Earlier quoted context omitted.
You are born (possibly) needing a car to commute to work, and needing a place to live, and needing to eat - and those costs have been going up. It is legitimately difficult and incredibly stressful to work in the service industry in San Fran unless you've lucked into being able to live in the downtown on the cheap. The suburbs that are affordable are hours away by car and more by public transit.
> in San Fran That’s a choice, and exactly what I’m talking about. Everything is a trade-off and while you can’t control everything, you can control a lot of things. One example I like to think of in this situation is a person I knew from my childhood, who struggled. If you asked him, he'd tell you how hard it is out there, and how many times life had giving him the short end of the stick. In many ways, he was right.…
You're mostly coming from an angle of personal choice but relocating yourself a significant distance costs a lot of money, it can be a financial burden to move across country or even across state. There are people who can voluntarily escape their situation (like your buddy) but there are a big portion that are just stuck there involuntarily.
I'd add that it's also a bit unfair to judge people whose solutions seem solvable but are in tough spots. I don't know if you've ever lived through a period of high stress (I was a game developer for a while and worked a lot of overtime while suffering from OSA) but when you don't have room to breathe it can be hard to puzzle a way out of your situation. You're just focusing on surviving with what you've got and all your energy is going into it, you don't have the presence of mind to logically consider your options and decide to cut your losses and run.