I'll be the first (EDIT: third) of six.
> If all that stuff works for everyone, why did we invent new stuff? Just because? Or perhaps it wasn't really as amazing as well all remember.
To better track people and push ads. It's really mostly just it. Modern web has very little to do with providing value to the end-user; any utility that's provided is mostly a side effect, and/or a vector to lure people into situations where they can be monetized.
Text browsers aren't holding the web down, they're anchoring it in the port of productivity, even as the winds of commerce desperately try to blow it onto the open seas of exploitation.