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Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

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Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#131
post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This view likely means that, as a man, you have some work to do to find your moral base. I know this because I've been there. You don't have to go through life objectifying all women. Seek help. Good luck.

Calling people immoral for their sexuality is a fast road to nowhere good. It seems more likely your testosterone levels have dropped.

Sexuality is not a synonym for sexism or for sexual objectification.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

fyi. There is no such thing as guys, and girls being friends. I know women think they have guy friends, but those are just guys that want to have sex with them. Consider this next time a female questions this line of thought. Would their best guy friend turn them down for sex, with the response of "I don't want to ruin our friendship", of course not.

I am a man that has a lot of friends who are women that I don't have sexual interest with. Especially true with older female friends. One of my old professors... She's pretty old and that'd just be gross and weird. I think you're limiting yourself to productive relationships with only half the world's population.

Sure, and in that case, you

A. Don't find them attractive. B. That is not your sexual orientation. C. You're already with someone much higher on your list.

My point here is, an attractive female with a lot of guy "friends", are not her friends, because she has a good personality. That's just a fact of life, no matter what anecdotes you present.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This probably works if you're an average guy looking for an average woman. In that that case, you are most likely to be compatible. It doesn't work so well if your interests, tastes, or personality are off the beaten track, however. I have a lot of unusual interests and prefer to find women who share them. So my success rate at just randomly rolling the dice and having women just randomly roll the dice in return (suc…

I'm a woman and felt similar reading that response. I'd never pay much attention to a guy if he has nothing on his profile because, as you said, the interests and such are too far off the beaten track. It definitely works for a wide range of people, but really doesn't for a certain subset. I wonder how a dating service focused on detailed profiles, later meeting, and customizable search range would do...

I think that's what OKCupid is focussed on and good at.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#134

I'm a man and in my late 20's (currently mid-30's and been with my partner for a few years now) had a great time using OKCupid. I was able to average 2-3 dates per week and received replies to ~25% of my messages. Before anyone asks, I am average appearance. I don't drive (bicycle only). Things I had going in my favor: I'm white, had a flexible job (could meet whenever) and vegan diet (probably the biggest help as ve…

As a woman, no longer in my 20s, my take on your 5 tips.

1. I sort of did the same.

2. I like to banter a bit with Tinder matches. I like to see if you can write. Writing shows personality, hopefully humor, and level of education. I tend towards wordiness, but I too had to pare back my texts otherwise I seemed wordy and overeager.

3. If I got a sense you could spell, had decent grammar, a brief exchange would be OK but I'd be hesitant to meet with somebody straight out the gate without some banter. Banter is the fun part of meeting new people.

4. Agree!

5. Thank you from all the older women on Tinder :-)

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#135
post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nah. The issue is that women generally have higher perceived self worth than men do in this regard, and so are more selective.

If you think women generally have a higher sense of self-worth than men, you should really take a look at the prevalence of anorexia, bulimia and depression in women vs men.

That's not the same thing. That's self criticism. <- I can at least speak from my own experience with those things.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm a woman and felt similar reading that response. I'd never pay much attention to a guy if he has nothing on his profile because, as you said, the interests and such are too far off the beaten track. It definitely works for a wide range of people, but really doesn't for a certain subset. I wonder how a dating service focused on detailed profiles, later meeting, and customizable search range would do...

I think that's what OKCupid is focussed on and good at.

I recall OKCupid could ban you if you didn't provide a picture.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that's what OKCupid is focussed on and good at.

I recall OKCupid could ban you if you didn't provide a picture.

Do they actually check to see if it's actually a person of you? Or could you provide, say, a picture of a fluffy bunny?

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recall OKCupid could ban you if you didn't provide a picture.

Do they actually check to see if it's actually a person of you? Or could you provide, say, a picture of a fluffy bunny?

If it's flagged, actual people will review the primary profile picture and decide whether they believe it is a picture of the account holder that meets their (quite reasonable) guidelines. Jokes, nudity, too close, too far away, obvious fakes, etc. will get your account locked.

So no, a picture of your pet rabbit will NOT work as a primary profile picture.

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#139
post #20

Didn't even realize this article was 4 years old until I started reading the comments. Dating apps are the ultimate hunting ground for individuals with borderline personality disorder. They provide an endless supply of one-night-stands and no-strings-attached sex, as well as playthings and victims when short-term and long-term relationships are desired.

[deleted]

Re: Why Online Dating Sucks for Men (2013)

#140
post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You miss that dating is not a game for some people. That's the crucial difference between it and basketball. In dating, some people are after finding someone who is compatible with them, and if you're not being yourself, you're basically misrepresenting yourself, and lessening your chances of finding someone compatible -- as they think you're someone other than who you really are, and if they think themselves compati…

You take my analogy too literally and interpreted it incorrectly. I could have used "crocheting" instead of "basketball" and the analogy would be just as strong. From your incorrect interpretation, you made wildly false conclusions about my lying to others, pretending to be someone I'm not, and generally misrepresenting myself, as if you think that's what I do on my dates. I've learned how to date women by building s…

Still doesn't make sense. You don't crochet by finding a weave that's compatible with your personality or whatever. You crochet by following correct technique and stitching.
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