Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Let's get a little louder

juliaelman.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

131–140 of 149 posts

Re: Let's get a little louder

#131

Post by Daniel_Newby »

LeafStorm wrote: post #119
Daniel_Newby wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why the downvote hate? A few videos demonstrating the problem would eliminate the controversy, as well as let the offenders punish themselves in their own words.

Because if I was being sexually harassed, I wouldn't stay around the harasser long enough to pull out a camera phone and record the (horribly vulgar) advances - especially considering the risk of the harasser becoming violent when recorded. I would get the heck away.

But she did not flee. She engaged and escalated. He attempted a 5 second caveman courtship, and she responded to it, teasing him about his wife to check if his testosterone really was turned up to 11. Soo-prise, it was! Maybe even 12. So then she teased him about his daughter, to see if he would virtually castrate himself to impress her. Soo-prise, it turns out Mr. Caveman does not live to sexually impress his daughter.

What she should have done was to record his overtures for public amusement, then turned her back on him.

Re: Let's get a little louder

#132

Post by arcwhite »

dpeck wrote: post #28

Maybe I'm missing something but why not handle it with the safeguards at the venue? The conference is not in the business of protecting its attendees from unwanted advances, especially outside of the conference areas/sponsored events. Why not speak to the manager of the bar and have him escorted out? If it happens at the hotel, do the same with the hotel manager. People in the service/hospitality industry know how to…

It's real simple. Sexual harassment is not okay. Tolerating that behaviour in others is not okay. Inviting a known problem-person to conferences is not okay.

We can prevaricate about the "truth" of her story (and this particular incident) all we want, but the core message here is that these things do happen, women do get sexually harassed by people who are invited to tech conference, and that is not okay.

Re: Let's get a little louder

#134

Post by ToesByNoon »

Everyone deals with / runs into assholes in their lives, this guy was just another one. If you politely told him to fuck off several times and he did not, why not call the cops rather than crying about it on the internet? Oh yeah, free publicity for your blog and business.

Re: Let's get a little louder

#136

Post by ToesByNoon »

LeafStorm wrote: post #119
Daniel_Newby wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why the downvote hate? A few videos demonstrating the problem would eliminate the controversy, as well as let the offenders punish themselves in their own words.

Because if I was being sexually harassed, I wouldn't stay around the harasser long enough to pull out a camera phone and record the (horribly vulgar) advances - especially considering the risk of the harasser becoming violent when recorded. I would get the heck away.

Come to think of it, I'd bet if she pulled out a cellphone and started recording the stuff he was saying, he would have walked away a lot faster.

Re: Let's get a little louder

#138

Post by roopeshv »

lambda wrote: post #121
mhurron wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Unacceptable behavior does not suddenly become acceptable as soon as you walk out the door Nope, but the sphere of influence of the conference organizer does. >think that an unofficial meet up for beer would count as a conference event ... >These informal meetups at a bar afterwards are still part of the sphere of events related to the conference. I suppose so would paying a hooker and taking her back to your room o…

(Trigger warning for anyone reading this comment: this comment discusses non-consensual sexual situations) > Nope, but the sphere of influence of the conference organizer does. Obviously, the conference organizer cannot determine whether someone can go to a particular bar at a particular time. However, the conference organizer can decide who can go to the conference. And that can be based on any judgment they want th…

i am not addressing most parts of the answer, but this one part of the reply bugs me the most; "he wound up raping another member". Because this equates any sexual harassement with rape. Are you suggesting that someone would eventually rape just because they are assholes?

Re: Let's get a little louder

#139

Post by natrius »

nosse wrote: post #123
natrius wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

FYI, if, within the realm of reason, you ask someone to stop doing something that bothers you and they continue to do so, that's usually harassment.

"within the realm of reason" Thats the point I was making. "Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_harassment So in my view, if the author w…

You refer to it as a single incident; she does not.

"My colleague started making inappropriate sexual advances towards me. He singled me out and would not leave me alone, even when asked. I tried to shake it off, change the conversation and even moved away. He would not stop."

I'm not suggesting laws were broken, but there is no question in my mind that harassment is the proper term to use here.

"FYI" was an unproductive way to begin my comment. My apologies.

Re: Let's get a little louder

#140

Post by nosse »

natrius wrote: post #139
nosse wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"within the realm of reason" Thats the point I was making. "Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_harassment So in my view, if the author w…

You refer to it as a single incident; she does not. "My colleague started making inappropriate sexual advances towards me. He singled me out and would not leave me alone, even when asked. I tried to shake it off, change the conversation and even moved away. He would not stop." I'm not suggesting laws were broken, but there is no question in my mind that harassment is the proper term to use here. "FYI" was an unproduc…

Apology accepted. I'm sorry I didn't find a more mature way to respond.
Post reply on HN