So got a call, from our church leaders yesterday, saying
my husband's work email was on [redacted], oh my!
Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me
111–120 of 252 posts
Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me
#112I'm not religious, but I think the appropriate quote here is: "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."
Why would it be appropriate here when very few people hold such a view? A lot of people say they don't judge others and think judging others is wrong, but they are always limited in scope to some subset of judgments. They will often be quick to judge a thief or worse who is on the stand.
In the original story this quote comes from, the one guilty was to be stoned to death because they had committed a crime deserving the death penalty. In comparison to crimes with similar punishment today, how many would say to not judge a murderer unless you are blameless? Say it and mean it?
Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me
#113Earlier quoted context omitted.
Having lots of false information is (very) worse in many cases. People don't know it's false and will assume it is true and about you. So, for instance if this "False info Service" created an account (probably several) on AM, you'd probably be unhappy now. Or posts on some nasty 4Chan that prospective employers find. Or puts up false past address that happened to be the real address of sex offender and now your name…
To further go with this, I have a simple email I scored when gmail first opened. Basically it's a single name with no extra characters. Anyways tons of people sign up for things under that email, and that email is of course in the Ashley Madison leak. It's also part of a ton of other leaks but it's never me. Someone even has a facebook account under it that they won't let me delete. People have used it for AT&T, Veri…
Yeah, I have a firstinitialverycommonlastname@gmail.com address which is full of misdirected email. I don't use it either, though it is my default throwaway email for access walls (enter your email to read this article!) and the like. Someone opened a facebook account with it, an instagram account with it, etc.
I get cell phone bills which you can't unsubscribe from, since the auth is actually tied to the phone. I get tons of email newsletters. For a good chunk of them the unsubscribe flow doesn't actually work, so I wind up marking them as spam.
Apparently people signing up to gmail with bogus secondary recovery account emails that Google has a whole flow for "disavow this email from your account". I wind up using that flow 2-3 times a week.
The concept of email is hard I guess.
Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me
#114Anyone notice that the media is eating this up? But let me tell you the media also lent its support to this website. I was watching CNBC a few years ago and they had the CEO of Ashley Madison on and had a great time talking about their "brilliant business model", and how great the site was. No one seemed morally repulsed then. Well I was curious just from a business perspective (and curious how many people would actu…
To be completely fair, internet industry as a whole is hell bent on keeping users in, rather than letting them delete their accounts. The other day, I was trying to delete my Steam account and I couldn't find a way to do that and Valve happens to be one of the most respectable company on earth. I don't know what will change attitude of our industry. I guess lot of us are still stuck with mindset of real-world brick/m…
Let's say fair you shouldn't expect to have account removal on Steam because it's would be abused as hell: family conflicts, script kiddies, "friends" "jokes", etc.
Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me
#115What is the legal status of looking at hacked datasets like this?
Interesting discussion at /r/legaladvice: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/3hkhk7/ca_i_wa...
> Thanks for all your replies. My general understanding here is that it not explicitly illegal to download but would put me in a possibly uncomfortable legal situation should I get unlucky. I have plenty of other work to do, so I'll avoid satiating my curiosity.
Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me
#116Earlier quoted context omitted.
Having lots of false information is (very) worse in many cases. People don't know it's false and will assume it is true and about you. So, for instance if this "False info Service" created an account (probably several) on AM, you'd probably be unhappy now. Or posts on some nasty 4Chan that prospective employers find. Or puts up false past address that happened to be the real address of sex offender and now your name…
To further go with this, I have a simple email I scored when gmail first opened. Basically it's a single name with no extra characters. Anyways tons of people sign up for things under that email, and that email is of course in the Ashley Madison leak. It's also part of a ton of other leaks but it's never me. Someone even has a facebook account under it that they won't let me delete. People have used it for AT&T, Veri…
I have an gmail account with an initial and a very uncommon surname, and even I get regular updates on a lady's food deliveries.
If ever a potentially relationship-breaking revelation was plausibly deniable, it's this one.
Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me
#117Anyone notice that the media is eating this up? But let me tell you the media also lent its support to this website. I was watching CNBC a few years ago and they had the CEO of Ashley Madison on and had a great time talking about their "brilliant business model", and how great the site was. No one seemed morally repulsed then. Well I was curious just from a business perspective (and curious how many people would actu…
>How have we come to accept this kind of immoral behavior on the large scale
Cheating is legal and doesn't affect me a customer. Its crazy that an entrepreneur forum is obsessed with exposing these men and women. Not too long ago, my dad's generation were saying "A company run by a gay? I'd never do business with such a morally bankrupt pervert!" Meanwhile, my own bosses have said things like, "Hire someone who smokes pot? Well, we don't hire immoral criminals here! Now piss in this cup."
Now here we are, again. Maybe we should just stop moving the goalposts and understand that what people do privately is their own fucking business. I don't care how many affairs you've had. I just care about the value proposition. I hate how cheating makes everyone a moralist and a biblethumper, when they otherwise have secular liberal values. I hate this entitlement and culture of shame it brings out in people who should know better.
Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me
#118What I'm curious about is future changes in user behavior in response to this kind of stuff. Private data, public data and the public-private grey areas like pseudonymous posts, access restricted (FB-like) profiles and such are getting leaked all the time. Paranoia is definitely building. Awareness of how exposed people are is building. Yet, exposure is going up not down. People are posting more stuff online. I wonde…
There's also the fact that for all those hacks, a non-negligeable portion of the people think the victims "had it coming". They feel it's wrong to take lewd pictures of yourself or join a site like Ashley Madison, so those hacks are justice being served. They don't see the real underlying issue about privacy and informatic data. The day it's something more sensible like medical or financial records being leaked, I ho…
>They don't see the real underlying issue about privacy and informatic data.
And many against even these hacks feel that the victims of hacks of hidden tor services 'had it coming'. Most people think that a sufficiently immoral online action means the hacked individual 'had it coming'. The difference is in what counts as sufficiently moral, not in the underlying view of if it is possible for someone to deserve to be hacked.
Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me
#119As a poly guy I like how this incident holds a mirror up to society. So many people who lied to everyone about how they believe in mongamy.
+1. Getting on the soapbox... It's more sad than anything. Maybe some of the poly world is looking at this and thinking, "See? I told you!" and maybe feeling smug about the outing of hypocrites. What we really have here are people who for whatever reason can't, won't, or don't go down the road of consensual non-monogamy but their desires and needs don't go away so some of them cheat. I think that's wrong, not because it's immoral, but because they're engaged in lying, breaking trust, and hurting other people. The dispersal of the account information is also hurting people and providing a salacious topic for gossip when it's none of anyone's business but the people involved. It's not my or anyone else's obligation to out someone who avoided the communication, risk, and work for the consensual part of non-monogamy but I believe I should avoid that person because they are not trustworthy and show a lack of concern for other people. Exposing them publicly to prejudice and ridicule confirms the worst attitudes about sex and love.
Sorry for the throwaway, my relationship status is no secret to family, friends, and colleagues but I don't want my private life public.
Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me
#120Earlier quoted context omitted.
I know the sample Troy showed may not be representative of the whole, but I think there are a lot of users, outside of tech, that aren't aware of the breach. There is a comment somewhere -- maybe it's from the article, I can't remember -- expressing surprise that the AM home page doesn't acknowledge the breach at all. I would imagine that they are still receiving signups from folks who aren't following this story.
They are still receiving signups: https://twitter.com/matthew_d_green/status/63482830938637107...
"Internet dating consultancy"
what a world