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To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

nytimes.com

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Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#141

Post by [deleted] »

ra88it wrote: post #86
agumonkey wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a little thing that helps is the experience that correcting your self brings tangible benefits. When you felt it, the next time you will happily fix your problems. In a way I felt it was a worthy definition of being an adult. You suddenly strive for small but regular, organized, balanced .. instead of idle or intense (typical young adult maybe)

This is such an important point. I know some people who have made great efforts such as exercising more or quitting alcohol, but for whatever reason they claim to not perceive the purported benefit of their effort. I don't know how to help them, because for me, if I need more exercise, I perceive the "benefit" (mood improvement, etc.) usually almost immediately, like 5 minutes into it. When I cut out alcohol, I perce…

[deleted]

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#142

Post by eclat »

tvanantwerp wrote: post #87
SwellJoe wrote: post #61

When training animals, particularly dogs, it's (I think) pretty well-known that redirecting to positive behaviors is much more effective than punishing unwanted behaviors (so much so that one could say "punishment does not work at all compared to redirecting to desired behaviors" without much exaggeration). i.e. when a dog chews on a sofa cushion, put a dog chew in their mouth or direct them to go get their toy or ch…

A great book about this is Don't Shoot the Dog by Karen Pryor. Even if you don't own a dog (I don't), it's a great guide to how animals--including humans--learn behaviors and can be trained best with positive reinforcement.

Thanks for the recommendation.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#143

Post by eclat »

sharkweek wrote: post #3

Thought suppression is a one-way ticket to training your brain that the thoughts you are trying to avoid are the only things you should be thinking about. Over a long enough timeline, it wires your brain, the giant "what if" machine, that it should be worried about whatever it is that's popping into your head and making you feel so resistant.

Which can lead to obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#144

Post by anarchimedes »

namuol wrote: post #6

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and if you are suffering emotionally/mentally please seek professional help. ---- My anecdote: I used to frequently suffer from (undiagnosed) anxiety and depression. For about a year, I would respond to sudden anxiety by seeking comfort in various forms of isolation/depressed behavior (watch TV as a distraction, try to take a "nap", etc.). The most insidious thing about this was how it s…

It's amazing that you mention this as this was a similar method that I used to quit smoking. When I had the craving to smoke a cigarette, I took off for a sprint (I was younger with an outdoor job at the time!). It both interrupted the pattern, and associated the behavior with the pain of sprinting.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#145

Post by eclat »

besasam wrote: post #59
goldenkey wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is possible via behavioral therapy. Most social anxiety stems from a lack of previous success in social situations. Once you realize that people don't bite, you stop giving a shit. The public is mostly oblivious and distracted. If you think you are getting attention its far more likely that no one cares. Source: introvert who isn't scared of the mopey public anymore

There's a difference between being an introvert and having (clinical) social anxiety. It's an irrational fear and no amount of "realizing" will help with that. Cognitive behavioral therapy however will teach you to recognize thought patterns and channel them elsewhere, but that's something entirely different from "stopping giving a shit". Source: extrovert with lots of anxiety who loves the public but still gets irra…

Exposure therapy alongside CBT has been proven to eliminate social anxiety, which is what he is saying.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#146

Post by eclat »

Replacement can also become a compulsion however. If you get a negative thought you want to stop having, replacing it with another will only make that negative thought more important to your mind, as it will be considered something to be avoided. I recommend doing CBT instead of following the advice of NYT articles.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#147

Post by btrettel »

Diederich wrote: post #140
btrettel wrote: post #18

The linked article seems to suggest that you can replace bad habits with arbitrary other habits. Maybe that's true, but I think it's best to change your situation so that the right choice is the easiest to make. I've discussed this in the context of transportation cycling at HN in the past: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16515129 > As a transportation cyclist, some people I know think I must have superhuman wil…

Thank you for staying this. (again) I've always really hated exercise, and I still do. I've never been able to get into the 'exercise zen' that some people talk about. No matter what approach I take, even going back to when I was young, exercise was unpleasant. Not surprisingly, nothing I tried over the years for exercise stuck very long. Until I arranged my life that I had to ride my bicycle to get to work. I absolu…

Your experience is similar to mine.

Some of my friends have tried to make exercise inherently enjoyable, but I see this as usually a lost cause. Using myself as an example, there are very few exercises I would enjoy. And would I even do an exercise I enjoy regularly anyway? Basketball can be fun, but I never felt motivated enough to play unprompted, so it's not enough. Plus, basketball is nowhere near as good cardio as cycling.

Given that excuses are easy and that you probably can't make exercise enjoyable enough, the best option I can see is to make exercise unavoidable. Active transportation is my favorite here. Reducing friction helps a lot too, and might be enough for any particular person reading this, but I prefer to leave as little to chance as possible.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#148

Post by chaseha »

gilbetron wrote: post #94
Broken_Hippo wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As far as cutting back on meat goes: I'd suggest simply focusing on eating enough vegetables. Most folks don't come near eating enough fruit and vegetables (most of which should be vegetables). You might find that simply getting enough vegetables forces you to cut back on meat. You might replace part of the meat in a meal with vegetables. Maybe switch your breakfast so you eat fruit or vegetables. Same for lunch. Fin…

(not who you responded to, fyi) I've noticed that veggies are hugely important to making me feel good, probably because of the fiber and the fact that I'm eating them instead of processed crap. It drive me crazy, though, trying to find recipes that have lots of veggies, but still a little bit of meat. I like meat, and no desire to become a vegetarian of any sort, I just want to have 90% veggies, 10% meat, or somethin…

various stir fries are great for that

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#149

Post by AnatMl2 »

dahart wrote: post #139
AnatMl2 wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, isn't it individual for every person? Firstly, someone who weighs 141 lbs does not lose weight with the same intensity as someone with 220 lbs. Secondly, if one wants to lose weight by doing sports, he should be reasonable about this and not eat a bar of a chocolate after a 50 min run. As I already said, I'm not a professional and I do speak from my personal experience. I don't have exact statistics either, I'd…

> Well, isn't it individual for every person? Statistically speaking, no. Most people's physical response to food and exercise is almost exactly the same given the same inputs. There may be minor variations from person to person, but the variations aren't large enough to change the general advice. There are extreme exceptions, but those are natually extremely rare, and shouldn't be used to muddy the water. > Secondly…

I didn't exaggerate with a bar of chocolate, I've done that, not proud, but a huge fan of chocolate.

I understand what you mean and most people might do exactly as you say, I don't argue with that. My argument is that it is possible to lose weight if you do sports, even if you lose a very small amount of weight, it is still losing the weight. I'm not trying to stubbornly prove my point here, I just feel that I've been misunderstood. I don't advice anybody to leave doing what they are doing and start doing some sports because it is the only way to lose the weight, no it isn't. There are lots of other options and maybe more effective even. I just don't understand why we should deny the fact that sports also is one of the options, if, and I have to agree here, combined with a good diet (and by diet I don't mean starving yourself, but eating consciously).

I appreciate your answer, there is more for me to read and learn about the subject indeed.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#150

Post by abalone »

blunte wrote: post #2

Here is a much more powerful proof that changing environment can help you change yourself. https://jamesclear.com/heroin-habits

A very good book on this is Biology of Desire by Marc Lewis. Cites the Vietnam heroin example, and gets into the neurobiology of bad habits.

Key points are that addiction is neither a choice nor a disease, and self-control is a depletable resource (so being overly suppressive can lead to binges). Recovery benefits from emotional events that reframe one's relationship with the bad habit and exploring the traumatic roots of it.

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