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The Spoon Theory (2003)

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Re: The Spoon Theory (2003)

#111

Post by notatrumper »

chromanoid wrote: post #106
notatrumper wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe for some people the consequences of lockdowns are more severe than for you. Aren't you all about feeling with people's predicaments? Also I don't agree with the (common) argument that nobody should be allowed to complain about anything, because there is always somebody who has it worse, somewhere in the world. Like with solving "first world problems" - yes, it seems frivolous to worry about getting an even bett…

> Maybe for some people the consequences of lockdowns are more severe than for you. Aren't you all about feeling with people's predicaments? Bringing up fascism to make your struggle important is never a good idea. I can feel solidarity without being reminded of really dark aspects of humanity. > Or put differently, it can not be the only purpose of life to help people who have it worse. I agree. I only talk about ac…

It's OK to worry about totalitarian control, as there are always groups and politicians working towards that goal. It's actually one of the lessons one should draw from remembering dark times.

Some people may worry more than others. I have read reports from therapists that they have clients from former communist countries who struggle with the lockdowns, because it reminds them or horrific things they experienced.

There are also a lot of people who have built up enourmous hatred and murderous thoughts because of Corona. Where I live, there are writings on the wall that "Covidiots should be burned" and stuff like that. It's not that far fetched to think about totalitarian regimes murdering people in that context.

Re: The Spoon Theory (2003)

#112

Post by 101008 »

dsr_ wrote: post #76
101008 wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sorry, is this true? Last days I spent a lot of time going crazy because our apps are consuming 90% of memory on our instances and I feel bad/scary for that.

Two questions you need to answer: 1. Is the app breaking or failing or not serving its purpose in any way? First find the problem, then look for the causes. 2. Let's say your app is using 29G of the memory in a 32GB instance. If you put it in a 64GB instance, will it use 29GB of that, 63GB of that, or does it continue to grow until it runs out of memory and restarts? The first case means you have correctly sized your…

The app is not breaking for now, but it will if we send more requests. The problem we are facing is that if we keep adding more instances (we are using Azure web app) the other instsancs also consume 80% (I thought the original memory consumption would be split equally on all instances).

So it seems it is the second case.

Re: The Spoon Theory (2003)

#113

Post by notatrumper »

chromanoid wrote: post #107
notatrumper wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What makes you assume I learned something I didn't already know? As I said, I know there are people who have it worse than me. And as I also said, and you confirmed, it makes sense if you have somebody in your circles who has such a condition. Apart from that - my question was, why do you complain, or get annoyed?

The fact that you complain about somebody who complains about somebody, who thinks it's a good idea to bring up that "everybody feels bad sometimes" in a comment section about a personal report regarding a severe illness, should have told me that you are probably unable to learn in this regard. I complain about stupid people who think it's necessary to bring up that "everybody struggles some more, some less" in a com…

I'm sure if I would tell you about the death of my dog in this thread, you would complain that I bring it up in the context of somebody with a horrible chronic disease.

I just want to understand your motivation, and the motivation of the OP. I guess I have a feeling you like to lord it over other people with the help of victims of diseases. (Similar things tend to happen when somebody dies - there are always people who then order other people around on the basis of "the deceased would want us to do x").

I never once said that the spoon women doesn't have it hard, btw. That is your interpretation. I want to know why it annoys you if people are not sufficiently sad about it. I probably live at the other end of the world, so I just wonder why it is so important to you.

Btw there is also a story about Buddha who told one of his suffering disciples to find somebody who doesn't have a hard fate, and they were unable to find somebody. I guess Buddha was a real asshole, according to you (he did exactly the thing you claim is a big no no).

Re: The Spoon Theory (2003)

#114

Post by msoucy »

My favorite variation of this involves Dungeons and Dragons' spell slots mechanic. (Full disclaimer, I didn't make the concept, and can't find the post that I read it from)

For every long rest, you get a limited number of spell slots - for example at level 5 you get 4 level 1 spell slots, 3 level 2 spell slots, and 2 level 3 spell slots. These are all the "major" spells you can cast before you need to long rest again.

Some things may be more straightforward, and only take a level 1 spell slot. But it's still possible to run out of those. Luckily, you're able to use a higher level spell slot to cast that same spell. Sometimes this makes the "spell" more effective (using a higher level spell slot for programming might relate to intentionally putting more focus on it), other times you're just burning the higher leveled slot.

Other actions/spells may take more focus/concentration/energy/effort to do, akin to using a higher leveled spell slot. Naturally you can't do as many of those without resting.

Still other actions/spells are trivial for you to do. You can do those as many times as you'd like, and you don't feel (significantly) affected by them. These are your cantrips - the simplest spells, that can still be very useful.

