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Today you, tomorrow me

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Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#121

Post by mcantor »

noonespecial wrote: post #10

One of the first times I stopped to help what appeared to be a person with a flat, I got a good long (loud) lecture about how just because she was a woman, she wasn't helpless... how men should just ... if we'd all just... call the police if I don't ... Honestly, I couldn't tell by sight at 5 feet is she was male or female. To say this response caught me by surprise is an understatement. Over the long haul, this expe…

She didn't want your help. It's OK. The correct response is to quietly apologize as soon as she starts lecturing, and then immediately walk away.

Why did you feel obligated to stay for the entire lecture?

EDIT: I'm very interested to know why the downvotes are happening.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#122

Post by pschlump »

I believe that there is a universal law of compensation. You get what you give. You help somebody - then some time in the future somebody will help you. This "universal law" is what makes open source work.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#123

Post by snth »

ekanes wrote: post #119
csomar wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Who am I going to listen to, the man who taught me more than I ever could ever imagine (and is now retired and giving away his millions) or some stranger who thinks he knows better? If he is stranger and you don't know him, how did you know that your mentor is wiser then? See, you have already made two mistakes: The first, by not accepting an alternative opinion; and second, by thinking that what you know (or you got…

We can't explore all possibilities because of our limited time, so people use simple heuristics to get by. Prior experience/information always trumps no experience/information.

Prior experience/information always trumps no experience/information.

In fact, it does not. Your sample of experience may not be representative. This is complicated by various cognitive biases, including confirmation bias as mentioned downthread.

UPDATE: Let me give an example relating to the original post.

Two people, persons A and B, see a hitchhiker on the side of the road. Person A knows nothing about hitchhikers. Person B has seen several sensational news stories about rapist|murderer hitchhikers. In this case, person A will have to rely on their more general knowledge/opinion of people, and will, in my opinion, be more likely to give the hitchhiker a fair chance.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#124

Post by WingForward »

emehrkay wrote: post #105
dtf wrote: post #19

For some reason, half way through this great story I suddenly found myself contrasting it with that less great story that did the rounds last July 4: the Sun-Times' Terry Savage's "There is no free lemonade" (original article expired probably with good reason, but here's a copy I found: http://bit.ly/eqIMNe ) wherein author recounts her horror at finding a lemonade stand manned by two girls giving away their product…

Best thing about "No Free Lemonade" is that she yelled from the backseat of the car to the kids about fiscal responsibility. She was being fucking chauffeured.

I wouldn't call it"chauffeured" when it's her brother driving and her sister-in-law in the front seat.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#125

Post by olalonde »

sanj wrote: post #114
sudont wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's confirmation bias, you never hear from the people who try and fail. They go away to the gutter, a shitty sales job; silence. I'm glad it worked out for you, but it's rarely ever "just worked out" for me. So, be happy, because you're very lucky!

It is possibly confirmation bias. But it is one I embrace: it lets me continue to dream, take risks and help people out. A little self-delusion is a small price to pay for all that. And, yes, I am aware that I am very lucky.

> I am the founder of LuckyCal.

That made me smile :) That being said, I agree with your sentiment. And in the end, even if it doesn't work out, you never waste time by doing the right thing. I'd rather end up broke and do "the right thing" than to make money with a business I don't believe is making the world a better place. Moreover it seems doing the right thing is more likely to make you money which is kind of nice :)

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#126

Post by hugh3 »

malbiniak wrote: post #27
charliepark wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why would you need a translation?

Did you accomplish what you set out to do with your comment?

I'm really not sure why charliepark got all those downvotes either; I don't see anything wrong with his comment -- as far as I can see he's pointing out that the traditional formulation of the "Golden Rule" is a pretty good one.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#127

Post by hugh3 »

michael_dorfman wrote: post #41
mynameishere wrote: post #35

Whenever I see a comment with 1000s of upmods, I'm usually expecting a good story, but there was literally nothing there. Lots of people have had car trouble pal. I mean, there are probably a full million people in the world right now with car trouble. Why is his anecdote special?

Seriously, did you read the anecdote? The point isn't the car trouble. The point is that nobody stopped to help him....except the poor, Mexican family, who had all the best reasons for not wanting to stop, who refused payment for their help, and then sent him on his way with a lesson about social responsibility.

It's a bit cheesy for my tastes, though.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#128

Post by YooLi »

mcepl wrote: post #98
noonespecial wrote: post #10

One of the first times I stopped to help what appeared to be a person with a flat, I got a good long (loud) lecture about how just because she was a woman, she wasn't helpless... how men should just ... if we'd all just... call the police if I don't ... Honestly, I couldn't tell by sight at 5 feet is she was male or female. To say this response caught me by surprise is an understatement. Over the long haul, this expe…

I am European as well, and although I completely agree that American people are the best part of the American experience (INS officials being an exceptions, because they are not humans, of course), there was this one exception the first week I came first time in my life to Boston. I was rushing to the revolving door and I saw a lady obviously some kind of professional who was rushing to the same doors. I have opened…

You should have filed assault charges on the bitch. She doesn't need help from a sexist pig, yet she slaps you across the face because it's okay for a woman to slap a man.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#129

Post by iskander »

T_S_ wrote: post #94

When I was a teenager in the 70's I used to hitchhike around town whenever I got tired of waiting for the bus. Hard to imagine today. Invariably the guys (never a woman) who would pick me up had been in military service, and had to hitch a ride into town whenever they got base leave. Sympathy requires understanding, a little wealth can breed ignorance.

I still hitch hike when travelling, and a few of my friends do as well. It can be sometimes difficult to catch rides, so it's best done if you're not in a rush. The people you meet, however, are usually stellar. I got picked up by a grandmother, her daugher, and grand-daughter-- who were a fantastically sweet trio. They gave me apples when they dropped me off! Vietnam vets have also been common, as well as Mexican workers. An Indian programmer once drove me 100 miles out of his way (I think he was lonely for conversation, which I was happy to provide).

Hitch hiking has transformed my view of America/Americans and made me really enthusiastic about my country.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#130

Post by markng »

blhack wrote: post #113

If you live in IA, MN, ND etc. (I'm sure other places, but these are the places I've lived), this story won't seem very out of the ordinary. Once when I was in college, I flew to Arizona for Thanksgiving, then back to ND on a Monday to go to class. When I got back, it was one of the worst snowstorms of the year. It was horrible. The school was closed, the roads had been closed that night, snow seemed to just be mater…

This sums up why I've had so much culture shock moving from the UK to Phoenix. People don't get it when I say that selfishness is what really hurts me here, not the heat or any of the other factors.

That said, it's all of our fault. Every day, in this place, I feel myself getting a little more like everyone else here. Thanks for reminding me that I need to do better.

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