Some of these ideas seem a very close cousin to the 'curiosity conversations' from Brian Grazer's 'A Curious Mind.'
The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind
131–140 of 144 posts
Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind
#132This has been a tough year over here with a lot of un-fun life events. So this morning when trying to get out for a run I was looking for this one and only long sleeve workout shirt I have. And I couldn't find it. It's trivial, I know, but I started blowing up. Emptying out drawers, rummaging through the entire closet. I can't take yet another thing not working right. Where the f*&^% is this shirt!? But I took a few…
Ah if it isn’t my friend the anecdata. Blowing a fuse over trivialities probably means you’re stressed out. I sure am. It’s just modern tech society.
Anecdotes are a problem only if someone is using them to arrive at generality/scientific explanation out of it.
In this case - the research is already done, people are just identifying with that.
Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind
#133Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think they all seem to have a pretty scientific explanation. Don't we see research on meditation pop up here almost every other week? I guess I'm pretty firmly in the atheist-materialist camp here. If you don't mind me asking, what happened to you to convince you otherwise?
Thanks for asking. Here is a grab bag in rough order of events. (Spent years 1-20 as Catholic, and years 21-39 as an atheist) * Leaving my third "failed" startup, post YC. (For the record, my awesome co-founders sold to Cisco after I had left) * Working with a coach to find and clearly define my deepest values * Leaving San Francisco to align my life with those values * Deciding to search for the meaning of life * Tr…
I mean no offense but just want to note that a lot of these are things you can and maybe should do in your twenties. Excluding buying house of course.
Traveling, meeting new and sometimes weird people, trying drugs, etc. So maybe spending your 20s heads down in the startup world isn't great for everyone.
Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind
#134Earlier quoted context omitted.
Chatting up a stranger is not 'borderline harassment'. Harassment is harassment. There's a correct way to approach someone in a non-threatening manner, and more men should take the time to learn how to respectfully strike up conversation with strangers (in both romantic and non-romantic contexts) Given the cultural norms around dating require men to initiate the conversation 95%+ of the time, there's a real risk of d…
This is what they call "Game" and it too is learnable. Being relaxed is a big part of it.
Sadly I believe this term has a misogynist undertone. I learned about talking to women like that and while it had enormous benefits, they also didn't really teach what was appropriate and had to learn them as well as un-learn a few bad habits.
Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind
#135Earlier quoted context omitted.
I've signed that part of the contract. Other people haven't, but if they're irked or just shy, stuff happens. There's no good way to be sure. Maybe we could employ some sort of thing we could all wear if we're ok with a random conversation or something?
> Maybe we could employ some sort of thing we could all wear if we're ok with a random conversation or something? It's called a smile. :)
Germany is the nation of not smiling. I still strike up conversations and 70% are receptive (and then start smiling). Smiling is not universal.
Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind
#136Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…
One of the incredible things about the time I spent living in India is that in Indian society there were far more excuses to talk to people. For example, to ask for directions (Google maps often not great), or to ask if a restaurant is any good (online reviews often sparse). As a result people are much more likely to talk to each other in regular day-to-day life, and are much more equipped to handle conversations wit…
True... Anyone who have traveled in train or bus in India would know. Personally I have some good experiences in talking to strangers.
Last day I was talking to one person who is working in marketing of medical instruments. I learned some new stuffs about that.
Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind
#137This is actually a very interesting article. And with the risk of attracting the wrath on internet haters, let me propose something that personally helped me a lot and which seems like a very narrow application of the principles described in the article: meeting romantic partners. I tend to be more open in talking to strangers and that has opened up worlds of opportunities to me. But the biggest benefit has certainly…
Chatting up a stranger is not 'borderline harassment'. Harassment is harassment. There's a correct way to approach someone in a non-threatening manner, and more men should take the time to learn how to respectfully strike up conversation with strangers (in both romantic and non-romantic contexts) Given the cultural norms around dating require men to initiate the conversation 95%+ of the time, there's a real risk of d…
> Given the cultural norms around dating require men to initiate the conversation 95%+ of the time
If that is your impression it may say more about you than the world around you. But of course I don't know where you live.
> there's a real risk of demonizing men's efforts to initiate conversation.
I doubt the species will die out. Perhaps some of those reticent women you know will have to make more of an effort!
Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind
#138Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…
> There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. I am just massively inhibited in this regard; I don't want to intrude and is it really worth it to them? Not just in line, but even before a talk (i.e. a "networking event") or at a party. I had a colleague who was the opposite: he could not only strike up a conversation…
Practice makes perfect. If you're at a networking event then everyone there is probably there to network. I think the hardest part is starting the conversation, but as soon as you start the conversation, it usually gets a lot easier.
I find it easiest to begin conversations near food or drinks because most of the time I'll pause, scout the room, and see whether I know anyone or how I have no one to talk to, and usually there will be another person doing the exact same thing. So it becomes very easy to open with one questions from the following like: Hey what do you think of the event so far? Are you excited for the event? What do you do? How do you like the food? How'd you hear about this event, etc. Pick one and see where it goes from there. You'll be able to tell whether they're interested in continuing the conversation or not, if they're not, maybe they're super hungry and they don't want to talk, or they actually need to talk to someone else. Don't take it personally but recognize social cues of when people don't want to talk to you. You can also tell when people are looking for someone or someone to talk to by how they're not talking to anyone and looking around the room. Opening a conversation with someone like that will usually be appreciated because most of the time you'll be saving them from that super awkward feeling when you know no one at a networking event.
Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind
#139I'm skeptical of a definition of luck where you can be trained to be lucky. That's not luck, that's skill. There is no skill to luck by definition. But let's take what we've got here and engage with it: >She came up with a few basic strategies for parents to teach their kids, including being open to new experiences, learning to relax, maintaining social connections, and (yes) talking to strangers. All of these techni…
Seems very similar to the classic, "Luck favors the prepared". I was at a board game conference this weekend and someone was kind of looking at my game prototype but hadn't engaged me. So I just started explaining how it worked and what was unique about it. Turns out he is also a designer and a publisher had previously asked him if he was interested in designing a game like X. He didn't have the time or interest but…
Louis Pasteur:
https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/louis_pasteur_159478
Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind
#140Earlier quoted context omitted.
The point of the story was that she wasn't actually imposing. It's just that the kid she told off was acting like he was representing the other 30 people. The rest of them were probably either indifferent or were entertained by her which is how most people are when you actually talk to them like human beings. Setting the standard that telling people about your day or telling them about yourself is "imposing" is exact…
This is why when I go out in general (I've lived in Boston, NYC and now Jakarta), I've just wore my head phones. I'm a somewhat tall-ish black guy, so people don't usually want to have a random conversation with me, and if they do (or anyone else is particularly loud about something I could care less about) I can choose to ignore or (dis)engage more easily with an acceptable excuse without becoming annoyed. > Setting…
That is a good question; I will admit that for many people, online conversations are much more meaningful and comfortable than ones "in the flesh". But what I personally like about real conversations (as opposed to virtual) is essentially that you communicate a lot of things i.e. its both verbal and non-verbal. So I think real conversations make more sense to me in only that I understand another human being a lot better than if it were just text on a screen.
Also, real conversations can lead to real friendships and such; I've found that hard to do virtually.