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Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

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Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#151

Post by throwaway84742 »

justatdotin wrote: post #148
throwaway84742 wrote: post #30

Why is this article about women? Men suffer from it just the same. There seems to be this perception that men are somehow immune to the various work related shit. That’s not the case at all. The best fix I’ve been able to find is to note and recall significant achievements: delivering projects, getting promoted, getting hired by top companies in the field, graduating with honors from one of the top schools. Think rat…

why not be about women? The article also has a paragraph asserting that men also share this experience.

I explained why: to not create a harmful stereotype that women are the only ones affected, or even more affected by it than men. Why must everything be about identity politics?

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#152

Post by k__ »

I have the feeling 90% of people who think they have imposter syndrome are just bad at what they do.

Just because you work with people who are even wors doesn't make you good.

And just because people who are worse than you act like they not doesn't make you better either.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#153

Post by soVeryTired »

matte_black wrote: post #140
nambit wrote: post #133

What's the opposite? I feel like I'm smarter than everybody else here (big 5 tech). Including Principal engineers, CEOs and VPs. I'll talk to some random engineer who might impress me once in a while but for the most part, there's a lot of smart people but there's a lot of dumb people. I consider myself near the top. I know this might feel like /r/iamverysmart but I'm self aware enough to know that what I feel is not…

Prove it and erase the doubt once and for all. Too many people try not to feel superior but secretly feel deep down if they tried to prove it they would come out superior, and so they keep a subconscious sense of superiority under a veil of humility. You will either discover you were not as great as you thought or you actually are the best. There’s no other way.

Exactly. We tend to judge other people by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions.

Similarly, we tend to judge others' intelligence by their achievements, but we judge our own by what we could do.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#154

Post by philbarr »

scandox wrote: post #143
philbarr wrote: post #122

Does anyone else get that feeling like, "am I the only one who sees what a load of shit this is?" I don't think it's imposter syndrome per se, but it's related. It's like, "I'm the only one who can see the truth." An example: years ago my old crooked boss brought everyone in to his huge office to tell us why he couldn't afford to give people the pay rise they'd been asking for. With a straight face and with his Aston…

Seems to me this is kind of the opposite of impostor syndrome which is a kind of anxious humility in which we fear that everyone else is smarter and wiser than ourselves. In the case you describe, you are divided between a suspicion that everyone else is an idiot (and you are wise) or that everybody is equally aware, but you've all learned to live the lie.

The absolute worst is when you do point something out, and people laugh and say, "haha! yeah it's always been like that! ha!"

Like - so we should do something about it, right? This thing that would dramatically improve our lives that is really obvious to everyone. Shouldn't we do it?

Turns out, nope. It's always been like that.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#155

Post by giancarlostoro »

antyph wrote: post #104

I had it for most of my career until I realized that I should trust the opinion of the people who employed me. They had read my CV, marked my tests, interviewed me repeatedly and decided they liked me and trusted my abilites, so I should too. Sure, in my mind I'm not as good as hundreds of brilliant people I look up to, but that's ok. It's not about being on a linear scale, it's about fitting a niche.

This is great advise, I also find talking to the right people about doubts helps too, we all get trapped by our doubts, and it's up to us to free ourselves from those doubts, but sometimes you need to hear from someone else that it's all just a mirage and you were never really trapped to push forward.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#157

Post by majewsky »

kabouseng wrote: post #45
maxxxxx wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would go for pair programming.

The danger with pair programming is you easily get a partner who sees the activity as a competitive exercise / dick measuring activity* , and some engineers find enjoyment in proving to everyone else (including new hires) their superiority. *excuse my language, but it is the most accurate description I could come up with.

That's actually another reason why pair programming is good: The interview is just as much a signal to the candidate as it is to the employer. If the developer he's pair-programming with is a douche, it's a good sign for the candidate to run and not look back.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#158

Post by alexquez »

I've been in software for 14 years without a computer science degree and carry a chip on my shoulder because I missed out on algorithms and compilers in school. I'm mostly self-taught and have had the opportunity to run a SAAS company for six years now (CodePen).

I'm winging it like many other people in our industry. I wish I'd had two things to when I started my career.

1. A right of passage that endorsed my skills as a competent developer (or that educated me on what skills I'd yet to learn).

Something equivalent to what doctors have when they receive a medical license and become board certified.

After five years on the job, no one cares about your cute degree but the 21-year-old version of me who knew nothing and was a tiny bit terrified of being found incompetent cared.

You are born with a level of confidence (unsubstantiated and unproven), but you can also earn it by doing a substantial amount of work.

A right of passage within the software industry that showed a fundamental level of competency beyond the fizz-buzz test would've worked wonders for the young me.

2. A formal mentor.

I spent years flailing within technology. I learned the wrong things, dove deep into the wrong technology (Java Swing :|) and made obvious mistakes. In retrospect, I would have paid to work for a capable mentor when I started who could have validated my work and guided my efforts.

Alas, software development is free, unregulated and open to all. That is what makes it beautiful. That is what makes it frustrating.

Re: Is there a fix for impostor syndrome?

#160

Post by 3pt14159 »

nambit wrote: post #133

What's the opposite? I feel like I'm smarter than everybody else here (big 5 tech). Including Principal engineers, CEOs and VPs. I'll talk to some random engineer who might impress me once in a while but for the most part, there's a lot of smart people but there's a lot of dumb people. I consider myself near the top. I know this might feel like /r/iamverysmart but I'm self aware enough to know that what I feel is not…

File a non-BS patent for something you invent and see it awarded. Found a $100m corporation. Win a nobel prize. Become a household name author.

Smart is a spectrum and ego is the enemy if your goal is true greatness. Otherwise you’re just going to be stuck feeling smug that you’re in the 1% when there is this whole other level you could be operating in if you stopped feeling so good about yourself.

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