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The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

nytimes.com

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Re: The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

#141

Post by asdff »

wonderwonder wrote: post #114
ideonexus wrote: post #5

I didn't realize it until I read this article, but this is what keeps me up at night and motivates me to spend so much time and effort on my children. Making sure my kids are successful adults and maintain the economic lifestyle my programming career currently affords them is why I send them to camps all summer long and martial arts classes in the afternoons to improve their focus. It's why my wife and I spent hours…

I actually just had a conversation with my wife over whether we were over protective. my kids are 7 and under and I don't let them ride bikes on the street without me. Other kids in the neighborhood zoom around all day long without helmets on bikes and scooters and are fine to this point. Many of their parents are also... not great. We agreed that we are probably over protective and that may have a slightly negative…

There were a couple families on my street with kids who disappeared to who knows where when the bank foreclosed their homes, yet these kids were some of my good friends and I had a blast hanging out at their houses. At a certain age, you don't pick up on class, especially if you have kids your age. Accidents can happen at any time, you know. Knowing how I was as a kid, seeing those kids ride freely would only breed contempt.

When I was able to ride my bike well, my dad printed out a street map of our town to give to me and I explored the shit out of everywhere that I could. Naturally, the first thing I did was ride to the municipal pool across town, but it turns out you can't go very far very quickly on a single speed kids bike. That 10-minute car ride to the pool must have been close to an hour on my bike, so I never really rode that far again!

Re: The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

#142

Post by asdff »

toasterlovin wrote: post #75
antisthenes wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well put. I personally would opt out of having a kid if I knew they were going to end up outside of the top 20%. I just don't want that life for them and I'm not sure I can guarantee that they end up in the top percentiles. > The wealth gap in this country is squeezing all the joy out of life for every penny its worth. Every capitalist society needs a periodical wealth tax, otherwise the natural accumulation of wealt…

Geometric increase in population does a pretty good job of eroding the accumulation of wealth.

Doesn't seem to be the case in this century

Re: The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

#143

Post by turtlecloud »

barry-cotter wrote: post #127
darkerside wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, that's upsetting. If I were paranoid, I'd consider whether it were intentional brainwashing designed to perpetuate the superiority of the white race. Of course, I'm not paranoid, so I don't think it's intentional at all. But, I do think it may have that unintended effect.

Oh come on. They’re just doing the traditional American thing of dividing everybody into two groups and acting as if that’s all the important diversity politically. Before the groups were white and black. Now they’re black and not black. NYT reporters read Asians as white in every important sense. http://www2.law.ucla.edu/volokh/asian.htm > Asians are now white. > Don't believe me? A recent MSNBC news headline announ…

I agree. As a former reader of the NYT, it infuriates me how they are portraying different groups in America and playing off the identity game. If the citizens of this country primarily identify as American then the NYT would have nothing to write about /s

The Asian American point is a very interesting thing I too have been following the past few years.

Re: The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

#144

Post by solotronics »

Diederich wrote: post #64
jacobush wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you got the impression they were out to get you, or were you caught in cross fire, or was it more of a "get the fuck away" kind of shooting? Just curious on someone who was there to live it. I just viewed it through the lens of MacGyver episodes from a great distance. :-)

One was a pretty typical (for the time) drive by; someone in my after school youth group wore enough of the wrong color of clothing to catch the eye of the 'other' gang. We just had Saturday game night, and so were walking to Taco Bell for our unofficial after games social. As we stood at a corner waiting for a crosswalk to turn green, two or three gangbangers in a passing car opened fire with fully automatic machine…

I grew up somewhere where many law abiding citizens carry pistols in public. What is your opinion on arming oneself for defense?

Re: The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

#145

Post by EGreg »

solotronics wrote: post #144
Diederich wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One was a pretty typical (for the time) drive by; someone in my after school youth group wore enough of the wrong color of clothing to catch the eye of the 'other' gang. We just had Saturday game night, and so were walking to Taco Bell for our unofficial after games social. As we stood at a corner waiting for a crosswalk to turn green, two or three gangbangers in a passing car opened fire with fully automatic machine…

I grew up somewhere where many law abiding citizens carry pistols in public. What is your opinion on arming oneself for defense?

My opinion is that it’s good in sparsely populated areas and becomes progressively worse as density increases due to the probability of random altercations getting out of hand.

Re: The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

#146

Post by ido »

wonderwonder wrote: post #110
GreeniFi wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Southern Africa (although not South Africa). Just before the end of apartheid, everyone was gearing up for a fight and everyone was pretty angry. Two men talked the region off a precipice, Nelson Mandela, literally a prince of peace (he was a prince). And secondly Desmond Tutu. And maybe the humanity of young men like those we encountered, who could just as well shot us. It happened elsewhere and at other times.

I knew you were going to say South / Southern Africa before I even read your answer. Just the way you described the scenario told me where you were from. Glad everything turned out well for you.

I assumed former Yugoslavia in the 90s.

Re: The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

#147

Post by [deleted] »

turtlecloud wrote: post #143
barry-cotter wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Oh come on. They’re just doing the traditional American thing of dividing everybody into two groups and acting as if that’s all the important diversity politically. Before the groups were white and black. Now they’re black and not black. NYT reporters read Asians as white in every important sense. http://www2.law.ucla.edu/volokh/asian.htm > Asians are now white. > Don't believe me? A recent MSNBC news headline announ…

I agree. As a former reader of the NYT, it infuriates me how they are portraying different groups in America and playing off the identity game. If the citizens of this country primarily identify as American then the NYT would have nothing to write about /s The Asian American point is a very interesting thing I too have been following the past few years.

[deleted]

Re: The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

#148

Post by wasted »

turtlecloud wrote: post #143
barry-cotter wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Oh come on. They’re just doing the traditional American thing of dividing everybody into two groups and acting as if that’s all the important diversity politically. Before the groups were white and black. Now they’re black and not black. NYT reporters read Asians as white in every important sense. http://www2.law.ucla.edu/volokh/asian.htm > Asians are now white. > Don't believe me? A recent MSNBC news headline announ…

I agree. As a former reader of the NYT, it infuriates me how they are portraying different groups in America and playing off the identity game. If the citizens of this country primarily identify as American then the NYT would have nothing to write about /s The Asian American point is a very interesting thing I too have been following the past few years.

[flagged]

Re: The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

#149

Post by skookumchuck »

HarryHirsch wrote: post #132
skookumchuck wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> They simply can't handle the vacuum that opens up in their lives without the micromanagement. Maybe that has something to do with the drift of young adults to the left. They need some other authority to manage their lives.

Say what? Authoritarian politicians are on the right ! Brazil's Jair Bolsonaro isn't a leftist.

Before Obamacare, I had a choice in health insurance providers, and could choose not to buy it. After Obamacare, there is only one insurance provider left in my county, and I am forced to buy it by law.

That's authoritarian.

I'm also paying more than double than before Obamacare.

Re: The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

#150

Post by knight17 »

gdubs wrote: post #13

Ironically we end up creating a ton of anxiety for kids. And unless we’re giving kids the love and tools needed to process that anxiety, well, then we’re missing the forest for the trees. I have three kids under five years old, and man it goes fast. My philosophy has evolved to this: they’re their own people, not extensions of our own ego, and in the limited time we have influence over them we can help them develop c…

"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bow from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrow may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."

- The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran

I got the above from an HN comment on the topic of raising kids. I noted it in my personal wiki and this changed the way I think about this topic.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11006199

Gibran's The Prophet was published in 1923 so it is now (2019) in the public domain in the USA.

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/58585

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