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Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

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Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#151

Post by core-questions »

AdrianB1 wrote: post #134
core-questions wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This all sounds great, except what do I do with my wife and kids during this time? Vacation is not vacation for those of us with a young family - it's actually more work than being at work is, sometimes. Good work, rewarding, but also severely draining sometimes.

You have a different situation than the person who asked the question, assuming the same answer apply to everyone is a mistake. How it worked for me in a similar situation: parents. I live in a country where families are not completely destroyed, so we had 2 pairs of parents to help with the kids. Taking the wife in vacation is doable and effective.

True, I'm already relying on two sets, in fact. Problem is, we need them so much already that lumping the kids on them entirely for weeks would be just too much. Toddlers, ya know. Lots of energy.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#152

Post by Ididntdothis »

discordance wrote: post #149
Ididntdothis wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Totally agree. Unless you have a lot of money already, having no income adds a new level of stress. The only way I could see this work is to go to a cheap place where money lasts longer. I once did this by staying at a yoga ashram. I could enjoy the time there because I had no expenses

If op is based in Toronto then going somewhere cheap might result in ending up in a spot where you don't know anyone, which would result in isolation. Probably not the best move?

It depends. I get stressed out by people so traveling through Thailand alone for four weeks is very healing for me. Not so much for other’s probably.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#153

Post by taurath »

eq_sd_ wrote: post #123
mzarate06 wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Problem is, after more than a decade I find myself constantly tired and unmotivated for anything. I fear that burnout is starting again... That statement relates to a feeling I have about burnout - I don't believe you fully recover from it. At least in my experience, while I (and others I've discussed this with) recovered by some point, I also felt something was left permanently weakened, in a way that made me incr…

This was how it was for me. I got burnt out coding a lot and studying for interviews (as I'm mostly self taught). I started going to therapy, but got fired after working under an awful manager that I didn't feel comfortable opening up to. Interviewing while unemployed pushed me further into burn out. Coding originally pulled me out of a funk, it gave me something to work at. But now, I feel like I lost so much passio…

Are you actively interested in other things though? I have this problem, but I’m also quite depressed and working on that.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#155

Post by nojvek »

It really depends on your work relationship with your manager and peers. If you have a great manager i’m sure they’ll be understanding enough to balance work responsibilities that you can go through the rough patch without resorting to quitting.

I can only imagine what you’re going through. As others have said, give yourself permission to feel. It’s okay to cry, to be angry (don’t break things tho) to feel like shit, to have a bit of insomnia.

Surround yourself with close friends, be easy on yourself and remember that time heals most wounds.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#156

Post by ramblerman »

As most have suggested quitting without anything else in hand is indeed not a good idea BUT that doesn't mean you should stay at your job.

You need routine, not a job per se.

So if you are financially secure you could consider going to school for a year, and get a degree in something that interests you. It can be a nice reset, while impacting your career and life for the positive.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#157

Post by flexq »

I haven’t read a lot of the comments, but I agree with not quitting your job. Looking for another though, maybe something to look at, at some point. For me a vacation overseas (I choose south east Asia) where there are beautiful beaches and people who like to have a chat, has done me wonders to get me back on track. I forget about the world back home, create new connections (even for a bit), and drop anxiety because the pressure of just being some where so foreign seems to force it out of me. When I get back I always seem to have a new sense of self. I can imagine it wont work for everyone and I could have got lucky on the nice people Ive met, but now I swear by a trip at least once a year for my sanity.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#158

Post by Damian_Z »

Firstly, it's a very positive sign that you're reaching out. That is usually the biggest hurdle. Getting professional help is the first critical step. Connecting with someone who has been through this and come out the other side (and there's thousands out there) is the second. With the greatest respect to others here, I disagree that continuing to go to work is a must. Looking after your health is the priority here, otherwise the ability to go to work might be taken away due to the physical limitations that inevitably come with Burnout. How do I know this? See below. Meanwhile, if you hit me up via email or LinkedIn, Id be MORE than happy to set up a call. If my 5 years experience in managing this proves to be of some value, then I'm happy to give up 30 mins of my time. In the meantime, please take care. https://www.rebuildingburnout.com/about-me

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#160

Post by Damian_Z »

zackmorris wrote: post #66

First of all, good job on taking a mental health break. I was burned out at this time last year and should have asked for a sabbatical, but I thought I could tough it out. I ended up having a falling out with my work and we parted ways. A few thoughts off the top of my head: * Do a health assessment, maybe a physical/checkup, and address any digestive or sleep issues. I had undiagnosed sleep apnea for 10-20 years whi…

This is excellent advice, especially the sleep apnea. Wishing the best of health & happiness.
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