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Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

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Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#121

Post by chippy »

meatysnapper wrote: post #31
s_baby wrote: post #24

>“For young women the problem in navigating sexuality and relationships is still gender inequality,” says Elizabeth Armstrong, a professor of sociology at the University of Michigan who specializes in sexuality and gender. “Young women complain that young men still have the power to decide when something is going to be serious and when something is not—they can go, ‘She’s girlfriend material, she’s hookup material.’…

90% of women want to sleep with 10% of men. Men are far less picky. Even the best looking of men has been a whale-rider in his time. Women: Is he rich? Good looking? Do other women want him? Men: Will she sleep with me? Once you understand that, all of the rest of this makes sense.

> 90% of women want to sleep with 10% of men.

I hope people are not confused when they see that 90% + 10% = 100%.

They are measuring different things, that phrase (and it's probably incorrect for this very reason) is misleading in that it implies there is a 100%, that it encompasses all the women and all the men. (edits - another comment in this thread gives 80% and 20% with a reference)

A possible less misleading phrase would be 90% of women do not want to sleep with 90% of men.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#122

Post by bilbo0s »

meatysnapper wrote: post #31
s_baby wrote: post #24

>“For young women the problem in navigating sexuality and relationships is still gender inequality,” says Elizabeth Armstrong, a professor of sociology at the University of Michigan who specializes in sexuality and gender. “Young women complain that young men still have the power to decide when something is going to be serious and when something is not—they can go, ‘She’s girlfriend material, she’s hookup material.’…

90% of women want to sleep with 10% of men. Men are far less picky. Even the best looking of men has been a whale-rider in his time. Women: Is he rich? Good looking? Do other women want him? Men: Will she sleep with me? Once you understand that, all of the rest of this makes sense.

"...Even the best looking of men has been a whale-rider in his time..."

Just... wow.

Do people really think like this ???

I mean... this isn't even true.

For instance, I can, pretty much, guarantee that even when he was a QB and Captain in High School and at the University of Michigan... Tom Brady was NEVER as indiscriminate as you intimate. His women were ALWAYS top 1% of those available. That's just how the world works. I know it's unfair... but that's reality.

The best looking men and the supermodels NEVER have to "settle". Now they may not be altogether "happy" in their choice of life partners... but they are DEFINITELY not out "settling".

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#123

Post by storgendibal »

hedgew wrote: post #39

It's a problem of overvaluation. Men are less selective about who they have casual sex with, so the most attractive men consistently and constantly meet up with women they'd never actually date. For the few men it works great. For most women it works well for a while, but ends in disappointment. For the vast majority of men, the deal is the worst; they are considered unsuitable because women can do better (in 10 minu…

This. Tinder has tremendously magnified the advantage of the most attractive men. These same men, in a bar or club, would not spend the effort to pick up a lot of these women - they would spend their time and energy on the most attractive women in the bar or club. But with Tinder, there's no effort, so these women have more and better options, but not for anything serious.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#124

Post by anon3_ »

Yhippa wrote: post #11
pavlov wrote: post #3

But others lament the way the extreme casualness of sex in the age of Tinder leaves many women feeling de-valued. “It’s rare for a woman of our generation to meet a man who treats her like a priority instead of an option,” wrote Erica Gordon on the Gen Y Web site Elite Daily, in 2014. If a woman doesn't want to feel like an option, shouldn't she stay far away from Tinder? It's not like there isn't a million other way…

I have been thinking about why Tinder seems like a bad deal for my lady friends. It seems that women used to hold the power in online dating but for whatever reason Tinder has turned into a site that reduces the cost (time investment and biological risk) to sleep with strangers. It seems that as that's picked up the new norm is a "race to the bottom" for women who want traditional relationships.

> It seems that as that's picked up the new norm is a "race to the bottom" for women who want traditional relationships.

This is so backwards.

Women use tinder to get attention, not relationships. Rarely sex.

Men are the one's in the race to the bottom. They get ignored by all of them. The women use it to treat men like ants.

Yet these studies and willing betas still treat women like the victims.

As men, the larger issue is this cuckold-psychology where you have to sound charitable to females, even if it takes flat out denial of situations. Women still hold the power.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#125

Post by justboxing »

pavlov wrote: post #3

But others lament the way the extreme casualness of sex in the age of Tinder leaves many women feeling de-valued. “It’s rare for a woman of our generation to meet a man who treats her like a priority instead of an option,” wrote Erica Gordon on the Gen Y Web site Elite Daily, in 2014. If a woman doesn't want to feel like an option, shouldn't she stay far away from Tinder? It's not like there isn't a million other way…

> If a woman doesn't want to feel like an option, shouldn't she stay far away from Tinder?

