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To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
101–110 of 180 posts
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#102Earlier quoted context omitted.
I've read that Carr's business expanded to several other vices. The two I know of are alcohol abuse, and overeating. What I've read about them makes me think of the story from WWII, placing armor on areas of planes that were _not_ getting shot, instead of the areas getting shot. It is only the planes that came back to be repaired that got shot in superficial locations. Others got shot where it counted, but couldn't r…
Ya for me that book didn't resonate at all. I thought it was a piece of trash and don't understand how anyone could actually go in without some skepticism about the shit he's feeding you. I still vape, have to wear a nicotine patch at work to focus, etc, so obviously my attitude toward that book was the problem. IMO it's just a bunch of drivel but if people read it and believe it they swear it to be true. To be clear…
The super concise summary: quitting is hard MOSTLY because you think it is hard. The rest of the book is just examples of that fact. This may not be true for everyone, but it certainly turned out to be true for me. But it's not something easily conveyed through words. I suspect this book is effective only for people who are ready to quit, but needed that external trigger prompting them to do so.
Hope you quit soon. Life isn't all rosy on the other side, but it feels a hell of a lot more real.
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#103Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is such an important point. I know some people who have made great efforts such as exercising more or quitting alcohol, but for whatever reason they claim to not perceive the purported benefit of their effort. I don't know how to help them, because for me, if I need more exercise, I perceive the "benefit" (mood improvement, etc.) usually almost immediately, like 5 minutes into it. When I cut out alcohol, I perce…
Regarding exercise, I may be able to provide some insight as I've gone through this transition over the past few years. Most likely, they're looking for the wrong benefits: As a society, we tend to center our advice to overweight people around "losing weight." It's a useful long-term diagnostic, but terrible as a day-to-day guide. The maximum safe rate of weight loss is 1-2 lbs/week, but your weight can easily fluctu…
I have no doubt that the issue you describe happens, but people have also had the experience that there simply isn't any "enjoyable activity range" to begin with. This could be some abnormality in interoception, which researchers are finding is much more common than previously thought (it was previously regarded primarily as an ASD symptom, but as much as 15% of the general population might be affected depending on how abnormality is defined and assessed).
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#104About 6 years ago I read this terrific book, "The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business" [1]...
Highly recommended!
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#105Earlier quoted context omitted.
Regarding exercise, I may be able to provide some insight as I've gone through this transition over the past few years. Most likely, they're looking for the wrong benefits: As a society, we tend to center our advice to overweight people around "losing weight." It's a useful long-term diagnostic, but terrible as a day-to-day guide. The maximum safe rate of weight loss is 1-2 lbs/week, but your weight can easily fluctu…
If people want to lose weight, the worse advice you can give them is to "exercise to lose weight". Exercise has little to no effect on losing weight. You have to exercise at such a level of intensity and duration to make any meaningful difference that most people can't or won't do it. Losing weight is almost entirely about what you eat. As I said in another post, I was a part time fitness instructor for 12 years and…
I would disagree on this point.
Although I am not very experienced in exercising, from time to time I start to jog or go to the gym for a couple of months and the only reason I do this is to get into shape; losing the weight was always a part of it. After all, there is a reason why thousands and thousands of people go to the gym only to lose weight. I'm not saying that exercising is only for this and of course it brings lots of health benefits, but I cannot neglect the fact that after 3-4 months of gym I get in a perfect shape and lose 8 lbs minimum.
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#106Earlier quoted context omitted.
Well, yes and no. With me, as I started to get more active, I voluntarily pushed into those pain barriers because they weren't that bad, and made me feel amazing the next morning. Similarly, my eating habits improved primarily because eating junk makes me feel sluggish for a while, robbing later activity of its enjoyment. I sometimes still make that choice, but I usually pick activity instead. Most importantly, throu…
I had moments of deep mental resistance, anything is a damn burden. I believe lots of people feel the same and have a few very high psychological barriers.
True; I was lucky enough to be able to find a path through the maze that goes around most of my mental barriers. There’s no guarantee such a path will exist, and even if it does, it’ll be different for everyone.
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#107Earlier quoted context omitted.
I do agree with your statement, but it's the idealistic approach and sometimes not effective at all. A big problem with the dogs (as observed in humans, too) is that if they don't see a leader in you, they are going to take this position over. I've had 4 dogs in my lifetime and I've tried different approaches with all of them, because they all had different characters, but one thing I did with all of them: I was stri…
How do you define "punishment" for dog training? In the psychological sense, punishment is going to mean either denial of a positive thing (treats, toys, etc) or use of a negative thing (scolding, physical methods like spraying water or citronella, poking (dog whisperer's method) or straight up violence). To me, this is not the way to train a dog. You can still be a leader by providing their food at set times, by giv…
Well, even saying no in a particular tone of voice can be accepted as a scolding, especially if the tone is in higher notes. What is a particular tone of voice, which will not effect them in a way that scolding does? They are not human and cannot express their minds, which makes it more complicated to understand whether you crossed the line or not. I remember talking to the kid the other day and saying no to something in a very calm but firm way, she said I was scolding her and didn't understand why I would do that. I hope it does complement my point.
I didn't disagree with the fact that it is the ideal way of raising them, but sometimes being strict wouldn't hurt if the other methods don't work. And by being strict I don't mean being violent and beating them, since I am not a violent person by nature.
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#108Earlier quoted context omitted.
I had moments of deep mental resistance, anything is a damn burden. I believe lots of people feel the same and have a few very high psychological barriers.
True; I was lucky enough to be able to find a path through the maze that goes around most of my mental barriers. There’s no guarantee such a path will exist, and even if it does, it’ll be different for everyone.
IMO that's another thing you learn with time. There's no sure path.. you oughta crack through. Which is a bit paradoxical since you actually lack willpower but it's the only way.
It's like todolists.. I have thousands of them. Nothing happens. At times I just roll up my sleeves, in a very thin anger, and just go through chores and duties.
Now that I internalized that notion I'm much more willing to do things rather than procrastinate and day dream about how I would/should/could.
I'm not 100% proactive, far from that, but I know I'll be much happier if I do be (sic).
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#109Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and if you are suffering emotionally/mentally please seek professional help. ---- My anecdote: I used to frequently suffer from (undiagnosed) anxiety and depression. For about a year, I would respond to sudden anxiety by seeking comfort in various forms of isolation/depressed behavior (watch TV as a distraction, try to take a "nap", etc.). The most insidious thing about this was how it s…
I did this as well, and it does work well.
At work, when I ever found myself thinking about checking reddit, facebook, etc, I would instead step aside and do pushups. It improves my productivity.
Until I started getting criticism from others about doing push ups, it had worked well. I realized my depression/anxiety was external.
Even when I moved, one of the bizarre things I encountered were people criticizing me for doing pushups, even though I stopped doing them. It was either one of several freak chance things, or there really was/is negativity coming from external sources in my life.
Well, sorry for a bit of a personal rant, but if you need help, might as well put yourself out there a bit, I suppose.
Re: To Change Habits, Try Replacement Instead
#110Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you don’t mind me asking, how often do you feel you need to run?
I do the same, and I run 6 days a week, about 40 km total. Been doing this for 12 years, whatever the weather, cold, heat, rain, snow etc.
Not a big fan of running, prefer sports overall, but damn I enjoy running on cold weather. Cold air is so refreshing and it gives me some kind of a super-human feeling.