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Myths About Introverts

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Re: Myths About Introverts

#141

Post by Psyonic »

mcantor wrote: post #108
scythe wrote: post #86

Why do we need this silly choice between being an 'introvert' and being an 'extrovert' and some fifty-cent words to hang around our necks with some attached activities we're supposed to like or dislike? I joke about how awesome it is to be "ENTP", but I don't really take that shit seriously . This whole "*-trovert" obsession drives people away from understanding conversation because they try to categorize it solely a…

It reminds me of the "alpha male/beta male" thing that leaks out of 4chan occasionally. Sometimes it's just not as easy as one or the other!

alpha/beta has gone much bigger than 4chan. I don't have the links on hand, but I've seen it in serious publications recently.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#142

Post by Psyonic »

datruth29 wrote: post #89
hugh3 wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree, it seems to me that "introversion" and "poorly developed social skills and/or low confidence" are often confused with one another. We all know that there's a big overlap between liking something and being good at it, and similarly between being bad at something and disliking it. I used to hate running, until I got to be good at it, at which point I started liking it. It's the same thing with social interacti…

I identify my self as an "introvert", and I would say that I have pretty good social skills. Part of that I work in a school where I have to talk to teachers, students, and administrators all day for hours on end. Eventually, I just learned how to do it effectively, and I've come to like socializing, especially with interesting people. Which leads me to my point. What I found was that despite me having fun and being…

This is definitely me. I've been much more outgoing and social recently, to the point that people I've met have said "I wish I was as social as you, etc" but after a few weeks of this, I reached a point where I NEEDED a break. I coined it "existentially tired." Physically I was alright, but I needed to spend some time away from others. So I spent a day or two almost entirely alone, and it did wonders for my psyche.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#143

Post by dkarl »

andywood wrote: post #140
dkarl wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are seriously conflating "social anxiety disorder" and "introversion." The idea that a concert would "drain you so much it will be hard to enjoy" or that an introvert would have a tough time interacting with a group long enough to go on a rock climbing trip is essentially saying that an introverted person is somehow handicapped, or pushed to their introversion by a type of mental disorder. Yep, that's exactly my…

You're still doing it. Introversion is not social anxiety. I am categorically an introvert. I do not suffer in the slightest from social anxiety - I'm perfectly comfortable in crowds and most social situations. What you're doing in this comment and the one above is simply displaying ignorance of what introversion means. And just because most laypeople have an inaccurate idea of what the word "introverted" means does…

I'm not ignorant of what you think introversion is. I learned it reading your first comment. Like I said elsewhere, the argument here is about what the word actually means. Jung says introverts experience emotional drain when they're around other people, so by his definition, if you are comfortable being around large groups of people for any length of time, then you are not an introvert. Instead of just insisting that I accept your definition of the word, try persuading me.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#144

Post by jhaddon »

Benjo wrote: post #97

I feel compelled to share my current process of understanding and dealing with my own introversion. Maybe this will resonate with others, maybe not. Where I am right now, it's more important for me to be able to share this than anything else. I ended a relationship recently, partly because we had huge communication issues. Her thoughts were always close to the surface, I tended to think about things for hours before…

"Where was I getting all this energy? I realized that what was draining me wasn't being social, it was being uncomfortable. It was the awkward situations, not social situations in general, that were sapping my energy."

Prior to that quote, you mention studying social skills. You also mention cutting old friends out of your life. Which path had a more drastic affect on you? Was it learning new social skills that made you realize you needed different friends, or did the desire for new friends force you to learn new social skills.

How did you go about learning these new skills?

Re: Myths About Introverts

#145

Post by rokhayakebe »

Psyonic wrote: post #131
rokhayakebe wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ok, so I upvoted you, but maaan do you have it wrong. I am the definition of introversion (to myself, avoid crowds, do not need to chat with everyone at the party, content with silence that others think is awkward, definitely do not want to ever be the center of attention, like to be alone with my thoughts ...) "What, you don't want to go to the Nicki Minaj concert?" "Let me explain. You see, I'm an introvert...." I…

If you can approach girls at a club by yourself, you're not shy. That doesn't make sense. I run marathons, but I'm not athletic. See the contradiction?

