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Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

troyhunt.com

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Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#61

In northern virginia, fairfaxunderground website, was nice enough to parse only information pertinent to this area. Now, everybody and their friends have searched through it looking for people they know. My wife actually found a good friend's dad listed twice...and he's still married. So, now all those facebook connection have this awkward knowledge and no one will tell the friend.

The problem, if there is one, is not the data breach. The problem is this voyeuristic curiosity. It never even occurred to me to look at this data. How low would my self respect have to sink before I found it a good use of my time to go strolling in a sewer?

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

EULAs are never legally binding, and especially not for someone who is 1) not currently a consenting user, and 2) invoking a right. So in the EU, if current legislation projects bear fruit, a case could probably be made for implementing this under the protection of the right to be forgotten, and there would be very little those services could do to prevent it.

EULAs are never legally binding And blanket statements are always false.

Any counter-example about this particular case?

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#64
post #51
post #11

What I'm curious about is future changes in user behavior in response to this kind of stuff. Private data, public data and the public-private grey areas like pseudonymous posts, access restricted (FB-like) profiles and such are getting leaked all the time. Paranoia is definitely building. Awareness of how exposed people are is building. Yet, exposure is going up not down. People are posting more stuff online. I wonde…

> maybe strict monogamy will soften as a norm. Polygamy is already the norm in the West, only it's serial polygamy instead of parallel one, i.e. you're supposed to dump your previous partner before picking the next one. But most people enter most relationships being very open to the idea that it won't be lifelong, and that other partners will be part of their sexual, sentimental and patrimonial future: this constitut…

‘Serial polygamy’ means a sequence of multiple simultaneous relationships. You mean serial monogamy.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

EULAs are never legally binding And blanket statements are always false.

Any counter-example about this particular case?

https://web.archive.org/web/20061124021646/http://www.justic...

He was threatened with 55 years in jail for abusing an account with the American College of Physicians after clicking accept on the EULA.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#66
post #6

Reading this made me think about the hard problem of "removing" yourself from the internet. I don't think it is possible. But I do think there might be an opportunity for a service that creates so much conflicting and false information about a person that it is not possible to know the truth about them: false addresses, phone numbers, credit histories, you name it. Just a thought.

Having lots of false information is (very) worse in many cases. People don't know it's false and will assume it is true and about you. So, for instance if this "False info Service" created an account (probably several) on AM, you'd probably be unhappy now. Or posts on some nasty 4Chan that prospective employers find. Or puts up false past address that happened to be the real address of sex offender and now your name shows up next to it on OMFGAMCGTBR.com. Or uses alias of some known criminal and a prosecutor subpoenas "False info Service" to find the real name/address of this criminal, you.

The only ways to not be embarrassed by what is online about you are. [And I understand embarrassment is not the only reason to be anonymous, but if people are honest with themselves it is 90% of the reason they care.]

1. don't give a shit / don't be embarrassed / don't live by other's standards or norms (this seems easiest to me but I'm sort of anti-social amoral and have not been giving a shit what others values as they apply to me from a young age, YMMV)

2. Don't do embarrassing things. Sort of corollary of #1 (as in the less you are embarrassed by the easier it is to not to embarrassing things.

3. Don't live in modern society. Get born some place with no electricity and kill (optionally eat) all the scientist who come to study/photograph you.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The immoral business behavior seems to be the hackers' motivation, based on what they've written. They sought out to destroy the business. I'm guessing they'll succeed in that.

I know the sample Troy showed may not be representative of the whole, but I think there are a lot of users, outside of tech, that aren't aware of the breach. There is a comment somewhere -- maybe it's from the article, I can't remember -- expressing surprise that the AM home page doesn't acknowledge the breach at all. I would imagine that they are still receiving signups from folks who aren't following this story.

You'd think they'd at least change the "Over 39,470,000 anonymous members!" bit. If nothing else, to avoid being sued for false/deceptive advertising.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#69

One thing that struck me about this is that all the messages from people worried their data are from men. Troy even states that explicitly: "very close to 100% of the emails I got were about men having accounts on the site". Why is that? Is it because men are more likely to cheat, or because men are more likely to need the help of online services to do so? I suspect both are true, but can say with confidence that the…

You don't understand what it is like to be a man then. It has nothing to do with "inequality". When it comes to sex it is woman that hold most of the cards. For a man, unless they are handsome, wealthy and well endowed (i.e. perfect) then they are at the mercy of women. Which means they have two choices, they either "beg" for it or try to "take" it. Both come in a variety of subtle and overt forms. In either case it…

I agree with you that women (and men for that matter) find confidence attractive. You don't have to be in a relationship to be confident. I would be careful of conflating the two.

From my experience, most women are not interested in holding sex as a trump card. Like you and I, they are simply looking for companionship - for someone they can count on for support and non-judgement during times of crisis, but who will also push them to become better and achieve their goals. Like you and I, most are at least partially attracted to looks, confidence, humor, power, intellect, etc.

It sounds like you're pretty bitter about something or other. I think you should make more friends that are women so that you can talk to them about the way they view relationships.

Re: Here’s what Ashley Madison members have told me

#70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The immoral business behavior seems to be the hackers' motivation, based on what they've written. They sought out to destroy the business. I'm guessing they'll succeed in that.

I know the sample Troy showed may not be representative of the whole, but I think there are a lot of users, outside of tech, that aren't aware of the breach. There is a comment somewhere -- maybe it's from the article, I can't remember -- expressing surprise that the AM home page doesn't acknowledge the breach at all. I would imagine that they are still receiving signups from folks who aren't following this story.

Those Ashley Madison users that aren't aware of the breach, or with families that are not aware are still possibly going to be targets of people will use the data to blackmail them. That is there may be a large number of AM users who will be made aware of it one way or another. If there is enough personally identifiable information in the dumps, strangers on the internet are going to use it as their personal piggy bank and send mass emails out to threaten whomever they find with black mail. They'll say "Send me $1,000 or I'll tell your spouse" and they'll keep doing it. Apparently home address and phone numbers are in the dumps for some members.
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