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I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

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11–20 of 388 posts

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#11
My cousin has a no tv policy in his home. The parents do watch tv but not in the presence of their 3 year old boy. They'd rather take the kid to play with other kids or swimming.

This won't last, sure. But by the time the kid grows up to start making demands, he'll hopefully already be more invested in his current activities and find solace in swimming.

I really don't want kids around me growing up to become unsocialized video game geniuses.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#12
post #4

It's a level-headed article. Parenting, like almost nothing else, turns normal, intelligent, educated people into nutters. A rational, evidence-based conversation about screen time, breastfeeding, pregnancy, birth, education, and diet is increasingly impossible to have, especially with millennial parents. I just got my four year old an iPhone (with a data plan, because she realized she didn't have wifi in the car). I…

My wife is a pediatric OT and she no longer sees children 6 and under whose parents give them an electronic device. She's on the front lines and says those kids are just... rough. Anecdotal, yes, but it's just not worth her time / money.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#13
post #8

The hardest thing for me has been young children begging, just begging, for screen time. It's heartbreaking and I know very few parents who have managed to make no mean no. I grew up watching TV but then, TV was mostly for adults and I only paid attention those few hours it was child-friendly. I spent almost the entire decade of the 90s without a television, only going to the movies or the occasional VHS. Even today,…

Well, if kids really want anything be sweets, a toy or more screen time they will beg. That's kid's nature ;) It's the parents job to be firm and establish some limits, making sure they are respected.

I think OP meant to say just like kids beg for chocolates which they crave for, they also beg for Screen time (which seems to be a bad addiction for someone who's a kid) that also shows how much screen time as an addiction or interest has penetration through that age group.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#14

The hardest thing for me has been young children begging, just begging, for screen time. It's heartbreaking and I know very few parents who have managed to make no mean no. I grew up watching TV but then, TV was mostly for adults and I only paid attention those few hours it was child-friendly. I spent almost the entire decade of the 90s without a television, only going to the movies or the occasional VHS. Even today,…

Thats what happens when you put all their social validation on a small device.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#15
For people like me who think smart phones ruin everything, I suggest looking into Waldorf education for your kids. Smart phones are banned at the school (until high school) and screen-oriented media (phones, TV, movies) are strongly discouraged outside of school. In my opinion the system attracts really interesting adults and kids who still know how to enjoy life the old fashioned way.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#16
One of the things I'm most thankful for is the fact that I grew up before cell phones were ubiquitous. And I honestly feel awful for children today, because they're all the unwitting subjects of a cruel experiment: What happens when you give people access to everything from birth?

Knowing how much self-control it takes for me to resist social media, Reddit, games, etc. I can't even imagine what it's like for children. Many of them are probably being ruined by smartphones, but we won't realize until it's too late, like the kids in China who are all myopic because they spent too much time indoors.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#17
post #4

It's a level-headed article. Parenting, like almost nothing else, turns normal, intelligent, educated people into nutters. A rational, evidence-based conversation about screen time, breastfeeding, pregnancy, birth, education, and diet is increasingly impossible to have, especially with millennial parents. I just got my four year old an iPhone (with a data plan, because she realized she didn't have wifi in the car). I…

You're doing your daughter a disservice.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#18

'One of my favorite things you can do is plan a “device-free dinner.”' _A_ device free dinner? Why aren't all of them? These weird little "small gestures" make me feel like people have lost control of their homes. We have a landline expressly to give out to emergency contacts. And dinner is tech free. Every night. I think the main problem is tech has made everything _else_ easier, but parenting harder, and parents ju…

I think this is the one thing about technology I'm old fashioned about (I roll my eyes hard when people say stuff like "You should delete your Facebook account, you'll be better off."). If I'm eating food with someone else the phone goes away. The only exception is if in the course of conversation an easily googleable question is asked and both the other person/people and I are actually interested in the answer instead of just guessing. But after that the phone goes right back in my pocket. It's not a hard rule, but it's one I do make a conscious effort to follow.

I've noticed that others are a lot less likely to pull out their phones and stare while at the table if I don't do it myself. There's just something kinda sad to me when I see couples at a niceish restaurant and neither person is talking and both are looking at Facebook or Twitter and there's still food on their plates. I know you can't extrapolate that to a person's entire relationship, but it just seems kinda... unfortunate I guess.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#19

The hardest thing for me has been young children begging, just begging, for screen time. It's heartbreaking and I know very few parents who have managed to make no mean no. I grew up watching TV but then, TV was mostly for adults and I only paid attention those few hours it was child-friendly. I spent almost the entire decade of the 90s without a television, only going to the movies or the occasional VHS. Even today,…

Thats what happens when you put all their social validation on a small device.

[deleted]

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#20

The hardest thing for me has been young children begging, just begging, for screen time. It's heartbreaking and I know very few parents who have managed to make no mean no. I grew up watching TV but then, TV was mostly for adults and I only paid attention those few hours it was child-friendly. I spent almost the entire decade of the 90s without a television, only going to the movies or the occasional VHS. Even today,…

I spent a lot of the decade of the 90s having the best times of my life immersing myself in video games and the Internet, and looking back it seems to me like I'm the better for it. I think it should rightfully be heartbreaking to deny that to a kid who would have it.
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