Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#101

Post by bastardoperator » Wed, Jan 19, 2022, 10:25 PM UTC

ok_dad wrote: post #42

> Should I tell my boss and/or team? No, they will stab you in the back, no matter how much you think they won't. > Should I take time off? How much? Yes, if possible several months or a year so you have time to get fully away from the grind. > Is there something in my working environment I should try to change? Probably reduce the volume of work you are doing or do something that you care about more. > Is there anyt…

I had an opposite experience. I went to my manager and described how I felt when I was feeling like OP early in the pandemic. I couldn't tell if it was anxiety, burnout or both.

He recommended an immediate two week vacation to clear my head and told me to plan my next vacation for two weeks 6 months out from my last vacation so that there was a constant light at the end of the tunnel. He was empathetic, and explained losing me would be costly and that he wants to avoid that. Had I not spoken up I would have ended up giving up a great job at a great company for what was mostly inside my own head.

I also went to my doctor and got anti-anxiety medication and that seemed to help. Now that I no longer had physical manifestations of my issues, and that fact that I was getting feedback that I was valued and that my health mattered, it really calmed me down.

If you have decent manager, they want to see you succeed, and they care about your well being. If they don't, bailing from the position is probably in your best interest anyways. Either way, it's an opportunity to see where you stand. Letting go will feel good in the short term, but maybe not so good long term. Doing nothing and hiding it will likely exacerbate the issue. I would say something, I at the very least deserve to be heard. What they do with the details is on them, not you.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#102

Post by dustymcp » Wed, Jan 19, 2022, 10:26 PM UTC

crawdog wrote: post #53

tinyhouse wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did you only eliminate sweets, chocolate, etc. or also bread, pasta, and all other things that break into glucose.

I have been on a similar trend lately. Trying to first focus on low gluten/no gluten and nothing with processed sugar in it. Often hard to eliminate it all but even a dramatic cut back in processed foods has made a difference on my sleep.

Cutting out processed foods and making your own food everyday makes a huge difference!

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#103

Post by nvarsj » Wed, Jan 19, 2022, 10:27 PM UTC

cassianoleal wrote: post #44

whitesilhouette wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a very good list. I'll add my to 2 cents to this. 1. Don't do any addiction. Alcohol, Psychedelics nothing. That's another spiral you won't be able to climb out from. 2. Taking some time off is the easiest way to figure out your l life. You will soon be able to realise your priorities in life. I'd say 2 months is good enough a time. But the most important thing is to not attempt doing any work stuff during th…

Psychedelics are generally not addictive [0], and if used correctly can help very much with burn out. [1][2] > They are generally considered physiologically safe and do not lead to dependence or addiction. [0] [0] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4813425/ [1] https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/how-to-cure-burnout [2] https://www.friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/post/dr-randi-raymond Edit: add references [1] an…

Self medicating is one of the best ways to become addicted. I think drugs can be useful, but it's also an easy way to escape from your issues, or can make them worse. It depends a lot on the individual and their state of mind.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#104

Post by RangerScience » Wed, Jan 19, 2022, 10:28 PM UTC

throw1234651234 wrote: post #87

RangerScience wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Learned a couple of things that really helped me around sleeping: 1. Sleep is when your brain shifts processing power from consciousness/etc to maintenance. Like defragging a disk drive. When I can't sleep, I'll just try to focus on my body with this in mind, and it kinda works like sleep, and kinda helps me get closer to sleep. 2. If you're having trouble falling asleep, gently wrap the fingers of your dominant hand…

Those are interesting tips. Tbh I have never had a problem with sleep if I follow the standard advice, in no particular order: • Exercise or walk for an hour during the day • Turn of electronics an hour before bed and do something calm, e.g. read a book (often not necessary, but if you want surefire) • Have a consistent sleep schedule - wake up at same time at least 6 days a week • Complete dark - blackout curtains o…

Yeah, I'm really bad at most of these, haha. For example, I absolutely love to be woken up by the sun (heyo, SoCal!) so blackout curtains are a non-starter for everyday use.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#105

Post by thebean11 » Wed, Jan 19, 2022, 10:32 PM UTC

tinyhouse wrote: post #38

HideousKojima wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can't comment one way or the other on Whole 30, but my wife and I have drastically reduced our sugar consumption and it's made us feel significantly better. Eliminating it entirely is a huge pain, but choosing the lower/no sugar options whenever they're available has helped us cut out probably ~90% of our sugar consumption, and even just that has had a noticeable effect on our health.

Did you only eliminate sweets, chocolate, etc. or also bread, pasta, and all other things that break into glucose.

