Hey, so first, I might be reading your post wrong, but... it seems like you might want to check out intentional communities; like I think visiting one might be what you are looking for in that sustainable agricultural lifestyle you want?
I just think it's really important to know that there are other people in the world like you, that you fit in somewhere; even if you don't end up living in that place, I personally find it hugely comforting to know there's a place where I fit in. (for me, that place is Silicon Valley. I totally understand that not everyone feels welcome here, but I feel welcome here in a way that I've never felt welcome anywhere else. I think the place like that is different for everyone, and that it's important to find it.) and from reading your post, I think you might find something like that feeling at one of these communes.
I was born here: https://www.eastwindblog.co -
they do a bunch of agriculture related stuff, and have a culture that is also very concerned about sustainability, but that also is interested in automation; they have several agriculture-adjacent businesses, and they grow most of their own food. (I don't know how much food they grow to sell; they certainly process and sell a lot of nut-butters, with a focus on nutbutters for people who need careful separation of types of nuts: https://www.eastwindnutbutters.com ) and, in fact, some of their alumini have gone on to start serious companies: NASDAQ: AGNC
Cat Kincade was involved (though she was more involved with Twin Oaks, a similar commune in Canada) - I mention this because she's a pretty good author, and wrote a lot about her experiences at the commune, so if you want to read up on it before giving it a visit, I'd start with her.
I also know of a bunch of smaller communes that do agriculture on a more hobbyish basis (though still with a focus on sustainability) - I generally think you should check out the big ones, first, but if you are more comfortable with a smaller, more 'large family' sized group, my email should be in my profile and I can do a few introductions, or at least one I can certify as not crazy, who often will take in strangers who have agricultural interests. (I still think a major community like East Wind or Twin Oaks is probably better for long term living...)