Forget Self-Improvement
deliberatism.com
Forget Self-Improvement
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Re: Forget Self-Improvement
#2Let me get this straight. If you don't feel like doing something don't do it, even if it's good for you.
Great. I'll start eating pizza three times a day, stop bathing, and jerk off more.
I used to love HN, but this fake, new-age like philosophizing is getting pretty tired.
Re: Forget Self-Improvement
#3Let me get this straight. If you don't feel like doing something don't do it, even if it's good for you. Great. I'll start eating pizza three times a day, stop bathing, and jerk off more. I used to love HN, but this fake, new-age like philosophizing is getting pretty tired.
If it's that difficult for you to stop eating pizza etc., then perhaps you should think twice about the author's point.
Re: Forget Self-Improvement
#4Interesting viewpoint.
It does seem like the people who are naturally most driven are naturally more likely to succeed, because motivation is at the root of almost everything humans do wrong on a macro scale.
So there's a reason that a lot of self-help is about trying to hack motivation. Is it working? Not yet, I don't think, but it seems like we might be on the cusp of it working. I guess your observation boils down to "we haven't figured out the best ways to hack motivation yet", which appears to be true.
I guess the part that seems wrong is giving up on self-help because it usually doesn't work. I would argue not to give up on self-help, but instead to figure out self-help that actually works. The benefits are huge: instead of spending your life running because you love it so much, you instead hack yourself to love starting successful businesses. Not because being successful by itself is the goal, but because doing so is the best way to actually make the world a better place.
Re: Forget Self-Improvement
#5Relevant to this discussion is pg's essay on "schlep blindness"[0]:
> The most dangerous thing about our dislike of schleps is that much of it is unconscious. Your unconscious won't even let you see ideas that involve painful schleps. That's schlep blindness.
Hone in on the schleps you typically avoid and be totally honest with yourself why you're not doing something.
Re: Forget Self-Improvement
#6Interesting viewpoint. It does seem like the people who are naturally most driven are naturally more likely to succeed, because motivation is at the root of almost everything humans do wrong on a macro scale. So there's a reason that a lot of self-help is about trying to hack motivation. Is it working? Not yet, I don't think, but it seems like we might be on the cusp of it working. I guess your observation boils down…
Precisely. There's no hack for motivation that's more effective than actually enjoying something. If you like it, you'll do it, and with time the rewards (often) increase. If what you're doing is good for you, you may introduce some positive habits.
As an example, I hate going to the gym. It doesn't matter how much I should be going, I just hate it. The routine tasks, the big guys who grunt, the sweaty machines: gross! On the other hand, a mountain bike ride is so much fun that I don't even realize I'm getting exercise. I go back for the enjoyment, but I get the benefit of a workout.
Re: Forget Self-Improvement
#7There's a lot to be said for habit for making tasks happen that are hard to motivate. If you can spend a week consciously putting on running shoes every morning before breakfast, then it gets easier to do it on other days. Key to this is to break it down. Instead of a task being a single behemoth (run 5km), it should be a series of small steps that by themselves are easier to take (put on shoes by the bed), each leading onto the other.
Re: Forget Self-Improvement
#8Let me get this straight. If you don't feel like doing something don't do it, even if it's good for you. Great. I'll start eating pizza three times a day, stop bathing, and jerk off more. I used to love HN, but this fake, new-age like philosophizing is getting pretty tired.
You don't seem to be getting the point; you do not, in fact, have it straight.
The Point: people are usually good at things because they enjoy doing them. People succeed at "careers" or other "things-that-take-a-long-time-to-succeed-at" because they see at least part of it as not-work while others see it as tedious.
Second of all, you think this is new-age? Have you seen zenhabits.net?
You come off as angry and looking for an argument. The author clearly isn't talking about every action and behavior pattern you might enjoy/not enjoy. The author isn't asserting a new paradigm of behavioral philosophy. You've apparently been here for a while, you seem to have read the entire article, and yet you don't recognize the point through the context?
Re: Forget Self-Improvement
#9When I was starting my company, I had to cold-call a few dozen people to test a hypothesis. I delayed it for weeks, and when I finally forced myself to pick up the phone, I dreaded dialing every digit.
Today, three years into running the company, picking up the phone to call a dozen people is peanuts. I don't like doing it, I'm not very good at it, I delegate it whenever I can, but if call I must, I'll do it, I'll be efficient at it, and I'll get results.
Saying "you didn't do it because you weren't meant to" is nonsense. Get your act together, stop making excuses for yourself, and do the uncomfortable thing that must be done, even if you lose sleep over it. If you do it long enough, it will seize being uncomfortable and become second nature. Shakespeare said it best through Hamlet:
Assume a virtue, if you have it not.
That monster, custom, who all sense doth eat,
Of habits devil, is angel yet in this,
That to the use of actions fair and good
He likewise gives a frock or livery,
That aptly is put on. Refrain to-night;
And that shall lend a kind of easiness
To the next abstinence: the next more easy;
For use almost can change the stamp of nature,
And master ev’n the devil or throw him out
With wondrous potency.Re: Forget Self-Improvement
#10This is ridiculous. The only useful thing is the suggestion to find what you love. But the author says nothing about the path to finding what you love. This isn't easy for everyone. There is a reason many people go through several career changes in their lives.
Here is my view on self help. Self help is about trying to cultivate the thoughts and processes for being the best version of your self. It's about actively creating your own thoughts, motivations, actions, goals, dreams, etc. There are a variety of ways for one to think about this stuff: books, conversation, workshops, or self reflection. But it is valuable stuff. Suggesting to forget all of this is horrible advice.