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Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

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Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#141

Post by theandrewbailey »

DominikR wrote: post #73
tajen wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recognize I'm in this situation, but I have no idea what one could do to make a life meaningful, outside of good work or raising great kids, hopefully with a loving partner. I have already tried many things: Living in 3 other countries for 4 years in total (but I was missing family and friends support), being self-employed (I do B2B software like P.McKenzie), learning to dance (3 times, but I feel crap at it), musi…

> Only having a girlfriend once fulfilled me (until she dumped me like "you don't have leadership with your life") but you didn't count "partner" among things that fulfill your free time, did you? Please don't try to find this there. It makes you dependant on a person which isn't healthy for both of you and you are not going to find this idealised love in a relationship. The main reasons that I see for men slowly los…

So true. I had several friends, that as soon as they got a girlfriend, we never really saw or talked again.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#142

Post by theandrewbailey »

chipsambos wrote: post #94
andyjdavis wrote: post #33

>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.” I feel like this is a problem our whole life however it is only once we retire that we are forced to confront it. Until then we are able to avoid dealing with a lack of fulfilling activities outside of work, limited social connections and a weak sense of iden…

>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.” That is why it's important not anchor your identity in the transient. The world is full of people who do and it invariably hits them hard when things inevitably change: Mothers with empty nest syndrome, ageing people clinging desperately to their youthful goo…

> It helps if you clearly define the roles you play in your life: a husband, a father, a brother, a friend, a software dev, a jogger, a cyclist, a member of the local club, an avid collector of y and, above all, a person who can create new roles and find new places for yourself.

Most of those things ARE transient.

Most of the retirees anymore had their jobs for life (ok, 30+ years). As in, within a single company. After that long, employment is taken for granted, and it's hard to see oneself not being on the job.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#143

Post by brandon272 »

smilingtom wrote: post #127
brandon272 wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I view retirement mostly as financial freedom. I have every intention of working after retirement as I get personal enjoyment out of doing what I do. I just haven't decided what "work" will look like.

Wait, so you know you will work after retirement. You get personal enjoyment out of your work. But you don't know what your work will be? It sounds like you're saying that you want to continue existing and being able to do things after you retire... That is exactly what retirement is. Why do you feel like you need to sound like one of those "go-getting", "I'm-always-working" people who thinks everyone should work 22…

The tone of this post is quite rude and not appropriate for HN.

And yes, I am a "go getter". :)

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#144

Post by mike4ty4 »

heartsucker wrote: post #130
gerbilly wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm willing to bet there are people over 65 doing all those things much better than you are currently able to. Of course this is true, but my chances of being fit enough to engage in those activities at 65 go down with the passage of time, and from many factors outside of my control (accidents, major illnesses, something else...) But there's a more subtle point. By the time I'm 65 I may not want to surf or mountain…

Then decide right now that you want to be fit enough 30 years from now to mountain bike . What does that take? Probably the ability to pedal a bike with a heart rate of 150 for 3 hours. What does that take? You going out and riding a bike for 3 hours per day 2-3 times per week, every week until then. There ya go. Not saying don't take the time to enjoy life now, but don't sell your future self short. Especially on fi…

The real problem is we have mechanized so much. Granted, machines can let us do so many things that would be utterly impossible without them, but the problem is we've allowed them to _substitute_ our natural labor and not to just _extend_ it.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#145

Post by DominikR »

theandrewbailey wrote: post #141
DominikR wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Only having a girlfriend once fulfilled me (until she dumped me like "you don't have leadership with your life") but you didn't count "partner" among things that fulfill your free time, did you? Please don't try to find this there. It makes you dependant on a person which isn't healthy for both of you and you are not going to find this idealised love in a relationship. The main reasons that I see for men slowly los…

So true. I had several friends, that as soon as they got a girlfriend, we never really saw or talked again.

I hope it works out for everyone but imho it is very dangerous.

If I did this and the relationship ends 20 years from now I could find myself being an old guy without any friends and then it's harder (but still possible) to find new friends. (because you get rusty when you didn't do this kind of thing for decades)

I can definitely see why some people then choose to sit in front of a TV all day, because with your friends probably also a lot of the activities and hobbies you once enjoyed are gone.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#147

Post by vlod »

saiya-jin wrote: post #111
jventura wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a good advice, but not everyone needs to run away from something. Sometimes we just have to face ourselves and do a deep introspection on our lives.. I, for myself, find it really hard sometimes to know how I should run my life, or what are my goals. Maybe sometimes there isn't any need to have goals, or maybe my goal is to accomplish every goal so that I empty my goal bucket.. Whatever, I think each one of us a…

it was never about running away from anything, I was coming back in 3 months to things and people I left there. It was about adventure, exposing yourself to new situations, cultures, people, everything. every single day. it gives you huge amount of time to see yourself, introspect, experience yourself in all kinds of crazy conditions, and discover that we humans are amazing, strong beings if we try a bit. also that m…

> who unknowingly changed course of my life in many ways. planted some sort of idea-seed in my head. never expected anything like that to happen

Any chance you can expand on this? Would love to read a blog post.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#148

Post by IndianAstronaut »

ams6110 wrote: post #28
IndianAstronaut wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I worked with a 63 year old who didn't plan on retirement. He was physically and mentally active. Always up to date on new frameworks, languages, etc. He could also pick a new project very rapidly.

Had he been in development for 40+ years? Or was it a newer line of work for him?

Yeah, he was in development. Definitely a different sort since he used to talk about Pascal and having hard drives the size of a small car.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#149

Post by Kluny »

p4wnc6 wrote: post #132
Kluny wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ah, I see. I think that still counts as work. If you've been saying "I've been off work" in interviews, that might not work, but it would be just as true to say "I've been working for my family."

Yes, I do say this. Obviously you can't just vaguely say "I've been working" -- they will ask exactly what "work" you have been doing, which is when I explain just the bare minimum details of my family situation necessary for an employer. Most people interviewing me express a lot of compassion, say it's admirable to see someone sticking to help their family as I have, and then promptly reject me for not currently bei…

Rough.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#150

Post by ovt »

This is certainly a big issue. In the comments, I see of course how it's so vital for all of us, and yet our problems and our advice...varies because we're all different and it's hard to express what we are and what we love in two paragraphs. We can't help but talk past each other somewhat with strangers.

Maybe what is best to take away from advice is less the specifics and more to take heart that others want to communicate and share and help.

For my part, I'll say that "work" as such is not the place to seek meaning unless...unless it's right there for you, isn't hurting anything or anyone, etc.

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