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Today you, tomorrow me

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Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#111
post #72
post #47

Funny, as I read this post I thought, "Not hacker news." Then I read all the comments (42 as of this writing) and still thought, "Not hacker news." Then I realized, "Perfect hacker news." Let me explain... I try to approach my business just as the Mexicans in the story did. Not to make money, not to change the world, not to build cool stuff (well maybe just a little), but to genuinely help people. For a business pers…

I appreciate the sentiment, but "it'll all work out in the end" seems like a warning sign of wishful (poor) thinking.

It's not so much "it'll all work out in the end" as it is "work really hard until it works out in the end."

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#112
post #72
post #47

Funny, as I read this post I thought, "Not hacker news." Then I read all the comments (42 as of this writing) and still thought, "Not hacker news." Then I realized, "Perfect hacker news." Let me explain... I try to approach my business just as the Mexicans in the story did. Not to make money, not to change the world, not to build cool stuff (well maybe just a little), but to genuinely help people. For a business pers…

I appreciate the sentiment, but "it'll all work out in the end" seems like a warning sign of wishful (poor) thinking.

Seth Godin prescribes this behavior as well, and acts on it if his eBook distributions are any evidence. Giving things away for free in a genuine way is a great way to make money if you are clever about it. There is nothing wrong with mutually-assured improvement.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#113
If you live in IA, MN, ND etc. (I'm sure other places, but these are the places I've lived), this story won't seem very out of the ordinary.

Once when I was in college, I flew to Arizona for Thanksgiving, then back to ND on a Monday to go to class. When I got back, it was one of the worst snowstorms of the year. It was horrible. The school was closed, the roads had been closed that night, snow seemed to just be materializing out of nowhere; it was the type of storm you only experience when you live in the frozen, frozen north.

Well I hadn't slept more than about an hour on the plane, and driving down a 4 lane sheet of ice with no sleep in a two wheel drive little sporty coupe when the visibility is measured in numbers of feet that are less than 100 is a nearly suicidal idea, so I pulled off to the side of the road.

I pulled up the offramp, then back about 50 feet down on-ramp so that the trucks getting on the freeway wouldn't kill me. I [very, very stupidly] left the car idling for the heater, set my phone for a 15 minute nap, and went to sleep.

Halfway through my nap, I hear BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM on the window, which did more to wake me up than the nap ever could have. It was a girl, probably 17, who had seen me stopped on the side of the road, and wanted to make sure I was okay. A high school aged girl that got out of her car in the freezing freezing cold during a horrible snowstorm to run up to some completely random car on the side of the freeway and make sure that the driver didn't need a ride.

I've lived in Phoenix for about 5 years now. This sort of thing would never, ever happen here. In fact, Phoenix has had the opportunity [on several occasions] to prove me wrong about this, and has failed every single time. One summer, our family had a boat, and we were out having fun on Lake Pleasant. At what was probably the worst possible time, which was when we were near 100s of other boats, the fuel pump gave up on us. Not only did this mean that we were going to be floating towards the other boats (and the rocks, this lake is made of all rock), it meant that we didn't have any cell service (this area of the lake is in a cliff). Our boat, obviously disabled, was floating towards the other boats. Somebody is waving the orange flag we have around to let them know we're in trouble, my sisters and I are all in the water with ski ropes trying to pull the thing to safety and...nobody is helping. People are looking at us like "What the hell are you doing get out of OUR WAY!"

Disgusting.

We eventually got the motor running (limping, really) and made it out of the cove and into the main lake-almost-when the fuel pump died again. This time, we were in a narrow passage between a couple of rock outcroppings. Maybe 50-75 meters wide. Again, orange flag us up, sisters and I are in the water trying to keep the boat from hitting the rocks and...people are flying past us in the cigarette boats giving us the finger because we're in their way.

Disgusting.

I like this, "Today you...tomorrow me". A lot. There was a time when some completely lost kids on their way to a music festival walked past my house as I was unloading some lumber from the jeep. "HEY! Do you know where Kiwanis Park is!?"

"Yeah, about 4 miles south of here."

"What, seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously, are you guys going to earth-dance?"

"Yeah."

"Well come over here and help me unload the rest of this wood and I'll give you a ride."

There was another time when somebody came up to me to ask if I knew the bus schedule...

"Why? Where are you going?"

"Oh, well...North Phoenix." (about a 40 minute drive from where we were)

"Huh, well I'll make you a deal. If you promise to do something nice for somebody tomorrow, I'll give you a ride there. Get in."

