their blood relatives and take care of them, it has worked pretty well for millions of years. Now it so happens that in many modern human societies there's a declining birth rate and consequently fewer famili…

You completely ignored that children move far away from their parents, following the money of rich people who concentrate in a few specific geographic areas. That is the whole shtick behind LA, the bay area and NYC after all. You go there because you get closer to the money. It is particularly paradoxical when your parents invest in stocks because then you have to follow your parent's money.

Re: South Korea's middle aged men are dying 'lonely deaths'

#165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This sounds…unhinged, homophobic, and like black pilled toxic masculinity. Stuff like: > GenX men are largely codependent and needy owing to pressure to be "sensitive," > being largely raised in broken homes, > so their ideal relationship now resembles what is effectively sexual cannibalism elsewhere in nature. > They don't identify as men because they think men are who hurt their mothers, the source of their belief…

Uncorrected personality traits that seem whimsical in a child may prove to be ugly in a fully grown adult.

What? Obsessing over men being men and worrying about made up gender norms is the most childish binary way of thinking.

Re: South Korea's middle aged men are dying 'lonely deaths'

#166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Right those exist, they're called families. Actually they've existed for longer than humans. It turns out that many animals, particularly mammals and including us, have evolved this behavior where they live with their blood relatives and take care of them, it has worked pretty well for millions of years. Now it so happens that in many modern human societies there's a declining birth rate and consequently fewer famili…

You completely ignored that children move far away from their parents, following the money of rich people who concentrate in a few specific geographic areas. That is the whole shtick behind LA, the bay area and NYC after all. You go there because you get closer to the money. It is particularly paradoxical when your parents invest in stocks because then you have to follow your parent's money.

I haven't ignored that at all. Big cities are great talent pools for megacorps that owe their success to a free market while simultaneously seeking to destroy it. Those big cities also suck for decentralization of capital and power and for human society in general. Anxiety and depression are higher in big cities.

Big cities are filled with highly educated white collar serfs (sorry I mean professionals) who are great human resources.

In rural communities- the birth rate is way higher.

So what are you getting at?

Re: South Korea's middle aged men are dying 'lonely deaths'

#167
post #113
post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Who is being forced into relationships with these men? How undesirable could they be having slept with them at least once?

Is there anyone you’ve ever met that you could imagine having sex with but wouldn’t want to be around for the rest of your life, linking your finances to, or raising children with? Think of how many times you’ve heard about someone changing after starting a relationship - whether that’s cheating, putting more effort into dating than they do to maintaining a relationship or, especially given the culture in question, t…

I think women benefit when they raise the standards on who they decide to sleep with. Women are pretty good at that when they want to, and men tend to benefit when women hold them to a higher standard.

Re: South Korea's middle aged men are dying 'lonely deaths'

#168

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Uncorrected personality traits that seem whimsical in a child may prove to be ugly in a fully grown adult.

What? Obsessing over men being men and worrying about made up gender norms is the most childish binary way of thinking.

Lack of involvement with the father or over-involvement with the mother may result in lack of ability to relate to sexual peers.

Re: South Korea's middle aged men are dying 'lonely deaths'

#169

Earlier quoted context omitted.

GP thinks we should go back to religions that teach people to have as many kids as possible and to subjugate women, as they do in conservative countries. He didn't get the memo that the fertility rate in UAE is now 1.37.

Wonder how much of that is propped up by immigrant workers, as it is in the States.

[dead]

Re: South Korea's middle aged men are dying 'lonely deaths'

#170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Guys who drop out of freemasonry tend to do so because their girlfriends/wives disapprove (or would) of the social status of the other men involved. I'm in the middle of this issue now, and I can say it's because a generation of men (boomer/X) grew up depending on their girlfriends/wives to manage their social lives. There are actually guys who bring their wives/girlfriends to meet new male friends to vet the guys fo…

This sounds…unhinged, homophobic, and like black pilled toxic masculinity. Stuff like: > GenX men are largely codependent and needy owing to pressure to be "sensitive," > being largely raised in broken homes, > so their ideal relationship now resembles what is effectively sexual cannibalism elsewhere in nature. > They don't identify as men because they think men are who hurt their mothers, the source of their belief…

It's 2023, we're adults, we can have conversations about how we relate. Given the original topic was about how men demographically have trouble forming relationships - where they did not for literally centuries, the meaningful question is what has changed.

I had direct experience with the growth issues facing a traditional fraternal organization. We can't really use the words we mean when we talk about the jargon this comment uses, but suffice it to say, among the scores of men I know socially, the people who use that jargon are punchlines.

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