I like this variation of the theory not just for the gaming flavor, but also because it changes the concept slightly from "this takes more spoons than that" to differently sized spoons, which feels more in line with how I relate to the tasks that give me trouble.

Re: The Spoon Theory (2003)

#115

Post by ufo »

aszantu wrote: post #109
rozza wrote: post #59

My wife has chronic cancer* and one day when talking to the doctor at the hospice after a period of grueling treatment she talked about only having so many "spoons" in a day. The doctor liked the analogy as it was a fun way at looking at a real issue. I'm pleased I now know where it comes from! This analogy helped us both come to terms with managing her lower energy levels. * I use the term chronic cancer as she has…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tteYZfMat4 may you find a solution

These days I've grown to see the word "integrative" as a red flag for pseudosciency or pseudoscience-adjacent stuff.

https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/what-is-integrative-oncolog...

Re: The Spoon Theory (2003)

#116

Post by codingdave »

Thank you for posting this.

I've been using this analogy for years, but never actually read the origin story. It is a great analogy not only for explaining to people why you cannot always do what they can, but it also helps people who acquire new medical problems think through what change they need in their life.

Re: The Spoon Theory (2003)

#118

Post by chromanoid »

notatrumper wrote: post #111
chromanoid wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Maybe for some people the consequences of lockdowns are more severe than for you. Aren't you all about feeling with people's predicaments? Bringing up fascism to make your struggle important is never a good idea. I can feel solidarity without being reminded of really dark aspects of humanity. > Or put differently, it can not be the only purpose of life to help people who have it worse. I agree. I only talk about ac…

It's OK to worry about totalitarian control, as there are always groups and politicians working towards that goal. It's actually one of the lessons one should draw from remembering dark times. Some people may worry more than others. I have read reports from therapists that they have clients from former communist countries who struggle with the lockdowns, because it reminds them or horrific things they experienced. Th…

> It's OK to worry about totalitarian control

I agree.

> Some people may worry more than others. I have read reports from therapists that they have clients from former communist countries who struggle with the lockdowns, because it reminds them or horrific things they experienced.

Those are probably not the people who compare themselves with Sophie Scholl on protests or something like that. They know the difference.

> It's not that far fetched to think about totalitarian regimes murdering people in that context.

Really? I think this only makes sense when you have a rosy idea about how Totalitarism looks like.

Re: The Spoon Theory (2003)

#119

Post by chromanoid »

notatrumper wrote: post #113
chromanoid wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The fact that you complain about somebody who complains about somebody, who thinks it's a good idea to bring up that "everybody feels bad sometimes" in a comment section about a personal report regarding a severe illness, should have told me that you are probably unable to learn in this regard. I complain about stupid people who think it's necessary to bring up that "everybody struggles some more, some less" in a com…

I'm sure if I would tell you about the death of my dog in this thread, you would complain that I bring it up in the context of somebody with a horrible chronic disease. I just want to understand your motivation, and the motivation of the OP. I guess I have a feeling you like to lord it over other people with the help of victims of diseases. (Similar things tend to happen when somebody dies - there are always people w…

You really don't want to get it.

> I guess I have a feeling you like to lord it over other people with the help of victims of diseases. (Similar things tend to happen when somebody dies - there are always people who then order other people around on the basis of "the deceased would want us to do x").

WTF man. "TBQH I have a real dislike for the relativistic thinking that people apply to this." So lordly!

> I never once said that the spoon women doesn't have it hard, btw. That is your interpretation.

I never interpreted it that way. The author of the report probably also does not want you to feel pity for her. She just told you a story about how life is for her and she came up with a analogy to make it more understandable.

Buddha also says: “Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.”

Re: The Spoon Theory (2003)

#120

Post by code_duck »

I've certainly heard the term 'spoonies' a lot in the chronic illness community, but this is my first time seeing this article. It's interesting to see HN decided to discuss this.

I was worn down by undiagnosed celiac for years. That was finally diagnosed, but then I became mysteriously ill again for a couple years, which turned out to be type 1 diabetes (actually 1.5, LADA). People definitely don't understand what it's like living with a limiting factor like chronic pain, fatigue or organ dysfunction until they've experienced it personally or watched someone very close cope with such a thing. Besides how difficult as the physical and mental issues have been, it's also cost me many relationships, financial independence, personal development and a great deal of work opportunities.

I can easily connect with the message of the spoon holding, but I see I misunderstood the metaphor. I didn't realize spoons were like effort tokens... I thought it just meant you had to do everything all day with the inconvenience of holding a bunch of spoons.

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