The latest trend seems to be "rejection therapy". If this helps people, good, but I hate this. Can we instead please make the next trend "Make somebody's day every day for 30 days therapy"?

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#114
post #82
post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not in my mind. Doing the right thing is a solid way to run your life. It lets you sleep better at night and build solid relationships when you're awake. And, strangely, it does work out in the end. It has for me, every time.

That's confirmation bias, you never hear from the people who try and fail. They go away to the gutter, a shitty sales job; silence. I'm glad it worked out for you, but it's rarely ever "just worked out" for me. So, be happy, because you're very lucky!

It is possibly confirmation bias. But it is one I embrace: it lets me continue to dream, take risks and help people out. A little self-delusion is a small price to pay for all that.

And, yes, I am aware that I am very lucky.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#115
Since moving to Utah, I have never waited more than 5 minutes on the side of the road for somebody to pull over and help me. It's a different world here; everybody feels it their duty to help. Very cool stuff. Thanks for the story!

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#116
That story reminded me of my life a while back. Hope you guys don't mind me sharing.

I was in a peculiar situation with regard of my H1-B (this is long time ago) visa. I was not legal to work, but I was legal to stay. I was in this situation for more than a year.

I lost everything, literally. I ran out of savings. No programming shops would take me, not even Chinese restaurants would take me.

Guess who gave me a job? I worked for this mom-and-pop car shop run by Mexican family. I changed air filters, brake pads, electronic window motors until my visa resolved itself. They paid $1 above minimum wage, they feed me lunch (their home-made salsa was delicious) and in return I maintained their Windows PC.

When my visa resolved, the dad just bought a new warehouse as part of expanding his business. It was a great year for both of us.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#117
Since moving to Utah, I have never waited more than 5 minutes on the side of the road for somebody to pull over and help me. It's a different world here; everybody feels it their duty to help. Very cool stuff. Thanks for the story!

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#118
post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm curious--did you honestly disbelieve the story, or were you just trolling?

I really don't believe it. I'm sorry, but real life doesn't play out like that. Maybe there is a grain of truth to the story but alarm bells start ringing when the tale comes straight out of a script writers workshop. Read it again! And why does this have to be a troll post? The Internet is full of this stuff, reddit in particular (see IamA). Is it so bad to be skeptical?

I don't know much about Mexican culture but in south Asia, specially the rural areas, if you give someone money for a job or favor that they don't want the Monet they will often find creative ways to give it back. In my case I found my 500 "taka" bill back in my pocket even though I remember giving it to him (forcefully) and he grudgingly took it.

I have no problem believing the authenticity of the story. Some cultures behave in certain ways (when it comes to money) that is very hard for western society to understand.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#119
post #103
post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Who am I going to listen to, the man who taught me more than I ever could ever imagine (and is now retired and giving away his millions) or some stranger who thinks he knows better? I often share thoughts like this in the OP's spirit of "pass it on" so that it may benefit someone else. Take it or leave it. But doubting it, commenting on what it "seems", or downvoting it only makes you look like a fool. [Sorry for the…

Who am I going to listen to, the man who taught me more than I ever could ever imagine (and is now retired and giving away his millions) or some stranger who thinks he knows better? If he is stranger and you don't know him, how did you know that your mentor is wiser then? See, you have already made two mistakes: The first, by not accepting an alternative opinion; and second, by thinking that what you know (or you got…

We can't explore all possibilities because of our limited time, so people use simple heuristics to get by. Prior experience/information always trumps no experience/information.

Re: Today you, tomorrow me

#120
post #55
post #3

The original Spanish expression is "Hoy por ti, mañana por mi", and I find the Golden Rule to be the closest direct application of the concept in a single expression. Interestingly, the three suggested translations of the expression I found were: "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours", "What goes around, comes around", and "Tit for tat" ( http://www.proz.com/kudoz/spanish_to_english/idioms_maxims_s... ). Howeve…

There's a similar phrase that doesn't occur in your set of translations but accurately conveys the meaning: "Pay it forward".

[Pay it forward] was rediscovered and described by Benjamin Franklin, in a letter to Benjamin Webb dated April 22, 1784:

I do not pretend to give such a Sum; I only lend it to you. When you [...] meet with another honest Man in similar Distress, you must pay me by lending this Sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the Debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus go thro' many hands, before it meets with a Knave that will stop its Progress.

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