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The 10 commandments for happiness and success

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Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#11

Post by mathattack »

WalterGR wrote: post #10

Does anyone know of any good meta-analyses of studies about happiness / life satisfaction? Or put another way: what does actual research suggest the "commandments" for happiness are?

Almost by definition this is shaky science at best, but Daniel Gilbert seems to be one of the best.

His book on the topic is here -> http://www.amazon.com/Stumbling-Happiness-Daniel-Gilbert/dp/...

The impatient can look at his TED talk here -> http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.h...

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#12

Post by pcurve »

6d0debc071 wrote: post #9

Commandments for happiness. Hmm, okay ^_^ From my experiences, these spring up as the big ones I'd mention: 1. Learn to be happy with your own company before you seek a relationship. People who want to be your emotional crutches are generally bad for your growth in the long run, and being able to be happy on your own will help you get out if the other person becomes abusive. 2. Don't have a totally unbalanced investm…

I found your list a lot more useful and interesting. Thanks.

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#13

Post by theorique »

WalterGR wrote: post #10

Does anyone know of any good meta-analyses of studies about happiness / life satisfaction? Or put another way: what does actual research suggest the "commandments" for happiness are?

There are a lot of blog posts out there, many of which refer to peer-reviewed literature (or at least to news articles about peer reviewed literature).

This is one of the best IMO: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/09/10-things-you-need-to-know...

A lot of it aligns with what you might consider "common sense":

exercise

a sense of purpose and meaning (can be religion-based, but doesn't have to be)

meaningful work

gratitude for positive things in your life

having someone you can talk to about your problems and difficulties

regular and consistent connections with friends and family

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#14

Post by jk4930 »

WalterGR wrote: post #10

Does anyone know of any good meta-analyses of studies about happiness / life satisfaction? Or put another way: what does actual research suggest the "commandments" for happiness are?

Principia Cybernetica's entry http://pespmc1.vub.ac.be/HAPPINES.html

World Database of Happiness http://www1.eur.nl/fsw/happiness/

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#15

Post by dbecker »

jafaku wrote: post #2

> Have strong values and stick to them, no matter what. What if someone shows me evidence, a better reasoning, or anything I didn't know, that goes against one of my values? I disagree with this point.

You are interpreting the word "value" very narrowly.

For instance, one could hold a value of relying on evidence rather than preconceived notions.

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#17

Post by yawn »

eksith wrote: post #6

Great advice, but... "Don’t compare yourself to others" I've repeatedly found this to be near-impossible. It's just that no matter what standard I've set for myself, just the fact that I see someone doing better automatically makes me think I'm doing something wrong and/or I'm not good enough. That may not be the case, but that's the default thought for me and only after do I actually look into it. What's worse is th…

I don't like "Don't compare yourself to others." To me it has little meaning other than making people feel good. If you are starting at the beginning of just about anything, you occasionally need to compare yourself to the "pros" in order to grow. All things in moderation.

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#18

Post by [deleted] »

eksith wrote: post #6

Great advice, but... "Don’t compare yourself to others" I've repeatedly found this to be near-impossible. It's just that no matter what standard I've set for myself, just the fact that I see someone doing better automatically makes me think I'm doing something wrong and/or I'm not good enough. That may not be the case, but that's the default thought for me and only after do I actually look into it. What's worse is th…

[deleted]

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#19

Post by gatekeepr »

WalterGR wrote: post #10

Does anyone know of any good meta-analyses of studies about happiness / life satisfaction? Or put another way: what does actual research suggest the "commandments" for happiness are?

The book "the paradox of choice" by barry schwartz touches the subject (among others) and is an interesting and entertaining read.

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#20

Post by SmallBets »

eksith wrote: post #6

Great advice, but... "Don’t compare yourself to others" I've repeatedly found this to be near-impossible. It's just that no matter what standard I've set for myself, just the fact that I see someone doing better automatically makes me think I'm doing something wrong and/or I'm not good enough. That may not be the case, but that's the default thought for me and only after do I actually look into it. What's worse is th…

I've had similar problems and saw a talk by Heidi Halvorson that reframed it a bit: Instead of trying to stop the "compare to others" behavior, replace the behavior instead with "compare to my own past performance". I've found measuring and hacking your own improvement is a more useful feedback loop.
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