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Daddy isn’t coming back

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Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#101

Post by foogazi »

ellyagg wrote: post #24

Statistics also suggest that, singularly among illnesses, people with schizophrenia fare better in the developing world, where the rates of remission are higher. It's because developing countries are low-compliance societies. Humans weren't evolved to live in high-compliance societies and a lot of us don't care for it at all. Some of us get by. Others don't.

I’ve had friends tell me that they wouldn’t move to the US because everything it’s too rigid or strict, there are no ways out - think HOAs with street cameras strict

They like living in a developing country that allows more lax behavior- throw a loud party and the cops don’t care, no one will sue you either, you can get by without a credit score or just grease some palms to get stuff done

Edit: imagine no IRS, or wage garnishment for debts, no zoning, OSHA, ADA - basically the state having little power to make you comply

More flexibility as the system doesn’t form your behavior - although at the same time it can come down hard on you if it wants

Your rights won’t mean much though

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#102

Post by saghm »

pengaru wrote: post #64
saghm wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd suggest looking up fertility rates for women based on age; it' quite difficult for a woman to get pregnant that late in life, and for some women it might not be possible at all.

It's historically somewhat common for older, more established and financially secure men to pair up with young women. It does seem like a good practical/pragmatic approach to raising a family.

Women are still people who can have mental health issues; the solution of "just waiting until you're 40" isn't viable for 50% of the population.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#103

Post by csunbird »

SigmundA wrote: post #74
anonporridge wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this is a bit of the wrong analogy. There's a big difference between judging someone unworthy of life and acting to kill them, and judging that someone is not worth the energy and struggle to fight against their own drive to throw themselves off a cliff. We're not collectively strong enough to save everyone. Getting strong enough is a goal to aspire to, but the dark reality is that in our state of weakness, w…

Never heard of "put them out of their misery"? Not acting and letting them destroy themselves can be worse in many ways to them and others around them rather than "acting to kill them". This is a hard truth, I am not advocated mercy killings but doing nothing to help them can be worse in many than doing something for all involved, which is why most advocate for doing something to help even is it seem futile, sometime…

I always remember this phrase, from Harry Potter, when thinking about death:

"You are the true master of death, because the true master does not seek to run away from Death. He accepts that he must die, and understands that there are far, far worse things in the living world than dying.”

A little bit pessimistic, but lifelong suffering might be worser than dying outright.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#104

Post by tcbawo »

SapporoChris wrote: post #3

I have a black thought on this. I would be happy if someone corrected me. When something breaks, sometimes we repair it, sometimes we throw it out. The more valuable the item, the more we will spend to fix it. However even with the most valuable items, we sometimes reluctantly decide that it is broken beyond repair. Are people like this? Are some simply too broken to fix? I feel awful thinking this, but I wonder if t…

In my town was a single mother who lived with her adult son that struggled with mental issues. She probably had very little help through the years, but somehow managed. One day, her son murdered her with a knife. It's very sad, but I think we generally leave people to fend for themselves when they have dependents with mental issues. I worry about disturbed individuals that target, stalk, or kill other innocent people. Maybe some day we might have a more humane treatment for these 'unfixable' individuals. Maybe even a virtual/persistent metaverse where they can live out a satisfying life without putting others in danger.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#105

Post by agumonkey »

anonporridge wrote: post #48
micromacrofoot wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's an oft-used Lord of the Rings quote: “Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.” What is a broken person? since we're all fallible beings ourselves, who could possibly decide that someone is broken beyond repair? It doesn't matter if there's truth to it.

I think this is a bit of the wrong analogy. There's a big difference between judging someone unworthy of life and acting to kill them, and judging that someone is not worth the energy and struggle to fight against their own drive to throw themselves off a cliff. We're not collectively strong enough to save everyone. Getting strong enough is a goal to aspire to, but the dark reality is that in our state of weakness, w…

I think societies had a simple curve for this. They help, help a bit more.. but after some time they drop the ball. Most average people have no clue anyway so they are powerless about the whole thing. People who know more may be able to go further in their efforts, but even then you're never sure you can carry someone like that for long. Even though .. I dearly think that most suicidal people only need a root deep emotional connection. Way too often people respond to shared pain, real empathy, understanding, trust ..

