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Life lessons from the death bed

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Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#121

Post by rootusrootus »

BrandoElFollito wrote: post #76
techdragon wrote: post #14

Touching stuff... It could be middle age tainting my perspective... but sometimes I feel this sort of... not visceral , but very close and undeniable ... experience with death is easier for people who are young. Death isn't real for most people at 17, no matter how much they have seen, many see the death of a grandparent, or two, or perhaps even four, before reaching 17, but most still enter their late teens, feeling…

I was thinking about death occasionally until I got my first anesthesia (around 45). I then realized what death is: a switch is flipped off and you are done. No memories, nothing. You just stop to exist. From then on I do not worry anymore and stopped wondering about death altogether.

I don't worry much about it being unpleasant, hurting, whatever -- I too have had the experience of general anesthetic. That's never been the part that bothered me about dying. It is the permanence. You get your shot, then you're done, forever. There are going to be fascinating discoveries and developments in the future that I'd like to see play out. Ah well.

But it's definitely true, worrying about death is a privilege granted only to the living.

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#122

Post by hotpotamus »

rootusrootus wrote: post #121
BrandoElFollito wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was thinking about death occasionally until I got my first anesthesia (around 45). I then realized what death is: a switch is flipped off and you are done. No memories, nothing. You just stop to exist. From then on I do not worry anymore and stopped wondering about death altogether.

I don't worry much about it being unpleasant, hurting, whatever -- I too have had the experience of general anesthetic. That's never been the part that bothered me about dying. It is the permanence . You get your shot, then you're done, forever . There are going to be fascinating discoveries and developments in the future that I'd like to see play out. Ah well. But it's definitely true, worrying about death is a priv…

> There are going to be fascinating discoveries and developments in the future that I'd like to see play out.

I used to feel this way, but looking at how things are going, particularly in regard to climate change, I no longer envy children born today for the world they will live to see. I try to be more optimistic, but that isn't exactly my nature, and events seem to be moving even faster than my pessimism would have predicted.

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#123

Post by rootusrootus »

eitally wrote: post #82
CalRobert wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just moved from a big house in the countryside on a few acres to a rowhouse in the city and I am so, so much happier here. I had a lot of suicidal ideation when I lived in the middle of nowhere. I see friendly people every day.

I can relate. I haven't ever had suicidal ideation because of this but I can tell you I am shocked at how much I enjoy living in a city (1800sqft house on an 8000sqft lot) in a real, social neighborhood compared to either our previous suburban house (4500sqft house on 1/3ac lot) or the rural house I grew up in (2000sqft on 4ac in rural outskirts of a small city). I'm sure this doesn't apply universally, but for my fa…

I can relate to that. I've lived in a dense urban environment, and out in the sticks where we couldn't see our neighbors. Right now I live in a neighborhood of 8000-10000sf lots and I know all my neighbors, but we don't share walls. It's wonderful. Very social, very fun, and enough "in the city" so that there's nothing I'm missing out on.

It helps that I live in a suburban city, so getting around is easy and fast.

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#124

Post by acuozzo »

hnfong wrote: post #74
cheschire wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I suspect this person does not write those words with the intent to drive people to fill every moment with pleasure. I suspect their intent is more along the traditional lines of encouraging readers to not put off something into the “long term goal” category that would just as easily fit in the “short term goal” category. If anything, I see it as complimentary to your thoughts because many folks will use momentary pl…

I think it's even simpler than that. A lot of the treadmills that society places upon us are just bullshit. It's packaged as "long term goals" to make it sound more plausible (you'll either forget you were conned or get used to it in some kind of Stockholm syndrome). But in those cases there's actually no trading short for long, it's just purely bullshit. Like, the high school geometry assignment for the author. It i…

> It is literally wasting her time if she didn't enjoy learning it.

I didn't enjoy several classes which were prerequisites for my career which I enjoy very much.

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#125

Post by acuozzo »

jplrssn wrote: post #36

Great read. As with everything, balance is key. But I’ve never heard of anyone on their deathbed wishing they’d spent less time with family and friends, and more time grinding away at work.