Eliminating sweets is likely more important. Complex carbs in pasta / bread or even simple sugars in fruits are absorbed more slowly which supposedly is much better for you. I think the jury is still out on how good or bad carbs are for you. My instinct tells me they are probably completely fine if they don't make you feel bad personally.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#106

Post by genmud » Wed, Jan 19, 2022, 10:33 PM UTC

fin3sse wrote: post #83

hotgeart wrote: post #60

> Should I tell my boss and/or team? Should I tell them right away, or wait until I know what other steps I want to take? What should I expect their reactions to be? No there're not your family. You need to talk with a professional and take decision together. > Should I take time off? How much? Or should I try to work reduced hours? It's impossible to say. Everyone is different. Some need to work part time, others a…

Did I just read that you got 80% of your salary while doing absolutely nothing for a year? Congrats, but we aren't all so incredibly lucky.

Not OP, but some insurance polices for long term disability could cover major depression or other mental illness. Will depend on the policy, company, etc. and would probably not be a bad idea to consult a lawyer/doctor.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#107

Post by amelius » Wed, Jan 19, 2022, 10:34 PM UTC

tomcam wrote: post #22

amelius wrote: post #4

Start sleeping 10+ hours a day for a while.

I have horrible insomnia and would be thrilled with 4+ hours/day. Your notion that one could just sleep any amount at will is a wilder fantasy than the ones I have about Scarlett Johannson. Nothing helps: drugs, meditation, quitting caffeine, dietary changes, exercise, etc.

> Your notion that one could just sleep any amount at will

I'm sorry about your situation but I believe most people can sleep 10+ hours if they want, under the right conditions.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#108

Post by foepys » Wed, Jan 19, 2022, 10:35 PM UTC

sulam wrote: post #98

ok_dad wrote: post #42

> Should I tell my boss and/or team? No, they will stab you in the back, no matter how much you think they won't. > Should I take time off? How much? Yes, if possible several months or a year so you have time to get fully away from the grind. > Is there something in my working environment I should try to change? Probably reduce the volume of work you are doing or do something that you care about more. > Is there anyt…

> No, they will stab you in the back, no matter how much you think they won't. At the end of the day, the business has to do the right thing for the organization, even when that's not to the benefit of an individual in the organization. That said, "the end of the day" is not the beginning. Yes, some people will behave the way you describe. It can be hard to be sure you can trust another human being who you know will…

> At the end of the day, the business has to do the right thing for the organization, even when that's not to the benefit of an individual in the organization.

How dystopian.

When a colleague of mine burned out they talked to their boss and the boss assured them to take as much time as they needed. Then the boss made sure that everybody took as much load off of them as possible so they don't have to worry about projects and other things work related.

In the end my colleague was home for about 12 months, then returned to work, and is still working there, just not as many hours. No problems anywhere, everybody is happy. The boss is happy because they have an experienced employee back and the employees that their boss cares about them.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#109

Post by CobrastanJorji » Wed, Jan 19, 2022, 10:35 PM UTC

whitesilhouette wrote: post #34

orasis wrote: post #11

The bad news is it’s going to take a long time to heal. The good news is you can come back happier than you can imagine. In an ideal scenario you would quit working entirely to focus on your health, but I’m guessing this is not an option. You need to focus on the body first. The most important is sleep, but that is also difficult to address directly, so it’s best to focus on diet and exercise. You’ll likely have to d…

This is a very good list. I'll add my to 2 cents to this. 1. Don't do any addiction. Alcohol, Psychedelics nothing. That's another spiral you won't be able to climb out from. 2. Taking some time off is the easiest way to figure out your l life. You will soon be able to realise your priorities in life. I'd say 2 months is good enough a time. But the most important thing is to not attempt doing any work stuff during th…

Also, if you do end up quitting your job or otherwise finding yourself with a lot of free time, be aware that certain video games or media can count as addictions. While video games and such can absolutely be good for you and your recovery, it's surprisingly easy to find yourself suddenly logging 8+ hours per day in World of Warcraft or something, and that's not good for you for a number of reasons.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#110

Post by citizenpaul » Wed, Jan 19, 2022, 10:37 PM UTC

Part of burnout is lack of balance. Don't get too crazy "into" anything right away. You should be looking to restore balance slowly until you feel normal. This might mean not doing much of anything for quite a while (months)

If you were a senior engineer you have enough money to recover. If you don't then you are in a rough spot. If you spent it whoops sell some toys to get by. If you were not paid enough to have money for this time its important to also understand that you were used and abused and probably have PTSD not only burn out.