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Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

washingtonpost.com

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Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#141

Post by gfarah »

EE84M3i wrote: post #92

I live in a big city, but I'm terribly lonely. - I live alone. - I work hybrid, but when I go into the office, it's more or less empty and I spend all my time on zoom calls. - My family lives far away. - I'm single. Most weeks, my only social interaction is at the local bar, where I'm a regular, or various dates from apps. Excesses of both of these is unhealthy in different ways. I've been pushing myself to go to mee…

Two ideas for you to consider: 1. If you can, get a dog, it will force you to socialize, plus they will keep you company when it's just the two of you. 2. If you can, do one year remote in a traditionally friendly society. E.g I have a friend in Medellín, Colombia. 50% of her apartment building are expats, they do stuff all the time.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#143

Post by fleddr »

EE84M3i wrote: post #92

I live in a big city, but I'm terribly lonely. - I live alone. - I work hybrid, but when I go into the office, it's more or less empty and I spend all my time on zoom calls. - My family lives far away. - I'm single. Most weeks, my only social interaction is at the local bar, where I'm a regular, or various dates from apps. Excesses of both of these is unhealthy in different ways. I've been pushing myself to go to mee…

Try volunteer work, for example at an animal shelter.

Where meeting new people is hard and you may feel that you're intruding, the opposite is true for volunteer work. By design they need you, accept you and embrace you.

Don't overthink it. Do it.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#144

Post by TeMPOraL »

clownworldclown wrote: post #51
naikrovek wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

it is an accurate world view, in my experience. friends and partners are in no way worth it. I lose every time and the pain is too much. how everyone does it is unknown to me. life isn't just hell, it's torture. noting gained and constant emotional pain.

they do it through a lot of medication and anesthetics and sedatives that get them through the day

Not sure if you mean it seriously or not. Not even sure to what degree this is accurate, but definitely to some, because coffee is probably[0] most common form of self-medication on the planet, followed by cigarettes, and then alcohol and weed are two well-known anesthetics and sedatives.

It's somewhat common view that coffee is the one legal performance drug almost everyone uses to keep up with their job demands, but it's less recognized that it can - and likely is - used to cope with other people. Alcohol is definitely used for the latter.

----

[0] - Feels obviously true, by a far margin, but the world is big and I haven't exactly done a study.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#145

Post by FooHentai »

A4ET8a8uTh0 wrote: post #140
UweSchmidt wrote: post #125

The fundamental force behind this is individualism. Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Every societal change has emphasized the individual right over the (real or perceived) benefit of the collective. This trend seems to accelerate and absolutely nothing that is happening in western society even remotely suggests a possible turnaround. You can take ac…

I am posting this as a person born and raised in a rather small community. I personally do not yearn for the good old days when 'everyone knew everyone' and there were things to do together. We did things together, because of geographical convenience and random chance. We had no other options so we did kids things. Granted, I was lucky to be included in that particular group, because they all were much, much smarter…

Perhaps. But what are the long-term ramifications of continuing down this track? Does a society of individuals with low cohesion survive in the long run? What motivations to pull together and overcome any adversity that might come along exists? Is it worth it for a few generations of improved individual freedom, if that society doesn't hold together longer than that due to a lack of cohesion?

“A house divided against itself cannot stand.” — Abraham Lincoln.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#146

Post by janeerie »

A4ET8a8uTh0 wrote: post #140
UweSchmidt wrote: post #125

The fundamental force behind this is individualism. Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Every societal change has emphasized the individual right over the (real or perceived) benefit of the collective. This trend seems to accelerate and absolutely nothing that is happening in western society even remotely suggests a possible turnaround. You can take ac…

I am posting this as a person born and raised in a rather small community. I personally do not yearn for the good old days when 'everyone knew everyone' and there were things to do together. We did things together, because of geographical convenience and random chance. We had no other options so we did kids things. Granted, I was lucky to be included in that particular group, because they all were much, much smarter…

I have come to believe that social interaction is like exercising or eating your vegetables. Some people naturally enjoy it; some people don’t. Either way, you will be a healthier person if you do it.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#147

Post by seydor »

NaOH wrote: post #138
UweSchmidt wrote: post #125

The fundamental force behind this is individualism. Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Every societal change has emphasized the individual right over the (real or perceived) benefit of the collective. This trend seems to accelerate and absolutely nothing that is happening in western society even remotely suggests a possible turnaround. You can take ac…

>The fundamental force behind this is individualism. Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Every societal change has emphasized the individual right over the (real or perceived) benefit of the collective. This trend seems to accelerate and absolutely nothing that is happening in western society even remotely suggests a possible turnaround. I've long capt…

I m somewhat surprised that big cities still exist and people aren't killing each other or run away

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#148

Post by dangus »

UweSchmidt wrote: post #125

The fundamental force behind this is individualism. Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Every societal change has emphasized the individual right over the (real or perceived) benefit of the collective. This trend seems to accelerate and absolutely nothing that is happening in western society even remotely suggests a possible turnaround. You can take ac…

I think this analysis, and the analysis of the opinion article, jumps to too many conclusions.

This article says that the trend has started since 2013. In what way has American individualism changed since then? I would say it hasn't. How could American culture shift that much in less than 10 years in this specific span? I don't buy that explanation without more thorough study.

American individualism has existed far longer than the data in this article. We've been sitting in cars by ourselves since the mid-century. I am most skeptical about easy and simple explanations like the one you're describing.

For one thing, I'm looking through the data and I'm struggling to find the data that the chart is representing: https://www.bls.gov/tus/database/tustabs.htm

Is anyone else able to find it?

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#149

Post by closeparen »

UweSchmidt wrote: post #125

The fundamental force behind this is individualism. Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Every societal change has emphasized the individual right over the (real or perceived) benefit of the collective. This trend seems to accelerate and absolutely nothing that is happening in western society even remotely suggests a possible turnaround. You can take ac…

>Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone

This sounds deep and wise in the abstract, but I think it's important that we're talking about is, like, because there are washing machines now, you can show up places looking presentable without there being a woman in your home dedicated to washing your clothes all the time.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#150

Post by seydor »

A4ET8a8uTh0 wrote: post #140
UweSchmidt wrote: post #125

The fundamental force behind this is individualism. Every single technological innovation has made it easier for the individual to function better alone. Every societal change has emphasized the individual right over the (real or perceived) benefit of the collective. This trend seems to accelerate and absolutely nothing that is happening in western society even remotely suggests a possible turnaround. You can take ac…

I am posting this as a person born and raised in a rather small community. I personally do not yearn for the good old days when 'everyone knew everyone' and there were things to do together. We did things together, because of geographical convenience and random chance. We had no other options so we did kids things. Granted, I was lucky to be included in that particular group, because they all were much, much smarter…

everyone can learn to love their current situation. we are very adaptible species, but lack of interaction is also lack of opportunity and experience - sensory experience.

being guarded against strangers is a somewhat ingraned fear. but there is value to overcoming the fear , or at least it s worth knowing whether there is value.

somtimes the journey is worth more than the destination. surely it's great that we can travel faster in life and break barriers, but it often leads to lonely destinations which feel very meaningless.

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