The Overprotected American Child • Hacker News Board

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#131

Post by redsparrow » Sun, Jun 03, 2018, 7:53 AM UTC

spamizbad wrote: post #55

aphextron wrote: post #25

You can always tell when someone grew up like this. They are always afraid of doing anything that might even remotely be considered outside the box. They lack that ability and drive to find things out for themselves, and instead rely on others for help and guidance to a fault. Professional occupations are full of these people who were coddled from birth, through college, and straight into a high paying job with zero…

The fact that they tracked into a high paying job despite their risk-aversion and limited ability to think abstractly seems to vindicate their parent's method of raising children. Most parents aren't trying to raise the next brilliant artist, entrepreneur, or intellectual[1]. They just want their kids to have a stable, safe, happy life. [1] And those that try often don't know what they're doing and end up inflicting…

It may vindicate the parent's method, but only up to the point where their child gets the job. It seems that the system will let the coddled individual get that far. I wonder what happens to the coddled people after that. Right now they probably have a hard time, but maybe the system is evolving to let those people, at least in some industries, stay in their bubble. (I hope not...)

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#132

Post by aianus » Sun, Jun 03, 2018, 8:13 AM UTC

watwut wrote: post #103

aianus wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> get pregnant less often But are they getting pregnant less often per instance of intercourse? There were a lot of articles lately that teenagers and young adults are having less sex now than ever before which IMHO would be a failure rather than a success of overparenting.

1.) It is both less sex and more protection. 2.) Statistically, kids who are well informed about sex and have factual information tend to both start later and use protection. So no, later sex is not failure of parenting. It is result of kids making rational well informed choices. (Meaning them skipping sex with partner they don't trust, them being less likely to be manipulated or shamed into it, less likely do it jus…

The trend is continuing into adulthood which is the part that’s concerning.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#133

Post by m_mueller » Sun, Jun 03, 2018, 9:44 AM UTC

Pinckney wrote: post #11

As a counterpoint, Canada (and presumably the US too) has seen a dramatic decrease in unintentional injury mortality among children over the last 70 years. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28026710

So does Switzerland where the norm is still to send off children to kindergarden alonr at age 6. Or in Japan where 7 year olds take responsibility over 4 year olds going there (with some adults also warching the crossings). There‘s many ways increasing child safety that don’t mandate parents to helicopter.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#134

Post by m_mueller » Sun, Jun 03, 2018, 9:50 AM UTC

ThomPete wrote: post #98

When I first moved my family (from Denmark originally) to New York we had to put our oldest son in a daycare. We have always been fairly "free range" i.e. our kids have had their share of bruises from climbing and in general being allowed to do challenging things. After a week at the daycare my wife went to pick my son up, one of the teachers pulled her aside and told her that they, unfortunately, had to report some…

This kinda story is my biggest fear - the state interfering with my family.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#135

Post by watwut » Sun, Jun 03, 2018, 10:14 AM UTC

aianus wrote: post #132

watwut wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1.) It is both less sex and more protection. 2.) Statistically, kids who are well informed about sex and have factual information tend to both start later and use protection. So no, later sex is not failure of parenting. It is result of kids making rational well informed choices. (Meaning them skipping sex with partner they don't trust, them being less likely to be manipulated or shamed into it, less likely do it jus…

The trend is continuing into adulthood which is the part that’s concerning.

Out of curiosity, why is that concerning - assuming we are really at some kind of historical low e.g. low compared to more then just hippy 80ties including pre-contracepion eras?

Is that you think it is lack of sex that makes people have less children (meaning that they would have them had they not be too lazy to have sex)? Or that there are less relationships or that people keep solely their own gender peer group? Mark of people caring about work more then humans? Or something else?

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#136

Post by pbhjpbhj » Sun, Jun 03, 2018, 2:55 PM UTC

astura wrote: post #117

pbhjpbhj wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do tiered cakes work in USA? Wedding cakes, for example, in UK often have hidden 'pillars' inside the lower tiers to provide structural strength. Perhaps there's a size limit on embedded non-edible components.

Section 402(d)(1) of the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act is what regulates this. It says: (1) has partially or completely imbedded therein any nonnutritive object, except that this subparagraph shall not apply in the case of any nonnutritive object if, in the judgment of the Secretary as provided by regulations, such object is of practical functional value to the confectionery product and would not render the pr…

People actually do injure themselves on them, I think mainly through doing "face smashes cake" type "pranks".

Thanks for the research.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#137

Post by owlsaway » Sun, Jun 03, 2018, 7:48 PM UTC

tscs37 wrote: post #100

throwaway413 wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was with you until the “alone with a clear goal” part. What if you are left alone with an unclear goal?

Anxiety might kick in that I'm not sufficiently working towards the goal or solving the problem correctly.

...how do you know what I'm going through so well? How do I learn to cope with this? Have you figured anything out yet?

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#138

Post by tropo » Mon, Jun 04, 2018, 12:38 AM UTC

Abraham Lincoln was left in a cabin for 6 months, responsible for his sister, when he was 9 and she was 11. There were some dried berries to eat, and Abraham Lincoln could go hunt with a rifle. The house didn't have power or water.

He turned out OK. Modern social workers would have taken him. Heck, they'd literally swipe baby Jesus.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#139

Post by pbhjpbhj » Mon, Jun 04, 2018, 1:15 PM UTC

wirrbel wrote: post #93

pbhjpbhj wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd imagine most 12 yo without experience of 3 yo children wouldn't have much of a clue. Many adults, even those of grandparent age (who've had kids) seem clueless as to the abilities of pre-schoolers and hence the ability of them to get in trouble. They might be able to stop the infant from killing themselves, it depends a lot on the 3 yo. In our case the eldest is over-protective mostly, except when bored or distra…

A 12 year old with a 3 yo sibling will have 3 years of experience with that sibling and know how to care for them. Of course, if the 12 yo has not been raised to be a responsible person, there is a risk. But roughly for millenia, older siblings have cared for their younger siblings while the adults were working / busy. It is a relatively recent development that we don't trust kids anymore.

Agreed, but the parent post didn't mention 12 yos with 3yo siblings. A little experience, and learning from watching parent-infant interactions, goes along way.