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I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

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Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#161

Post by macNchz »

heartbreak wrote: post #141
macNchz wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's no real difference in that situation, but people don't generally read paperback books when out to dinner with friends, while driving on the highway, while walking on a crowded sidewalk, during a movie at the theater, during class at school or in a meeting at work... which are all common situations where I regularly see people glued to their phones.

Why do you assume that people are wasting their time when they’re on their phones?

I wasn't necessarily implying that what people are doing on their phones in those various situations is a waste of time, but trying to showcase the sheer distractive power of smartphones vs traditional media.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#162

Post by yitchelle »

forinti wrote: post #23
citizenkeen wrote: post #7

'One of my favorite things you can do is plan a “device-free dinner.”' _A_ device free dinner? Why aren't all of them? These weird little "small gestures" make me feel like people have lost control of their homes. We have a landline expressly to give out to emergency contacts. And dinner is tech free. Every night. I think the main problem is tech has made everything _else_ easier, but parenting harder, and parents ju…

All my family's meals are device-free. My kids don't even question it: they turn the TV off themselves when we call them. We have one TV in the house and it can't be turned on in the morning. The kids don't seem to suffer at all.

> ... it can't be turned on in the morning.

How are you doing this? I have been for a solution to this for the last few months but nothing really came up. TIA.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#163

Post by bdamm »

AndrewUnmuted wrote: post #149
careersuicide wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this is the one thing about technology I'm old fashioned about (I roll my eyes hard when people say stuff like "You should delete your Facebook account, you'll be better off."). If I'm eating food with someone else the phone goes away. The only exception is if in the course of conversation an easily googleable question is asked and both the other person/people and I are actually interested in the answer inste…

I deleted my Facebook account two years ago, and I am much happier as a result.

I haven't logged on to Facebook since March, and frankly I don't miss it. I'm not happier since I've instead filled that time with vapid alternatives such as HN.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#164

Post by fgjjgutjvnu »

telesilla wrote: post #2

The hardest thing for me has been young children begging, just begging, for screen time. It's heartbreaking and I know very few parents who have managed to make no mean no. I grew up watching TV but then, TV was mostly for adults and I only paid attention those few hours it was child-friendly. I spent almost the entire decade of the 90s without a television, only going to the movies or the occasional VHS. Even today,…

The irony is that the kids seem to focus on the screen for a very long time, while we worry about their attention span.

I think a lot also depends on the content.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#165

Post by Noos »

"As its use has proliferated, so has its effects...

...the interviewer, apparently, asks young people (age 18 to 22 years old) the following: whether men with the (device hidden) are human or not; whether they are losing contact with reality; whether the relation between eyes and ears is changing radically, whether they are psychotic or schizophrenic; whether they are worried about the fate of humanity."

Can you guess the device? It's the Sony Walkman, and the time is the 1980s.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walkman_effect

The arguments aren't new or novel. Hosoda was saying similar in the 1980s, and the Walkman just as easily isolated people in the 1980s as phones do now. yet somehow humanity survived.

Remember pagers? They were the device of choice in the 1990s for kids, and they were pilloried just as bad, and even linked to drugs. There's a pretty decent history of people panicking morally about new technologies and their dehumanizing effects, and generally people have adapted more or less fine.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#166

Post by avip »

citizenkeen wrote: post #7

'One of my favorite things you can do is plan a “device-free dinner.”' _A_ device free dinner? Why aren't all of them? These weird little "small gestures" make me feel like people have lost control of their homes. We have a landline expressly to give out to emergency contacts. And dinner is tech free. Every night. I think the main problem is tech has made everything _else_ easier, but parenting harder, and parents ju…

You nailed it. The problem is not "kids with Tech". The problem is parents giving away their attention to "a device" instead of "a child". And make no mistakes - it is instead of.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#167

Post by patejam »

artursapek wrote: post #15

For people like me who think smart phones ruin everything, I suggest looking into Waldorf education for your kids. Smart phones are banned at the school (until high school) and screen-oriented media (phones, TV, movies) are strongly discouraged outside of school. In my opinion the system attracts really interesting adults and kids who still know how to enjoy life the old fashioned way.

Do you see no benefit in knowing pop culture? It's hugely important for socializing in the real world, and socializing is one of the main points of life.

I'd even say I was stunted socially early on for not participating in much pop culture. Sports and music were important even all the way back in elementary school.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#168

Post by rlglwx »

Noos wrote: post #165

"As its use has proliferated, so has its effects... ...the interviewer, apparently, asks young people (age 18 to 22 years old) the following: whether men with the (device hidden) are human or not; whether they are losing contact with reality; whether the relation between eyes and ears is changing radically, whether they are psychotic or schizophrenic; whether they are worried about the fate of humanity." Can you gues…

But maybe we have lost something also. As a truly social species, do we not lose as a society when barriers are erected to sociability? The literature certainly points to increased social isolation among adults and children. It also makes the point that loneliness is a risk factor in things like dementia, being overweight and a litany of other ailments. I reject the notion that anything new is automatically better and has only net positive effects.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#170

Post by joshribakoff »

imchillyb wrote: post #66
joshribakoff wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> children are like any other animal Yeah, raising kids is just like owning a gerbil. Exactly.

@joshribakoff, you're being disingenuous. You left out the important part of that quote: > they need to be raised deliberately. if you spoil a dog, and dont train it, what kind of dog do you wind up with? what kind of people do you end up with when they are sucked into ipads while still in a stroller, and they are sent to schools that are little more than zoos being overseen by air-headed sorority girls? That is succ…

Disciplining a kid like they are a dog just feels like a marginal step up from corporal punishment. Instead I believe in a more empathetic approach. I can teach a kid why its dangerous to walk into the street, no so with a dog, which can only learn via positive & negative associations, without understanding or communicating the reason why. A gold fish can be trained to swim through a hoop by giving a treat. A kid has more complex emotions & thought process. Also discipline is not the only principle you want to teach a kid. What about creativity? Self expression? If a 9 year old wants to write his own mine craft mod, I don't care if he is on his ipad at dinner time. Cultural change is inevitable why fight it. My parents gave me electronics kits, knex, lego mindstorms, I was programming at 12yrs old. I grew up a productive member of society. If your kids on their ipad too much maybe delete angry birds & install a math/learning game instead.
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