Yes she could, or better still, she could get Bumble, which is the female version of Tinder, where the women get to keep guys as options :) http://techcrunch.com/2014/12/02/bumble-is-exactly-like-tind...

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#126

Post by fredkbloggs »

zxcvvcxz wrote: post #66

> “For young women the problem in navigating sexuality and relationships is still gender inequality,” says Elizabeth Armstrong, a professor of sociology at the University of Michigan who specializes in sexuality and gender. “Young women complain that young men still have the power to decide when something is going to be serious and when something is not—they can go, ‘She’s girlfriend material, she’s hookup material.’…

> We had a period of time where strict monogamy throughout adulthood dominated

I strongly disbelieve this, and I think most historians would agree with me.

We had a period of time in which what was written and widely disseminated in the polite (read: legal, and likely to be preserved) media did not include references to anything other than strict monogamy. When such references were included, they were usually scandalous and offered as implied evidence for a person or fictional character later getting his or her comeuppance.

It's very easy, especially if you're raised in a religious or just plain awkward household, to latch onto that attitude with apparent reinforcement from historical sources. That doesn't mean that's how people actually lived. It does mean that's how most people wanted others to believe they lived. And there are plenty of private letters and other less public texts from history that show our ancestors to have been every bit as kinky, homosexual, and promiscuous as we collectively are today. There were prudes then, too, and plenty of them, and there were people who were happy in a genuinely monogamous marriage, just as there are today.

But what's changed is not what people are doing, nor with whom, but whether they're willing to have others know about it. And even that's still nowhere near as free as many would imagine it: this article used pseudonyms throughout.

Temporal exceptionalism is just way too lazy.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#127

Post by cpncrunch »

jen729w wrote: post #103
onewaystreet wrote: post #25

There's the old story of the guy that walks around asking every women if they want to have sex. Eventually one always says yes. On Tinder a guy can do that without getting slapped 100 times.

I went to university with that guy. I genuinely did. It was unbelievable to watch, he was so brazen. He just didn't give a damn about rejection.

Did he get laid eventually?

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#128

Post by Chinjut »

deanCommie wrote: post #115
nosuchthing wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I work at home, and if I wanted to, I could have a computer right by my bed, and I'd never have to leave it. But I use a typewriter, and afterward I mark up the pages with a pencil. Then I call up a woman named Carol out in Woodstock and say, "Are you still doing typing?" Sure she is, and her husband is trying to track bluebirds out there and not having much luck, and so we chitchat back and forth, and I say,"Okay, I…

I hate this quote. Who's mind is it trying to change? People who already enjoy random frivolous human interaction are already filling their days with it, the same way he is. And people who dread useless chores like this and feel they get more pleasure and enjoyment out of the rest of their life are certainly not going to suddenly try his way. Are there people who are optimizing their workflow while secretly pining fo…

The mind it may be trying to change is that of the people who not only optimize their own lives to avoid "farting around" but furthermore cast aspersions on others who enjoy and indulge in it.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#129

Post by seiji »

psycr wrote: post #55

Does anyone else have a feeling of total alienation from the people and behaviours described in this article? I certainly do.

Also understand: this is NYC. There are 8 million people within 20 minutes transit.

I used to have a roommate who refused to sleep alone. He'd sleep with 10-20 people per month on a rotating basis. I know other people who haven't had a date in two years. To each their own.

Re: Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”

#130

Post by bambax »

zxcvvcxz wrote: post #66

> “For young women the problem in navigating sexuality and relationships is still gender inequality,” says Elizabeth Armstrong, a professor of sociology at the University of Michigan who specializes in sexuality and gender. “Young women complain that young men still have the power to decide when something is going to be serious and when something is not—they can go, ‘She’s girlfriend material, she’s hookup material.’…

Absolutely. Monogamy advantages non-alpha males, to the disadvantage of most women. Women want to mate with the leader of the pack; if all females mate and carry the children of the one leader, all other males don't mate _at all, ever_.

Many (not all, but many) animal mammal societies work like this, and there are strong indications humans were wired to work like this too. Some human cultures still use that form of reproductive organization.

And then MALES (non-alpha ones) invented monogamy to get a piece of the action.

It's extemely ironic that women would complain about the disappearance of something that was designed to their direct detriment.

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