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Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

kapwing.com

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Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#141

Post by Double_a_92 »

guy98238710 wrote: post #129
donkeyd wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I haven't been around where a woman has said "hi" to someone and they're all "Yea, eff your mom" Lucky you, I recently saw this 'interaction' between a guy and a girl on the street: Guy: Hey cutie! Guy: Hey sexy! Guy: Hey girl, come over! Guy: Hey bitch, come over here. Guy: Go away you ugly bitch! The girl just kept walking and the guy turned to more profanities. This wasn't in some shitty part of town, it was at…

It's very different. The guy on the street actually wanted the girl. These people on the internet don't want anyone. They just want a victim for abuse. The annoying chatbox just gives them an excuse to vent off.

How is it (sexual) abuse if you write dumb shit in a chat box? At most you are wasting their time while being rude...

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#142

Post by jjeaff »

TheAdamAndChe wrote: post #111
tomlock wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's obviously true, but it doesn't detract from the point that women, in this case and many others, are unfairly targeted for abuse, particularly online.

I hear this all the time, but I'd love some stats on this. It's not like the internet is a great place for those who don't reveal their gender.

This article had stats. Several thousand interactions with a statistically significant difference. Exactly how many stats do you need?

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#143

Post by tim333 »

TheAdamAndChe wrote: post #123
laci27 wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm using the net (As a guy) for 20 years now, and I was surprised. This is taking place at an alarming scale. Some parents really missed the mark in teaching their kids basic human manners, and I'm not even talking about the golden rule...

I am really curious. You say you have used the net for 20 years now, so how can you be surprised about this? Have you not exposed yourself to other anonymous forums? They're all filled with vitriol and disrespect.

As another surprised guy I'm aware people post bad things on the internet but I wasn't aware of the degree of difference between having a male and female picture as I haven't tried that.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#144

Post by Double_a_92 »

jjeaff wrote: post #140
guy98238710 wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sexism might be everywhere (going both ways), but this particular case likely isn't sexism. Even if it is, it's not clear whether this is sexism against women or against men (programmers in particular) assumed to be hiding behind pretty woman's photo.

Since the female photos get a significantly higher level of harrassed, how does this not indicate sexism?

Female photos, especially the second model photo, look incredibly fake. I guess people use that unwanted box to vent to frustations with what seems to be a bot?

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#145

Post by baud147258 »

gouggoug wrote: post #65
tziki wrote: post #41

Since the post is framed as a gender issue, let me offer another view that I think is evidently good to remember in the conversation: according to studies, men are more likely to experience online harrasment [1]. [1] http://www.pewinternet.org/2017/07/11/online-harassment-2017...

There was a great blog post[0] recently regarding the recent Aziz Ansari story about sexual harassement. (If you haven't heard of this case, I encourage you to Google it.) It made a really great point that I believe -whichever side (if any) you take in the Ansari story- is very enlightening (at least it was for me), and that potentially applies to your study. I can't possibly explain it as well as the author, so plea…

The Aziz Ansari story is more a bad date than actual harassement.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#146

Post by Double_a_92 »

yoavm wrote: post #81
dazc wrote: post #14

These chat messenger pop-ups can be quite annoying, the example on the site mentioned is typically 'in your face'. What's particularly frustrating with this one is that there is already a prominent speech bubble icon in the corner of the screen that suggests they have a chat feature - if I want it. It doesn't need to crack open after a second and slap me. I am not defending the obvious misogyny here but I think an ex…

I don't see how this is relevant in any way. I dislike these messenger ups too and finding them utterly annoying, but it's not an article about usability, UX or user engagement. It's about how men see and treat women online when using this specific tool, and I think it presents a huge educational problem of this (my) gender. As a man, I wouldn't never even think I have to hide my photo online. I've been using the int…

When seeing an annoying popup with what seems to be a bot in it, people just happen to write shit in it. Even if it's just to annoy and waste time of that particular company.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#147

Post by Certhas »

Double_a_92 wrote: post #146
yoavm wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't see how this is relevant in any way. I dislike these messenger ups too and finding them utterly annoying, but it's not an article about usability, UX or user engagement. It's about how men see and treat women online when using this specific tool, and I think it presents a huge educational problem of this (my) gender. As a man, I wouldn't never even think I have to hide my photo online. I've been using the int…

When seeing an annoying popup with what seems to be a bot in it, people just happen to write shit in it. Even if it's just to annoy and waste time of that particular company.

