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I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

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Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#161

Post by 908087 »

ilikehurdles wrote: post #102
scott_s wrote: post #44

Kids realizing they already have an online presence made by the people who were teaching them about being responsible about their online presence is becoming A Thing. Two other stories with similar circumstances: "When Kids Realize Their Whole Life Is Already Online" https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2019/02/when-... "My daughter asked me to stop writing about motherhood. Here’s why I can’t do that." htt…

That Washington post author is quite the narcisstic scumbag. I feel disgusted reading the writing of someone so extremely self-absorbed.

Hopefully her daughter pays it forward by becoming a writer who blogs about her experiences as the daughter of a sociopathic narcissist.

"I can't stop writing about you mom. Your attempt to 'amputate parts of my experience' feels abusive to our relationship."

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#162

Post by dangravell »

kbenson wrote: post #140
gringoDan wrote: post #15

I sympathize with this perspective. I too would be livid and mortified if my family shared embarrassing photos of me in exchange for the quick dopamine hit that validation from acquaintances provides. I'm hopeful that in the next several years there is a pushback against social media and the idea that for an experience to be valid, it must be shared. There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you…

> There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you pull out a couple of times a year to show a select group of others. It makes the experience much more valuable than blasting out content for everyone to see. While I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment, and mostly agree with the idea, a part of me sees that only as a change in scale. As someone that doesn't really partake in social media sharin…

Scale has a multiplicative (maybe even compounding in a viral network) effect. Therefore usability * scale means scale itself is part of the problem, if not the underlying one.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#163

Post by nuna »

I share most videos and pics to a family chat group but after reading this I went back and checked there were no embarrassing photos. Also just by posting, even to a private group, who knows if the images and videos are kept forever (whatsapp, instagram, snapchat)

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#164

Post by tomjen3 »

aglavine wrote: post #65
DoreenMichele wrote: post #39

I cannot imagine posting so much about a child of mine without them being aware of it at all. I talk a lot about my sons. They know. If I feel it is a story with sensitive information, I run it past them to see if they are okay with me saying that. I can't really comprehend the thinking here of the family members who did this. They talk about her but not to her? That's the opposite of "social" behavior. That's treati…

This. She've never seen his mom's Facebook profile in 14 years? It seems fake.

I am not friends with my family on Facebook. I will not be that until Zuck gets it through his scull that people need more than one identity, and Facebook implements it so that I can keep things 100% separated.

As such I don't think I have seen either of my family members Facebooks, except if I accidentally glance in the direction of their phones.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#165

Post by coldtea »

908087 wrote: post #85
koboll wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Okay. Well then parents can go through and delete photos their kids want removed from Facebook. If the parent's Facebook is private, that'll probably be the end of that. Since I'm perfectly willing to do this for my child once they're old enough to form opinions about their own privacy, I don't see the problem with sharing photos of them to my private network while they aren't.

Yes, I'm sure "I'll delete it now if you want" will completely negate any feelings they have about the fact that you've already broadcast those things to hundreds or thousands of people (and a massive advertising corporation that thrives on the exploitation of personal information) for the last 14 years. "The horses escaped. Quick, close the barn door!"

>will completely negate any feelings they have

It's not like all feelings are a big deal. People also get "feelings" about stupid stuff. Teenagers doubly so.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#166

Post by coldtea »

karangoeluw wrote: post #26
coldtea wrote: post #20

> When I saw the pictures that she had been posting on Facebook for years, I felt utterly embarrassed, and deeply betrayed. Well, that's because you're 13, the age when kids turn blase and embarrassed about being kids, and of the childish things they used to like. It's not like her mother did anything specially wrong, e.g. posting the letter to the tooth fairy, and so on. It's only embarrassing to her because she's 1…

Just because your wound will get better tomorrow doesn't mean the pain today is invalid

No, but just because there's a pain, it doesn't mean it's important, or something should be done about it.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#167

Post by ThinkBad »

LeonM wrote: post #61
MattBearman wrote: post #6

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

I applaud you. My sister had a baby last year, and she's been posting and sharing photos and videos non-stop. Recently she asked me if I knew if hackers could break into baby monitor because she was worried some hacker may spy on her sleeping baby... I had a good laugh first, then I felt sad for her.

IIRC I believe some IOT baby monitors have been shown to have security vulnerabilities.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#168

Post by naniwaduni »

basch wrote: post #150
rhn_mk1 wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The internet from 10 years ago was also less likely to remember everything you do forever. Messaging between friends happened using services that didn't save conversation history server side, public chat rooms including IRC were rarely logged, blog posts had a minimal reach, and were largely pseudonymous anyway, making the connection with a real person more difficult. Perhaps this kind of lack of consequences drove p…

are all your gmail and facebook messages from 10 years ago not still available? I think youd have to go back more than 15 years to get to services where communications are now faded.

Not everything was conducted over gmail or facebook messages.

(This is still true, in fact.)

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#169

Post by hopler »

gringoDan wrote: post #15

I sympathize with this perspective. I too would be livid and mortified if my family shared embarrassing photos of me in exchange for the quick dopamine hit that validation from acquaintances provides. I'm hopeful that in the next several years there is a pushback against social media and the idea that for an experience to be valid, it must be shared. There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you…

The reason infants have ever survives is that their parents get dopamine fixes. I wouldn't knock it too hard.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#170

Post by ThinkBad »

dwild wrote: post #159

As much as I want to believe it's a good thing for a kid to be away from social media, there doesn't seems to be any compelling argument for it in that article. It seems like fear is her only justification, which to me if anything, is the worse reason to do anything. Being aware of the risk and mitigating it when necessary is the right way to do it, instead of simply letting fear control us. The strange thing is that…

Maintaining a circle of friends is a pretty weak justification for social media use. Many of my friends and I don't use social media at all and we have zero issues coordinating events. It sounds like the real issue is that you didn't value the connection to your friend enough to reach out to them. SMS and phone calls are still a thing.
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