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People Like You More Than You Know

blogs.scientificamerican.com

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Re: People Like You More Than You Know

#151

Post by sobani »

mostlysilent wrote: post #18
finaliteration wrote: post #4

It takes me about 3-4 months of being around someone regularly before I’m convinced that they aren’t constantly annoyed by me and everything that I say. I hide it pretty well. Sartre was on to something with his comments about “the gaze of the Other”.

It takes me about 3-4 months of being around someone regularly before I'm able to hold a conversation that's more than direct answers to direct questions. It's impossible to hide pretty well, or at all really. Everyone I've ever known says something like "you don't talk much, do you" or something equally obvious. I used to wonder if people ask others the obvious "you're fat, aren't you" etc. I've learnt that few peop…

> Everyone I've ever known says something like "you don't talk much, do you" or something equally obvious. I used to wonder if people ask others the obvious "you're fat, aren't you" etc.

Well if someone is fat I don't have to wonder if they're fat, because I annoy them and missed their hints to get lost, or whether they just lost a loved one and are not in the right mood, or because they're a 'strange' creature.

Re: People Like You More Than You Know

#152

Post by glogla »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #145
glogla wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I had an affair in my twenties with a man > No, he absolutely was not in any position whatsoever to say "Oops, sorry. You can move in with me." if his phone call outed me to my husband and resulted in a divorce. > I'm not exaggerating when I say psycho asshole monster. I mean, you had affair. You can only have affair between two people who are the kind of people to cheat on their partner. You should expect him to b…

That's a rather ugly personal attack, which violates HN guidelines. However, for the record, since not everyone will already know all this: A. I've been a member here for over 9 years. My previous handle was Mz. Some of the people asking questions know that I have an established track record here and are familiar with at least some of the following details. B. I was molested for several years as a child and raped at…

I'm sorry I was mean. I wish you the best.

Re: People Like You More Than You Know

#153

Post by shrikant »

x0 wrote: post #80
InitialLastName wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's funny. It takes me about 3-4 months of being around someone regularly before I'm not constantly annoyed by them and everything that they say. I hide it pretty well. I've had to learn the difficult way that my first impression of people is usually not an impression they deserve.

> It takes me about 3-4 months of being around someone regularly before I'm able to hold a conversation that's more than direct answers to direct questions. I had trouble with this for a time, I just tried to take my answers a tiny step further. If someone says "Wow, it's cold outside", instead of just responding with a "Yeah, it is cold", try and add your opinion on it. "Yeah it's cold, I love this weather", or "Yea…

Interesting.

I tried this for a while, then for some reason got really conscious that the over-use of "I" and "me" in the response made me sound too self-absorbed.

So nowadays I'm usually slowly thinking through whether a statement like "Wow, it's cold outside" warrants mere concurrence or greater engagement.

Re: People Like You More Than You Know

#154

Post by LandR »

ListeningPie wrote: post #144
chrisweekly wrote: post #27

This reminds me of the saying, "We're not who we think we are. Nor are we what others think we are. Rather, we are who we think others think we are."

The quote is also further up the thread and I'm repeating my comment, but how do you interpret the last line of the quote. The first line is how I see myself, the second how you see me, then from who's perspective is the last line?

It's confusing isn't it... I think it's you will become the person you think other people think you are?

Like you might not be an asshole, people might not think you are an asshole but if you believe that people think you are an asshole you will become an asshole.

Re: People Like You More Than You Know

#155

Post by Moodles »

jacobush wrote: post #149
Moodles wrote: post #139

Also not wishing to brag. The craziest example of this I can think of from my own life is that during one particularly crazy house party during my graduate days I ended up super drunk and waking up in this girl’s bed the next morning. When I was sober I regretted it quite massively. But the morning was horrible. She said how she had liked me for ages and how everyone thinks I’m this great guy but I don’t even know it…

Interesting that you felt horrible despite her saying she really liked you. There's a lot going on in the mind.

Well I felt horrible because I was toying with her feelings a bit since I didn't feel the same way (plus my massive hangover).

Re: People Like You More Than You Know

#156

Post by akvadrako »

grecht wrote: post #138
toxik wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think there are pretty obvious difficulties with telling coworkers you’ve a crush on them.

I think you got that wrong, he didn't say they were coworkers. But sure, that'd be very different.

No it wouldn't.

Re: People Like You More Than You Know

#157

Post by circlefavshape »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #127
thecatspaw wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd be happy to hear it. You too

I have two special needs sons and I've done all kinds of therapy and what not. So kind of randomly: Nutritional supplements actually have a better track record than drugs for dealing with things like ADHD. If you can pinpoint the things that you need for your brain, you can see real improvement over time. B vitamins, high quality salt, the right fats and certain minerals, like magnesium and calcium, are likely candid…

> I point blank asked men what they thought was attractive about me ... every one of them had a different answer

> Most people don't really have a clear idea of what they look like

Wow! I had no idea about this, that's super interesting

Re: People Like You More Than You Know

#158

Post by chrisweekly »

ListeningPie wrote: post #144
chrisweekly wrote: post #27

This reminds me of the saying, "We're not who we think we are. Nor are we what others think we are. Rather, we are who we think others think we are."

The quote is also further up the thread and I'm repeating my comment, but how do you interpret the last line of the quote. The first line is how I see myself, the second how you see me, then from who's perspective is the last line?

1. how I see myself 2. how everyone else sees me 3. how I _imagine_ everyone else sees me

Re: People Like You More Than You Know

#159

Post by GhostVII »

watt wrote: post #111
GhostVII wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I quite like gits user experience, personally. If you don't like it, there are lots of tools built on top of it that make it easier to use. Not sure what the issue is.

Git could be a showcase of inconsistent and confusing UX. If you like it, and you don't see any issue with it, then you know nothing about good UX.

I never said it was good UX in general, just that it is good UX for me. And with tools like git one you learn the commands the UX doesn't matter. For a developer tool I think that is fine.

Re: People Like You More Than You Know

#160

Post by [deleted] »

mehrdadn wrote: post #109
sureaboutthis wrote: post #23

These are true stories. I don't wish to come across as bragging. The last day of a job I had for seven years, the director of engineering told me I was the best engineer he ever knew. And he worked for some pretty well known engineering firms. If he had told me that before, I might not have left. A woman came into my office--someone who didn't seem to want to give me the time of day--and the conversation got around t…

Reminds me of a video I saw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iqq1roF4C8s

[deleted]
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