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Forget Self-Improvement

deliberatism.com

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Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#11

Post by karjaluoto »

zipdog wrote: post #7

There's a lot to be said for habit for making tasks happen that are hard to motivate. If you can spend a week consciously putting on running shoes every morning before breakfast, then it gets easier to do it on other days. Key to this is to break it down. Instead of a task being a single behemoth (run 5km), it should be a series of small steps that by themselves are easier to take (put on shoes by the bed), each lead…

I agree. Creating habits and reducing obstacles makes a huge difference. For some time, I just stopped buying bus passes, which "forced me" to walk to work.

The nice part was that I was able to listen to podcasts on my walk, and this resulted in a really nice way to start my day.

(It's a pity it got so rainy.)

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#12

Post by nessus42 »

ronnoles wrote: post #2

Let me get this straight. If you don't feel like doing something don't do it, even if it's good for you. Great. I'll start eating pizza three times a day, stop bathing, and jerk off more. I used to love HN, but this fake, new-age like philosophizing is getting pretty tired.

Great. I'll start eating pizza three times a day, stop bathing, and jerk off more

While you seem to think that the OP is so obviously false that it shouldn't be said, I think that is so obviously true that it goes without saying.

It just seems utterly obvious to me that the greatest things are achieved by people who are driven to achieve the goal. Though that drive my not be provided by love for the process. Sometimes the drive might be provided by obsession or compulsion or some other emotion.

It also seems obvious to me that you can't just will yourself into having this sort of drive. Though, for all I know, there may be techniques (e.g., hypnosis?) that might help with developing drive, it seems clear that if there are such techniques, they are not uniformly known or effective. I certainly think that trying to develop discipline is something that is essential, but you're still going to have to have some innate drive too.

Unlike you, I didn't see anything in the OP that says that you should just do anything that you love to do, all other consideration be damned. It only claimed that what you chose to do should be something that you love. As I said above, I would have thought this so obviously true as to go without saying.

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#13

Post by ISeemToBeAVerb »

I think this article makes a valid point, but manages to miss the bigger picture. It's true, you should love what you do. You should want whatever it is you're going after. BUT (and this is a big but), what you're going after isn't always going to be lovable. In fact, sometimes you'll downright hate it.

The problem with achievement in any endeavor is that people assume it should FEEL easy. They assume that their lack of enthusiasm at any given moment is an indication that something is wrong.

The writer who has writer's block is apt to tell himself he's a fraud.

The guy who's had a fight with his girlfriend might be inclined to question the relationship.

The entrepreneur who's business is on the rocks might wonder if a cubicle job is a better idea.

The beginning programmer who struggles with the concepts might wonder if he's smart enough.

In the face of obstacles, it becomes very easy to question our path. The difference between success and failure in many cases is, i think, the knowledge and wisdom to understand that anything worth doing or having is HARD. It isn't all tea and roses. Sometimes you're going to want to give up and that's ok. That's what SHOULD happen, because if what you're doing is so easy that it never challenges you, then you're likely not doing anything amazing. True motivation is seeing the end game and still having the balls to slog through the miles of crap to get there.

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#14

Post by karjaluoto »

coffeemug wrote: post #9

When I was starting my company, I had to cold-call a few dozen people to test a hypothesis. I delayed it for weeks, and when I finally forced myself to pick up the phone, I dreaded dialing every digit. Today, three years into running the company, picking up the phone to call a dozen people is peanuts. I don't like doing it, I'm not very good at it, I delegate it whenever I can, but if call I must, I'll do it, I'll be…

The argument isn't one of never doing unpleasant things. (I don't like changing the oil on my car, but I know it needs to be done.)

Instead, I suggest examining why a desire seems important, and whether it might be more of a societal (or ego-driven) thing.

Additionally, I believe that if you take the time to find out what you really enjoy, some things will sort themselves out.

I've been really good at getting off my ass and doing things, as you suggest. In spite of this willingness to act, some of those things weren't as necessary as I had once believed.

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#15

Post by karjaluoto »

ronnoles wrote: post #2

Let me get this straight. If you don't feel like doing something don't do it, even if it's good for you. Great. I'll start eating pizza three times a day, stop bathing, and jerk off more. I used to love HN, but this fake, new-age like philosophizing is getting pretty tired.

Well, at least you have a plan. My only suggestion is that you do the "pizza eating" and "jerking off" independently.

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#16

Post by karjaluoto »

sn0wBuM wrote: post #10

This is ridiculous. The only useful thing is the suggestion to find what you love. But the author says nothing about the path to finding what you love. This isn't easy for everyone. There is a reason many people go through several career changes in their lives. Here is my view on self help. Self help is about trying to cultivate the thoughts and processes for being the best version of your self. It's about actively c…

It's a new blog, with lots of room to go. I'll touch upon that point in future posts.

(Have to break these things up a little, you know?)

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#17

Post by karjaluoto »

ISeemToBeAVerb wrote: post #13

I think this article makes a valid point, but manages to miss the bigger picture. It's true, you should love what you do. You should want whatever it is you're going after. BUT (and this is a big but), what you're going after isn't always going to be lovable. In fact, sometimes you'll downright hate it. The problem with achievement in any endeavor is that people assume it should FEEL easy. They assume that their lack…

Seth Godin's book, The Dip, talks about this too.

The question isn't about whether something is difficult; it's one of whether the net gain is greater than the discomfort felt.

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#18

Post by szany »

You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

- Steve Jobs

http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#20

Post by doublerebel »

karjaluoto wrote: post #6
lincolnq wrote: post #4

Interesting viewpoint. It does seem like the people who are naturally most driven are naturally more likely to succeed, because motivation is at the root of almost everything humans do wrong on a macro scale. So there's a reason that a lot of self-help is about trying to hack motivation. Is it working? Not yet, I don't think, but it seems like we might be on the cusp of it working. I guess your observation boils down…

Precisely. There's no hack for motivation that's more effective than actually enjoying something. If you like it, you'll do it, and with time the rewards (often) increase. If what you're doing is good for you, you may introduce some positive habits. As an example, I hate going to the gym. It doesn't matter how much I should be going, I just hate it. The routine tasks, the big guys who grunt, the sweaty machines: gros…

Positive reinforcement and habit formation can make a big difference in whether or not something is viewed as enjoyable.

From the same article as the Target pregnancy prediction[1]:

Over the next four months, those participants who deliberately identified cues and rewards spent twice as much time exercising as their peers. Other studies have yielded similar results. According to another recent paper, if you want to start running in the morning, it’s essential that you choose a simple cue (like always putting on your sneakers before breakfast or leaving your running clothes next to your bed) and a clear reward (like a midday treat or even the sense of accomplishment that comes from ritually recording your miles in a log book). After a while, your brain will start anticipating that reward — craving the treat or the feeling of accomplishment — and there will be a measurable neurological impulse to lace up your jogging shoes each morning.

[1] http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/magazine/shopping-habits.h...

(Credit due to this r/fitness post: http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/ptn63/how_to_train_...

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