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Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

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Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#141

Post by Donzo »

pavlov wrote: post #99
tajen wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, it’s rather devastating for female sanity. It gives them the illusion of choice, and many women build false expectations, feeling that they could settle with any of those Don Juans, which is false. When they hit the wall at 30, they start noticing that the top 10% men keep dating the younger ones, and they’ll never be able to settle with a Perfect Man anymore. Enters depression and weight gain and they settle wit…

"The illusion of choice." Would women be better off if we could somehow free them from those false expectations, even if it meant losing their freedom to experiment?

“It gives them the illusion of choice, and many women build false expectations, feeling that they could settle with any of those Don Juans, which is false.”

Why flag? Why not respond.

I think women learn pretty quickly that these “Don Juan” types will not settle with them. They learn this when they attempt to settle with these “Don Juan” types, who readily cast aside any disillusionment about them settling.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#142

Post by Donzo »

adam-a wrote: post #131
tajen wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, it’s rather devastating for female sanity. It gives them the illusion of choice, and many women build false expectations, feeling that they could settle with any of those Don Juans, which is false. When they hit the wall at 30, they start noticing that the top 10% men keep dating the younger ones, and they’ll never be able to settle with a Perfect Man anymore. Enters depression and weight gain and they settle wit…

While divorce rates may be around 55% and if, for the sake of argument, the total percentage of unhappy marriages is 30% (although combining lack of sex with domestic abuse is a strange categorisation to me) don't you think a lot of those unhappy marriages end in divorce? The remaining "happy" couples is probably higher than 10%. On top of that I think you're using some very vague statistics and a stated concern for…

There is actually an insane correlation between abuse and sex.

Draw what inferences you will from this, but women in abusive relationships overwhelmingly report having fantastic sex lives.

Anyone who’s been in a long-term, safe relationship may have noticed that it takes work, on the part of both partners, to keep the candles burning.

Learning stuff like this seems to defy everything that one knows, but this is the construct.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#143

Post by heartbreak »

Double_a_92 wrote: post #105
laurieg wrote: post #2

It is very informative to make a an online dating profile of the opposite gender. I'm a man, but when I made an account on tinder with a female friend's pictures I was blown away by just how radically different the experience was. Almost every person would match with me. Everyone would message me straight away. If I didn't reply most would message again in a few hours. A few would get very angry/upset that I didn't r…

> Men shotgun and women pick and choose. The problem is that that is a vicious cycle. The more men shotgun the more women have to be picky. So nobody answers and man have to write to even more women... Usually this get's "fixed" by limiting the amount of messages men can send. But that doesn't really work. There should be a system that "punishes" women for being picky and men for being desperate. Maybe publicly show…

> There should be a system that "punishes" women for being picky

I don’t want to misinterpret you, so is this what you meant to write?

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#145

Post by Double_a_92 »

skate22 wrote: post #130
Double_a_92 wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> they will use the app endlessly if real women are there Do they actually? I've spoken to many men and those apps don't seem to work at all. Usually gets deleted after a few days of usage. Like what's the point of being there if absolutely noone wants to write?

I used tinder in college and it worked pretty well for me (male). I would swipe right 100%, and get 3-10 matches per day. Out of all of the matches, maybe 5% would message me. That would be the first time i even looked at the profile, and would decide to go for it or not. Out of that 5% i might actually go on a date with 1% of that group. It wasnt great, but wasnt terrible either.

That's 1 potential date per year.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#146

Post by wycy »

Throwaway198724 wrote: post #45
laurieg wrote: post #2

It is very informative to make a an online dating profile of the opposite gender. I'm a man, but when I made an account on tinder with a female friend's pictures I was blown away by just how radically different the experience was. Almost every person would match with me. Everyone would message me straight away. If I didn't reply most would message again in a few hours. A few would get very angry/upset that I didn't r…

When I was using dating sites, I did the same on OkCupid, and signed up a fake account with the photos of a woman that was slightly above average in appearance. I was curious to see how many messages I would receive, but more importantly, the type and quality of those messages. I thought that would give me a better idea of how to write my own messages (e.g. if 90% of messages were asking the same question, I didn't w…

Pedantic: there's a good chance you have infinitely more hair than Vin Diesel, not just twice as much.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#147

Post by tajen »

pavlov wrote: post #99
tajen wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, it’s rather devastating for female sanity. It gives them the illusion of choice, and many women build false expectations, feeling that they could settle with any of those Don Juans, which is false. When they hit the wall at 30, they start noticing that the top 10% men keep dating the younger ones, and they’ll never be able to settle with a Perfect Man anymore. Enters depression and weight gain and they settle wit…

"The illusion of choice." Would women be better off if we could somehow free them from those false expectations, even if it meant losing their freedom to experiment?

I don’t mind that they experiment, but not building wrong expectations is important. Without this illusion of choice, they might be more satisfied with an average guy.

They might settle younger, spend time building the relationship with a man who’ll enjoy paying for her studies and who will remember her beauty for the rest of his life; and both will rise in their career by receiving more affection in their 20ies. Then at 30 have kids, without the impression of having lost her youth like when you have the illusion of choice, and without the impression of getting second-hand goods with a lot of baggage (fat on one side, kids pension on the other).

Can we remove the illusion of choice without removing freedom? That’s the problem with traditionalists. But I’m convinced we should at least try to convey the message, so little girls know where not to fall, or explain that the Charming Prince doesn’t exist. But we’re far, far from having a discussion like this is the current education.

And somehow the bachelor carousel is more attractive. Humans. (I’m joking, I know both genders are desperate in such situations, one of the big problems being the illusion of choice).

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#148

Post by Double_a_92 »

heartbreak wrote: post #143
Double_a_92 wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Men shotgun and women pick and choose. The problem is that that is a vicious cycle. The more men shotgun the more women have to be picky. So nobody answers and man have to write to even more women... Usually this get's "fixed" by limiting the amount of messages men can send. But that doesn't really work. There should be a system that "punishes" women for being picky and men for being desperate. Maybe publicly show…

> There should be a system that "punishes" women for being picky I don’t want to misinterpret you, so is this what you meant to write?

Yes, but that's why punish is in " ".

There's an obvious imbalance in pickyness between the genders. So counter-weight that somehow.

It should encourage being picky for men, and discourage it for women.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#149

Post by pc86 »

bartread wrote: post #104
aphextron wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I worked for $large_dating_site for a number of years. The real genius of Tinder was giving women the power. We came to the same realization as well: that no matter how bad you make the user experience for men, they will use the app endlessly if real women are there. Online dating business models are exclusively based around enticing men with sex, and giving women the power to choose precisely who they want.

And on that note I'll be cancelling my dating site subscriptions immediately.

The world mourns.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#150

Post by ionised »

lumberjack wrote: post #132
alexashka wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Real stroke of genius would be making prostitution legal, and family a big deal. It'd solve men's natural urges, and women's constant insecurity that they're going to be abandoned, once they get wrinkles. It'd remove so much undisclosed resentment and tension within families and society. It'd free up people involved in billions upon billions of dollars worth of industry, to do something useful, instead of preying on…

The "natural urge" is to procreate, not to simply have sex.

I've read things that stated the opposite was true for men, that their natural urge is to have sex, not to create children.

The children are just the product of successful sex, and we are just vessels for our genes.

My own experience confirms this, as I greatly desire sex and have no inclination whatsoever to have children. Though before the advent of contraception I likely would have ended up with children regardless because I pursued sex so much.

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