They don't. Not according to the article. Not if it's a neutral logo or an Asian guy. They only do so if it's a female face on there.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#148

Post by vgf »

w0de0 wrote: post #99
vgf wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> especially since Drift asks users to enter their email address and people are worried about spam. Huh, okay. (Why bring up some other site?) > Our website is a video editing tool, so we decided .. I don't quite follow - how does that fact justify using this particular dark UI pattern?

> A dark UI pattern. I disagree. Dark UI is manipulation of the user. For example, hiding 'X' buttons on pop-ups asking for a subscription. (Is refusing to pay for value provided a dark 'pattern' on the part of users?) This pop-up does not manipulate the user. It is an honest value proposition. So is "Fifty Shades of Grey." I didn't buy it.

The manipulation in this case is that a naive user assumes there's a real person on the other end who has noticed them browsing the site and decided to take some time out of their day to initiate a conversation with them.

It's a classical sales tactics that builds on social pressure, here taken to a more dishonest level - the chat box was initiated by some code, in spite of what the text message implies.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#149

Post by Sir_Substance »

jakobegger wrote: post #113
verroq wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Rude people are sexist" or "Sexist people are rude" is about the only conclusion you can draw here (maybe not even that, correlation != causation etc etc) It doesn't even come close to showing how "sexism is everywhere". For all we know the sample could be entirely edgy 12 year olds. Tell me again how this self-admittedly "non-rigorous scientific study" proves "sexism is everywhere"? It could easily be that more att…

You're probably new to HN, so you might not have seen all the other stories about sexism posted in the last year or so. A single story like this doesn't prove anything, but the flood of stories just like that paint a pretty clear picture. At some point you can no longer say: "This is an isolated incident".

>At some point you can no longer say: "This is an isolated incident".

The problem with this is there's really no such thing as an "anti-sexism" story. No one posts news about how they worked at a company and everyone was just a normal person. That's not news, that's just life. It happens all the time, and in fact it's probably happening right now within a few hundred meters of almost everyone reading the post, yet it will never make the news. Moreover, the vast majority of news articles on this site are analyzable as containing an absence of sexism, but that's not an "anti-sexism" story either.

What I'm trying to get here is that the signal you are listening to is unidirectional. If you're incrementing a mental counter of "how many sexism-related articles have I seen" without any way of decrementing it then yeah, eventually you'll hit a number you dislike. That's not because there's any meaning behind your metric though, it's just because you've structured your metric in a way that means given infinite time, you'll hit /all/ the positive integers.

Anyway, that doesn't mean that sexism isn't a major problem. But it does mean that you, jakobegger, don't know if it's a major problem or not.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#150

Post by ponderatul »

It's funny how Silicon Valley is like a fish in the water. They don't see the water, because they are in it. Technology is like putting a V8 engine on the skateboard of evolution. It accelerates the shit out of everything.

These people that are commenting and being sexist, trolls etc. are hurting. Most of them don't have the awareness to realize it. Their attention has been hijacked by the superstimulus of the 21st century. The 24/7 media, sensationalist headlines, addictive apps ( facebook, twitter, instagram, snapchat ). Everything there comes to them in a blink of an eye. But life is not like that. Real life doesn't move at that blistering speed. And it creates dissonance, that hurts.

Everything is amplified with technology. I've been there. I've been an addict, but I got my head out of the water as well. Once you see it, you can't go back.

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