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To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

nytimes.com

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Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#81

Post by throw6679 »

evanmarshall wrote: post #9

I think attacking one problem at a time is the best way to go about (at least for me). I noticed that many people try to make drastic changes all at once and then fail at all of them. I'd recommend trying one thing and just doing that one thing above all else. IE, don't try to exercise and diet at the same time. Pick one and when you've firmly established the habit, start the next change.

>IE, don't try to exercise and diet at the same time. Pick one and when you've firmly established the habit, start the next change.

What usually happens is that people are not aware of how many calories they eat, so when they start dieting they change the high fat calories food for low calorie ones (fruit, vegetables, low fat protein) plus the exercise they enter in a severe caloric deficit that is not sustainable.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#83

Post by StapleHorse »

saintPirelli wrote: post #56
baxtr wrote: post #33

I’ve been able to reduce my time on news websites dramatically by developing the habit of opening the kindle app instead. Now I (mostly) continue to read my books instead of reading nonsense.

I do the same thing (with physical copies, I don't have a kindle). It's amazing how much more knowledge you can gather by just doing that one thing. Plus the delayed gratification when you look at a pile of books and think to yourself: "Wow, I read all that?"

For the gratification with raaded ebooks I use www.goodreads.com

I even put there audiobooks there, which really go well with treadmill exercising. I love listening to books at 135BPM (walking fast with 5% gradient)

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#84

Post by Farstrider »

danielrk wrote: post #37

I bit my nails unconsciously for 15 years. Constantly bleeding and got to the point where my thumbnails were gone and I thought they wouldn’t ever grow back. I got braces for my teeth, the biting immediately stopped, and my nails grew back to perfect condition in a few months. In dealing with the discomfort of braces, I developed a habit of pushing my tongue against my teeth which completely replaced my nail biting h…

I bit my nails for about 18 years, was not until I saw someone with horrible nails that I decided I needed to stop.

I replaced it with taking care of my nails and now I file them more than most people to keep them in great shape and to avoid biting.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#85

Post by wazoox »

jrowley wrote: post #35
iancmceachern wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Me too, only with running. It's a great way to force yourself to take time for meditation, reflection and processing the days events. For me it's my time, time in which clients, other folks in my life are set aside and I can think for myself. Plus it's a way to progress, have something to be proud if even if client work, or other aspects of life aren't.

If you don’t mind me asking, how often do you feel you need to run?

I do the same, and I run 6 days a week, about 40 km total. Been doing this for 12 years, whatever the weather, cold, heat, rain, snow etc.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#86

Post by ra88it »

agumonkey wrote: post #77
thisisit wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It took me about a year to recognize this pattern, but eventually I learned to catch myself whenever I was seeking this form of comfort Most of the advice from self-help books can be condensed into this line - Recognizing a pattern and catching yourself. Only after this in place can a behavior/habit be replaced. Or improved. Or removed. If there is no self-awareness, changing behavior/habit is infinitely more diffi…

There's a little thing that helps is the experience that correcting your self brings tangible benefits. When you felt it, the next time you will happily fix your problems. In a way I felt it was a worthy definition of being an adult. You suddenly strive for small but regular, organized, balanced .. instead of idle or intense (typical young adult maybe)

This is such an important point. I know some people who have made great efforts such as exercising more or quitting alcohol, but for whatever reason they claim to not perceive the purported benefit of their effort.

I don't know how to help them, because for me, if I need more exercise, I perceive the "benefit" (mood improvement, etc.) usually almost immediately, like 5 minutes into it. When I cut out alcohol, I perceive improvements within 24 hours. It unsettles me to imagine if this was not the case.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#87

Post by tvanantwerp »

SwellJoe wrote: post #61

When training animals, particularly dogs, it's (I think) pretty well-known that redirecting to positive behaviors is much more effective than punishing unwanted behaviors (so much so that one could say "punishment does not work at all compared to redirecting to desired behaviors" without much exaggeration). i.e. when a dog chews on a sofa cushion, put a dog chew in their mouth or direct them to go get their toy or ch…

A great book about this is Don't Shoot the Dog by Karen Pryor. Even if you don't own a dog (I don't), it's a great guide to how animals--including humans--learn behaviors and can be trained best with positive reinforcement.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#88

Post by Nannooskeeska »

StapleHorse wrote: post #83
saintPirelli wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do the same thing (with physical copies, I don't have a kindle). It's amazing how much more knowledge you can gather by just doing that one thing. Plus the delayed gratification when you look at a pile of books and think to yourself: "Wow, I read all that?"

For the gratification with raaded ebooks I use www.goodreads.com I even put there audiobooks there, which really go well with treadmill exercising. I love listening to books at 135BPM (walking fast with 5% gradient)

I'm with you on Goodreads. I absolutely love the yearly challenges and how easy they make it to track.

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#89

Post by pps »

ClassyJacket wrote: post #50
fyfy18 wrote: post #38

Has anyone got any tips for how to stop biting nails? This technique sounds like it would work for some habits, but I do this subconciously without realising - usually when I’m deep in though on something else (not when I’m streased).

If anyone could help me stop scratching my face, scalp, and arms until I bleed I would be forever grateful. The effect on my life is profound.

I think that NLP sucks overall, it's mostly a marketing tool and sometimes worse, but there are things supported by science and some techniques for quick interventions are integrated into psychotherapy ("NLPt psychotherapy" if you want to check it). The most down to earth book which you can use to help yourself in this case is "Change Your Mind and Keep The Change" by Steve Andreas. Good luck!

Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead

#90

Post by agumonkey »

ra88it wrote: post #86
agumonkey wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a little thing that helps is the experience that correcting your self brings tangible benefits. When you felt it, the next time you will happily fix your problems. In a way I felt it was a worthy definition of being an adult. You suddenly strive for small but regular, organized, balanced .. instead of idle or intense (typical young adult maybe)

This is such an important point. I know some people who have made great efforts such as exercising more or quitting alcohol, but for whatever reason they claim to not perceive the purported benefit of their effort. I don't know how to help them, because for me, if I need more exercise, I perceive the "benefit" (mood improvement, etc.) usually almost immediately, like 5 minutes into it. When I cut out alcohol, I perce…

This is why culture/education is important. You can rediscover this on your own but it may mean hitting bottom to actually try other strategies. Or you can rely on experience of others. Or at least a system that let you fall a bit and then give you incentives to go the other way.
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