No, it's more like "I cannot swim, but if I want to eat I have to get to the other side of the lake".

Re: Myths About Introverts

#146

Post by rokhayakebe »

vibrunazo wrote: post #129
rokhayakebe wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ok, so I upvoted you, but maaan do you have it wrong. I am the definition of introversion (to myself, avoid crowds, do not need to chat with everyone at the party, content with silence that others think is awkward, definitely do not want to ever be the center of attention, like to be alone with my thoughts ...) "What, you don't want to go to the Nicki Minaj concert?" "Let me explain. You see, I'm an introvert...." I…

Don't you think that you're just arguing semantics? There's little objective argument to be made when the two of you have different definitions for the same word. 90% of all disagreements between human beings derive from semantic confusion :)

It could be, but his points are rather extreme, like "If you are introverted, you won't be doing this because it requires other people for you to enjoy it"

Re: Myths About Introverts

#147

Post by reinhardt »

davidcuddeback wrote: post #35
wccrawford wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Actually, you'll find that in some places, it isn't rude to be straightforward and honest. And even blunt. You have to actually start insulting people to be considered 'rude' in those places. Introverts like those places.

Which places are those? Are you talking about geographical locations, or do you mean "places" like in a focus group or an R&D department? If there is a geographical location where the cultural norm is to be straightforward and honest, I would like to visit there to see what it is like.

Sweden: http://temporarystockholmer.blogspot.com/2008/12/swedes-are-...

Re: Myths About Introverts

#148

Post by rokhayakebe »

Goladus wrote: post #133
rokhayakebe wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

* I suppose it's a nice ego-stroke for all the self described introverts* No it isn't. My friend of 8 years, and also my roomate for 4 years told me Sunday I was being rude because he had his friends over and I retreated to my quarters. People just do not understand introversion, so it is good to just send them a link like this.

How do you know that the choice you made is a consequence of introversion and not some other reason? If you can't explain your behavior to your roommate in terms of immediate personal motivations don't expect a generalized explanation to be any more enlightening.

I didn't feel like explaining. I said "sure" and went in. I understand he does not understand me, and that is ok.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#149

Post by Arjuna »

Goladus wrote: post #91
yelsgib wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are seriously conflating "social anxiety disorder" and "introversion." The idea that a concert would "drain you so much it will be hard to enjoy" or that an introvert would have a tough time interacting with a group long enough to go on a rock climbing trip is essentially saying that an introverted person is somehow handicapped, or pushed to their introversion by a type of mental disorder. I identify as an introv…

> I identify as an introvert. But are you an introvert? There's a difference between self-identification and scientific observation.

"But are you an introvert?"

Self-assessment (PDF): http://hiddengiftsoftheintrovertedchild.com/SelfAssessment.p...

Re: Myths About Introverts

#150

Post by andywood »

dkarl wrote: post #143
andywood wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're still doing it. Introversion is not social anxiety. I am categorically an introvert. I do not suffer in the slightest from social anxiety - I'm perfectly comfortable in crowds and most social situations. What you're doing in this comment and the one above is simply displaying ignorance of what introversion means. And just because most laypeople have an inaccurate idea of what the word "introverted" means does…

I'm not ignorant of what you think introversion is. I learned it reading your first comment. Like I said elsewhere, the argument here is about what the word actually means. Jung says introverts experience emotional drain when they're around other people, so by his definition, if you are comfortable being around large groups of people for any length of time, then you are not an introvert. Instead of just insisting tha…

It isn't my definition. There's a fairly coherent consensus view of the salient points of the intro/extra dichotomy. You're distorting it. For example, the first half of your sentence beginning "Jung" is correct, but the second half is gross exaggeration. Other people aren't Kryptonite. That's what's wrong with your top post as well - it's full of exaggeration which misrepresents introversion.

There's been plenty written on the topic, including the linked article, which you seem to reject.

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