It hurts hard.
I'm taking day off tomorrow for long overdue day out with my daughter.
It's later than you think
121–130 of 147 posts
Re: It's later than you think
#122I think we need to care about our parent too. As they become old, we are just fly away from them and they will struggle in their stage as us. Damn life.
The WaitButWhy post a few years back is incredibly compelling in helping one understand how little time with your parents you may have. For example, if you see them 10 days a year, and they're 70, you might have (10/days * 15 years).... 150 total days with your parents. Link: https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html Add on: https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html
I moved away from home to study, then even farther for work. I usually see my family once every one or two years since I left during our summer gatherings. Couple of years ago I realised I will see them maybe 20 maybe 30 times if I am lucky, hopefully more.
This has been the hardest realisation of my life and I try really hard to be there for the 1-2 weeks I can see them and try to make the time we spent count.
Re: It's later than you think
#123I think we need to care about our parent too. As they become old, we are just fly away from them and they will struggle in their stage as us. Damn life.
I think those who like their parents do already. I think those who don't like their parents don't need to. It's the parents' job to be a person worth loving and caring for. It isn't the child's burden.
Thank you.
I don't spend time with my parents because they are toxic assholes who are extremely mean to me and abused me growing up. I don't need shit that in my life.
Yet society thinks I'm the asshole for not wanting to subject myself to that?
Re: It's later than you think
#124Such a heart breaking story. For me it was taking a walk around the office and seeing a private plane take off from San Carlos airport, here its engine sputter, and then watching as it fell from the sky into the "lagoon" next to a hotel. Life ends. Really slammed home how a 'normal' day could suddenly be a really bad day, or your last day. One of the unfortunate challenges of tech work is that as someone young and si…
Was it a twin airplane? I was doing flight training out of San Carlos around the time that happened and yeah, it was sobering. I haven’t flown since my daughter was born.
This one: https://m.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/NTSB-Engine-failure-in-...
Re: It's later than you think
#125Orthogonal to the main point of this post, but was anyone else struck by the part about "he had kissed multiple girls" (by age 8)? I find that fairly incomprehensible.
Re: It's later than you think
#126My deepest condolences to the family. I hope no parent goes through that experience the author and his family had.
On the other had, I met a lady at the gym counter. She looked very tired so I enquired about her. She said it was third job. She said that she was doing that just to barely put enough food on the table for her family. I think some of the benefits IT folks enjoy is not what rest of the world experiences. She too complained that she doesn’t spend enough time with her kids. Life is difficult for so many people that they to make such compromises. The rest of us who can take time off a little should put it to best use.
Re: It's later than you think
#127I took a step back in my career to work from home, and bring my kids to the kindergarten with my bike some days, and take a late lunch and eat their "dinner" with them, and it has been totally, totally worth-it. Remote work being a set-back is possibly a side-effect of how I selected my new gig, but it has suited me so well, I don't care about the (temporary) career stagnation. Beautiful story, I felt it hard.
I had the opposite path 4 years ago. After working from home (and watch my kids grow) I had an opportunity to work to help finishing a big project that would make money. It was just 3-4 month of hard work (including almost every week ends and some nights) and then back to normal hours when the project would be on track. Well, as often, months turned to a year, then a year and a half, and no real end of the "hard" par…
My experience is that "crunch time" never actually ends. It just becomes the new normal and expected over time. Its better to deliver under the maximum you are capable unfortunately. Think of it this way, is the company providing the maximum value they can to you?
Re: It's later than you think
#128Earlier quoted context omitted.
I can't imagine. I don't have kids and the horror and grief is tangible.
I can feel the panic that the author describes as he runs out of the office. I can feel it in my chest. Before kids this would have been a story to read. With them, reading this is me falling apart at my desk.
Yep. That horrible feeling from this story stuck with me for DAYS.
Re: It's later than you think
#129My deepest condolences to the family. I hope no parent goes through that experience the author and his family had. On the other had, I met a lady at the gym counter. She looked very tired so I enquired about her. She said it was third job. She said that she was doing that just to barely put enough food on the table for her family. I think some of the benefits IT folks enjoy is not what rest of the world experiences.…
I was shocked when the author of the post said he had had twins and founded his business in the same month. I just had twins a few months ago and founded my business ten years ago. I couldn't imagine doing both at the same time.
I have massive newfound respect for parents, and especially for working single mothers. I have no idea how they do what they do. I am fortunate enough to have a nanny, work from home, and it's still very challenging.
Re: It's later than you think
#130Earlier quoted context omitted.
This isn't so much about React as that the expectations for web applications have skyrocketed in the last five years. Before 2012 or so you could call yourself a front end developer with good knowledge of html and CSS and little bit of javascript. If you were working in the industry back then and you're one of those people, you've had to teach yourself to be a proper software engineer in that relatively small amount…
> It's possible that the complexity growth curve has rounded off and over the next five years things will settle down and mature (fingers crossed). I really hope so.
I suspect, right around the time this happens, a new "paradigm" will start, with new alpha frameworks and philosophies.