> I’ve never heard of anyone on their deathbed wishing they’d spent less time with family and friends, and more time grinding away at work

Sampling bias? Those wishing to have spent more time with family & friends likely have family & friends to posthumously share their deathbed story.

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#126

Post by RHSman2 »

Clubber wrote: post #102
sanderjd wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Right! This whole life thing is about striking a balance between "eat your cake today" and "spend your day in the field cultivating wheat to make the flour to make more cake in the future". In every moment of my life there has been some "cake" I could have "eaten" that would have been more enjoyable than all the hours I spent up in the middle of the night with screaming babies. But on my deathbed I'm certain it will…

Your children are your cake.

My children’s cake is my cake

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#127

Post by michael_leachim »

we've had nightly air raid alerts for the last two years.

Now there are less of them, but I don't know what the future will bring. I think russia is preparing their winter campaign of terror again, so we will see.

When it is 3 in the morning and you hear explosions and you are really really fcking happy that it didn't hit you.

You can also have no electricity and heat in the middle of the winter, but it sort of sortable if you go somewhere public where business have electricity generators.

At first you get used to living like this, but after some time your natural resilience start to break and it can become quite difficult to live.

So I've got a lot of time to think about life and death sort of things in this setting.

I've got to understand one really simple thing. I should live my life in such a way that when it really hits me, there be no regrets for my time in this world.

I need a bazzilion friends and experience love, I need that people think of sunshine when they remember me. Because I am love for every living thing. Everything will be the best way it could possibly be, every hard thing in life is there for a reason.

That what lead to gender transition, but that the whole another story, lol

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#128

Post by RHSman2 »

roenxi wrote: post #64
robviren wrote: post #28

I always struggle with balancing the advice given in pieces like this. The author suggested that they "eat their cake today" suggesting that putting off pleasure is a useless denial. Death could come for us at any moment, but I can't live like I'm dieing every day. There is just a mountain of nuance and self reflection between living some bohemian lifestyle where every moment must be filled with something and some st…

I don't think there is any advice as such to be taken from these sort of articles, but that is balanced by the fact that most people operate without any particular regard for the eventual certainty of death and if they reflect on it maybe they'll do something differently. Strategies and goals that make sense when rolled out to infinity do not always do so well over 100 years. Seeing what people value on their deathbe…

Does your insight now have more relevance than when you were 11? I think so as you have a better view of what it means to exist as a human. We should all take our elders view with a little bit kore attention. Whether they are right or wrong, happy or sad, etc…

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#129

Post by acuozzo »

mensetmanusman wrote: post #59
kubb wrote: post #26

I wonder what she means by entering the religious life. As somebody who was raised Catholic, I don’t believe there was ever a moment where I entered that I remember. The religion was present in my life almost since birth. There were important ceremonies like the first communion and confirmation, but those happened in childhood and adolescence.

Devout Catholic families that attend weekly mass and have daily family prayer typically discuss vocations enough that teenagers internalize the various adventures in front of them (single life, religious life, married life, etc).

Meh, I imagine there are many "devout" Catholic families like mine that go through all of the motions, but never even think of religion outside of the periodic rituals.

Re: Life lessons from the death bed

#130

Post by robviren »

cheschire wrote: post #41
robviren wrote: post #28

I always struggle with balancing the advice given in pieces like this. The author suggested that they "eat their cake today" suggesting that putting off pleasure is a useless denial. Death could come for us at any moment, but I can't live like I'm dieing every day. There is just a mountain of nuance and self reflection between living some bohemian lifestyle where every moment must be filled with something and some st…

I suspect this person does not write those words with the intent to drive people to fill every moment with pleasure. I suspect their intent is more along the traditional lines of encouraging readers to not put off something into the “long term goal” category that would just as easily fit in the “short term goal” category. If anything, I see it as complimentary to your thoughts because many folks will use momentary pl…

I am certain it was clear to the author and those with perhaps a more fine tuned ability to control themselves. I have been the person who reads things like this and used it as an excuse to extract cheap joy from bad habits. It's incredible how much wisdom one can extract from a decade of stupidity.
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