I don't see how I have misunderstood you, eg:
"The reason Sequoia is such a good deal is that the percentage of the company they take is artificially low. They don't even try to get market price for their investment; they limit their holdings to leave the founders enough stock to feel the company is still theirs."
If Sequoia took ordinary stock for their money that argument would have some legs. But otherwise, it is self-serving (for the VCs). Once you take their money at valuation X, liquidation preferences and control clauses guarantee that you're not getting anything until the company is worth at least 10X. It doesn't matter whether the founders still have 95%, they've given up control over the outcome that matters to them.
Angels are a different story. I have angel investors myself, carefully chosen, and with a term sheet that is much fairer than anything you'll get from VCs (they can't screw me; I can't screw them).
I used to have some deference for VCs, but after hearing their self-serving arguments and witnessing their arrogance for years, I don't waste my time (being profitable also helps).
Don't get me wrong, we could grow faster with VC money, and I'd do it on the right terms. But these days, if a VC contacts me I always ask them within the first 2 minutes whether they'd invest on similar terms to the existing angels. The answer is always "no". They never have a good response to the obvious question: "how do your terms make sense for a founder?".
As for language, I apologise. I have not used the expression "self-serving tripe" in person with a VC, but I've been close. They need to hear it sometimes.