> I dream about doing my own thing or retiring early to do other projects. It is probably human to always want more.
So tell your company that you're leaving them for a while to spend time with your family. Go do stuff and see if you can find what's important to you.
Leave on good terms, wrap up any projects, in the hopes they'd have you back in the future. People will 100% understand if you say you want to spend time with young kids, but it can actually be about "retiring early to do other projects".
That's probably the most pragmatic way to satisfy your "why".
> It is probably human to always want more.
I think people are most happy when they are wanting more, ideally striving to be the best at something they care about. Most great artists and athletes are like that.
I have a theory that our employment system hijacks this by providing a small salary for distraction and artificial challenges and rewards for retention.
Many of us learn that we need to "slow down and become happy" once we've achieved enough career challenges. Somehow we should be content in our positions and pay, but paradoxically fearful of unemployment.
If that's the space you occupy, you're simply underfunded and may actually need to "speed up".
Also, if you have children, and you don't want their lives to be difficult, you may want to consider expanding your safety net to include future generations. You may need to really start hustling if you think about your family's long term goals.
> If I knew I could have a job like this ten years ago, I would have thought that's it, the dream.
At the risk of challenging your dreams, it may not be an accident that we are taught to dream of labor.