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Ask HN: Are you depressed?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#161

Post by princevegeta89 »

jokab wrote: post #156
princevegeta89 wrote: post #117

I lost my father recently and this has been the toughest period in my life. I grew up in India in a middle-class family and my father always went through unimaginable hardships just so that he can buy us chocolates and pay our tuition. He was still young at 65 and there was so much that I wanted to see and share with him. Realizing that this is not ever going to happen itself kills me from the inside. I'm doing okay…

That was beautiful.

Thank you. This was such a blow to me but I think everyone passes through this phase at some point. Even my father did when he lost his father. Based on my experience I can only say that this sort of pain is very personal and unique. I'm slowly coming to cope up with it.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#162

Post by peterwoerner »

kylebenzle wrote: post #45
trzeci wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel you, myself I have two toddlers (2, 4) that was a life change for me. Responsibility, scream, lack of sleep, inability to what I used to do to get some energy boost. Which escalated during working from home. No advice from my side, as I haven't found any good way. Take care,

6 and 3 year old. I feel bad about comments like this. Kids are the greatest gift and I cherish every second with them. Getting to spend more time at home with them has been a god send. I feel like so much of this comes from a lack of control when people feel (for some reason) like they should be able to "control" their kids. Maybe let go of the control thing and just enjoy your time with them?

This is true and I relish being able to work from home have extra time with my kids and also it seems that on most days I can get 4 hours of work done and 8 hours of sleep or 8 hours of work and 4 hours of sleep. So either my work has to suffer or my health has to suffer or what has actually happened is they have both suffered.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#163

Post by leonidasv »

No, but taking 300mg of Effexor (venlafaxine) every single day (for reference, the maximum allowed dose is 375mg).

Venlafaxine is known for being one of the hardest antidepressants to stop taking once you start. It's like being physically addicted to it, if I skip it for just one single day, I start having seizures, dizziness and feeling like a zombie. People can take years to stop taking it by gradually decreasing the intake dosage very slowly to prevent the discontinuation effects or getting depressed again (been there three times already).

That said, I feel great right now. Not that I don't have some days that I'm mildly depressed (meds aren't a panacea), but I've been able to get to work in another city and get out of my parent's house for 2 years in a row since I've started psychotherapy. I'm now working on a great startup, earning enough to save every month, have a stable relationship and plans for the future.

If you're depressed, don't dismiss psychotherapy. It may take time to find the right professionals and the right meds - I needed some years, but lots of friends got it right on the first try. There are some DNA tests available to speed this up (they match drugs that are more prone to work with your genetics). I recommend everyone trying it. All the cons and side effects of venlafaxine definitely worth it for me - and you may not even need to take it to get as better, as there are antidepressants with "lighter" side-effects known to be very effective.

Take care of your mental health, HNers.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#164

Post by tyler4792 »

princevegeta89 wrote: post #117

I lost my father recently and this has been the toughest period in my life. I grew up in India in a middle-class family and my father always went through unimaginable hardships just so that he can buy us chocolates and pay our tuition. He was still young at 65 and there was so much that I wanted to see and share with him. Realizing that this is not ever going to happen itself kills me from the inside. I'm doing okay…

This is supposed to be hard of course, but I'm very glad that you've handled it so well!

>last paragraph

I wish more whitemen were like you

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#165

Post by cambalache »

Are you married , live with a SO or have another person or relative in your life?

Have you perceived any income in the last 12 months?

Are you able to legally work in the country you live in?

Do you own a house or rent a place?

Do you have any friends?

If you answered yes to any of these questions you are already doing way better than me. I am not depressed. I know it does not work like that, but sometimes a little bit of appreciation for the things we already have helps.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#166

Post by dang »

amingilani wrote: post #76
dang wrote: post #70

Btw, HN can do polls too. See https://news.ycombinator.com/newsfaq.html .

In all my years reading HN, I've never seen a native HN poll trending to the front page. And I consider myself obsessed with it. It's my primary website to visit on the internet. I'm not saying that they may not have made the front page, just that I haven't seen one.

pg used to use them quite a bit. There have been a few on the front page since he left but not so many, because they were starting to get overused and I penalized them. Then they started to die off, which was not the intention, so I removed the penalty—but the population has not yet recovered and the species remains endangered.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#167

Post by okareaman »

snazz wrote: post #142
okareaman wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was suicidally depressed in 2017. A combination of medication, CBT, talk therapy and the love and care of other helping professionals got me better. I've never felt better. It gets better. My email is in my user info.

FYI: Your email isn’t visible to other users (except moderators) right now—it has to be in the About field to be visible to everyone else.

Thanks. Fixed it.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#168

Post by peterwwillis »

Important to note that "feeling depressed" and "having depression" are two different things.

Everyone feels depressed sometimes. Maybe your mom died, maybe you're getting divorced, maybe you lost your job. Feeling depressed is normal, but it doesn't mean you have clinical depression.

Clinical depression, or Major Depressive Disorder, is a specific condition and people often don't know all the symptoms.

If you experience the following, you may have clinical depression.

  - you experience a change in your previous functioning
  - symptoms occur for a period of 2 or more weeks
  - at least one symptom is either depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure
  
  - plus 5 of the following, experienced in the 2-week period:
    You feel sad or irritable most of the day, nearly every day.
    You’re less interested in most activities you once enjoyed.
    You suddenly lose or gain weight or have a change in appetite.
    You have trouble falling asleep or want to sleep more than usual.
    You experience feelings of restlessness.
    You feel unusually tired and have a lack of energy.
    You feel worthless or guilty, often about things that wouldn’t normally make you feel that way.
    You have difficulty concentrating, thinking, or making decisions.
    You think about harming yourself or suicide.
If you think you have depression, contact your doctor and/or a psychotherapist, or review resources here: https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/help-for-depres...

(i am not a doctor)

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#169

Post by jackbravo »

matthewheath wrote: post #139
jackbravo wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hi! I'm happy to chat if you like! I agree that meeting people is hard, it felt easier when then internet was younger. I'm jackbravo on twitter or linkedin. Also, you won't know if the bridge is really burned until you try to use it.

She doesn't reply to any of my emails or Slack messages :-)

Hahaha, well, indeed. Time to search elsewhere.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#170

Post by PascLeRasc »

kortex wrote: post #146

Yep. But surprisingly not as bad as I expected, given COVID, and ADHD+bipolar going into this mess. I've been reeeally depressed in the past, this isn't that. But feeling very burned out. Focus and working memory is really suffering. I'm too busy/tired to be bored but I feel novelty-deprived. I'm barely exercising and I know that's contributing but forming exercise habits is hard for me. Would be great actually if an…

Check out pre-workout with Beta Alanine. When I've taken it I can "feel" my muscles more while lifting, it's fantastic. Really helps you get more out of your workout and get into your rhythm in the gym.

I used this one. It tastes kinda bad but whatever: https://www.amazon.com/Genius-Pre-Workout-Powder-Preworkout/...

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