Nice to read & very touching story!
People Like You More Than You Know
131–140 of 220 posts
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#132Earlier quoted context omitted.
It takes me about 3-4 months of being around someone regularly before I'm able to hold a conversation that's more than direct answers to direct questions. It's impossible to hide pretty well, or at all really. Everyone I've ever known says something like "you don't talk much, do you" or something equally obvious. I used to wonder if people ask others the obvious "you're fat, aren't you" etc. I've learnt that few peop…
> I've learnt that few people like a strange, mostly silent creature being around long. It's very rare that I'm around anyone long enough for me to get past it and actually make a friend. Well, being a friend is all about communication. If one sits silent, how can the other gauge if they are good friend material? They could be totally incompatible, a jerk, rude, stupid, etc -- and there's no way to tell otherwise unl…
If one sits silent, how can the other gauge if they are good friend material?
Watch some of the movies with Jay and Silent Bob to understand this.
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#133It's one thing to know this, but another to actually feel it. For a variety of reasons, I get quite bad paranoia sometimes that nobody actually likes me. I feel like at best they tolerate me, and at worst are using me. It's a really shitty feeling to feel. It's caused me to drift away from a lot of friendships because I think "they don't really like me", and then months or years later, I run into them and they ask me…
I get that feeling and I think it may be true sometimes. I had this especially with my childhood friends when we grew older, I felt like somehow I didn’t really count unless I had something to bring them. So I left for greener pastures. Worked great for me, I’d rather be alone than pretend to be liked.
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#134I spent the first 40 years of my life wanting to be liked by everybody. I would go out of my way to be polite, not to cause waves or friction, and to basically be the 'nice guy' that everyone would like and be comfortable around.
It wasn't until I went to a personal development seminar, and the speaker was a very frank gentleman who said - "Look, whenever you walk into a room of 10 people you've never met, you will find 1, maybe 2 of them that you will like immediately and instantly get along with. 6 or 7 of the rest, you will probably become friends or acquaintances with through the course of time. The remainder will never like you no matter what you say or do."
Understanding that was a huge shift for me internally. I stopped trying to impress everyone, but instead focused on people who showed interest in interacting with me in all social situations. My friendships tended to stay the same, but my personal happiness levels increased markedly, and I stopped feeling guilty or worrying about what I did wrong when the odd person was unfriendly or ignored me. I feel free enough to just be 'me' again. The old saying of "You can't please all of the people all of the time" certainly rings true.
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#135These are true stories. I don't wish to come across as bragging. The last day of a job I had for seven years, the director of engineering told me I was the best engineer he ever knew. And he worked for some pretty well known engineering firms. If he had told me that before, I might not have left. A woman came into my office--someone who didn't seem to want to give me the time of day--and the conversation got around t…
Now can you imagine...in someone's eyes, you are the person they are not even sure if he likes them or appreciates them or not!
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#136Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'd be happy to hear it. You too
I have two special needs sons and I've done all kinds of therapy and what not. So kind of randomly: Nutritional supplements actually have a better track record than drugs for dealing with things like ADHD. If you can pinpoint the things that you need for your brain, you can see real improvement over time. B vitamins, high quality salt, the right fats and certain minerals, like magnesium and calcium, are likely candid…
Oh wow. Helpful advice. I have ADHD and recently been taken off my medication abruptly because my BP was too high. I've been struggling without it.
I'll give your recommendations a try. Thank you! :)
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#137Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think a key detail is he wasn't especially good looking and I complimented him on a physical trait. I've known lots of people over the years who had baggage over X and who made X into some big damn deal where it was impossible to say you liked them without it going weird places. Short men do this a lot and make it impossible to say "Eh, your height doesn't bother me, but I like X about you." Men who see themselves…
You know, that was one of the first things I thought too, having been on the other side of it. Compliments from women to men can be exceptionally rare, and when they do show up they can have a pretty profound impact. Of course, that perpetuates the cycle because women see that men overreact to simple compliments and are hesitant to give them. Compliments become more rare and... here we are. I’m truly sorry for what y…
I get compliments from women all the time. Never on my appearance, but I think I'm handsome.
It's always something genuine like my art I post in social media or a cool shirt I happen to be wearing, or that I'm always genteel.
I think it depends on your culture of course but from my experience it's a weekly occurrence.
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#138Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's exactly what I thought. What's the harm in just telling them? He makes it sound like it was completely out of his control.
I think there are pretty obvious difficulties with telling coworkers you’ve a crush on them.
I think you got that wrong, he didn't say they were coworkers. But sure, that'd be very different.
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#139Also not wishing to brag. The craziest example of this I can think of from my own life is that during one particularly crazy house party during my graduate days I ended up super drunk and waking up in this girl’s bed the next morning. When I was sober I regretted it quite massively. But the morning was horrible. She said how she had liked me for ages and how everyone thinks I’m this great guy but I don’t even know it. It was truly bizarre because I never realised she liked me at all. In fact, we used to argue a lot about random topics like political things and so on. I thought I annoyed her. It was just a bizarre and awful morning.
So I suppose a corollary of “people care about you more than you know” is that you need to treat people as well as they deserve.
Re: People Like You More Than You Know
#140These are true stories. I don't wish to come across as bragging. The last day of a job I had for seven years, the director of engineering told me I was the best engineer he ever knew. And he worked for some pretty well known engineering firms. If he had told me that before, I might not have left. A woman came into my office--someone who didn't seem to want to give me the time of day--and the conversation got around t…
[deleted]