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#106

Post by frgtpsswrdlame »

SapporoChris wrote: post #3

I have a black thought on this. I would be happy if someone corrected me. When something breaks, sometimes we repair it, sometimes we throw it out. The more valuable the item, the more we will spend to fix it. However even with the most valuable items, we sometimes reluctantly decide that it is broken beyond repair. Are people like this? Are some simply too broken to fix? I feel awful thinking this, but I wonder if t…

The man in this article was broken, what would it have cost to fix him?

We don't have the information you're assuming we do, whether the costs are monetary or otherwise there is no estimate for what it would have cost to fix the daddy in this story.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#107

Post by watwut »

AdamN wrote: post #37
valenaut wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What do you mean by high/low compliance?

Meaning it's more acceptable to not comply with cultural standards: i.e. keep standard hours, have a job, not marry/have kids, or whatever else the standards of behavior are. I'm not convinced though that developing countries are actually lower compliance but that's what the OP means.

It heavily depends on what exactly are you supposed to be compliant with. As in, developing countries tend to be less organized with all kind of rules being broken routinely. With people used to dysfunction, bad service, disorganization, bad behavior.

In a lot of ways, it is more tolerant of faults, because developed word demands perfection.

But then, when it turns bad it can be really bad. And it is not tolerant of everything, many freedoms and choices acceptable in developed word are treated with massive hostility.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#108

Post by cyberpunk »

skissane wrote: post #85
jstx1 wrote: post #9

Knowing that you're at high risk of suicide or have other serious mental health problems is also a good reason to avoid having kids. This isn't directed at the author of the article or their partner; it's how I think when I plan my own life.

I have a long history of suicidal thoughts, and I’ve even acted on them a few times when I was younger (albeit half-heartedly-if I’d been really serious about it I wouldn’t be here now.) I don’t know if that makes me “at high risk of suicide” but likely people like me are at greater risk than people who don’t have that history. And yet, having kids has actually made it easier for me to resist those thoughts. They hav…

Yep. I'm with you. I was chaos and anarchy before becoming a parent. Now if I lost mine in such an accident say, I'd immediately do it. What would be the point of waiting?

Not because they were the only thing stopping me, but because life without them, by now, is incomprehensible.

To be honest though, I think suicide is probably the best way to go unless you die instantly. I mean, say I get diagnosed with some horrible cancer or other. My son is 3, he would only remember me as some kind of horrible pale monster in a hospital if I went with the treatments.. TBH, in such a situation, I'd probably just wait until I was so sick I was unable to function, somehow attempt to say goodbye, write a ridiculous amount of letters to him and head off to the local euthanasia clinic.. I'm sure I read somewhere a majority of doctors who get cancer don't accept chemo/etc.. But I have no links to back that up.

Wow! Sunshine and rainbows.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#109

Post by agumonkey »

muuglay wrote: post #79

Suicide is a hard topic. My mom did it. I don't talk to my father. I might be autistic or have aspbergers, and I dont understand why I wake up. I'm a robot emulating a human. I have to do weed to grt any mystery of a cosmic connection because we are strange primates. I hate my job which causes a disease of more when even after excelling in a fang job making over seven figures, I feel very little joy. I just have hope…

Allocate some time to joy seeking. I think I'm a bit on the autistic spectrum... at least I struggled for a very long time with human connections, and it changes a lot about how one sees life.

The analytical part of the brain is not the only one.. that said, I'm neuroscientist, just a dude with a strange upbringing.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#110

Post by vorpalhex »

muuglay wrote: post #79

Suicide is a hard topic. My mom did it. I don't talk to my father. I might be autistic or have aspbergers, and I dont understand why I wake up. I'm a robot emulating a human. I have to do weed to grt any mystery of a cosmic connection because we are strange primates. I hate my job which causes a disease of more when even after excelling in a fang job making over seven figures, I feel very little joy. I just have hope…

Talk to a therapist, and if that therapist isn't giving you what you need then try another one. If you are shy about therapists, there are some programs that let you do therapy via text message or video call.

There are a lot of possible causes as to why you may feel a lack of joy. The good news is that the vast majority of those causes are fixable.

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