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Regrets of the Dying

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Re: Regrets of the Dying

#11

Post by exit »

shadowsun7 wrote: post #6
exit wrote: post #4

> All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. the problem i find is that your choice is between 150% (employed) or 0% (unemployable).

70 years from now you may think differently. I'm not saying that as a bad thing, or in a condescending way, merely to point out that sometimes, we truly cannot know what looking death in the face feels like. And that our thoughts on various things - all sorts of things - change when we finally do.

i'm not saying this is how things should be. i'm just pointing out that it seems no one has the option to "work less". our only options seem to be between killing ourselves working to remain "employable", or simply becoming unemployed.

Re: Regrets of the Dying

#12

Post by microtonal »

I try to keep the basic premise of Zen close to heart: 'live in the moment'. Not only in the narrow sense of being present in the moment, but also in a wider sense.

It's easy to live with sentiments such as: if I work just a bit more, I can have a nice house in fifteen years. Once I can buy a Mac Pro, I will really be productive.

The cold fact is that life can end quickly. The present moment is the only thing we have, so treasure it ;). Of course, that's not always easy...

Re: Regrets of the Dying

#13

Post by sheena »

Confusion wrote: post #10
sheena wrote: post #5

I wonder if there is a way to bring realizations born of other people's experiences home in any meaningful way. I sometimes think about what advice I'd give my 17-year-old self if I had to attend college again, but I admit that the younger me likely wouldn't have listened. It's hard to know what to value in the moment, and I find it's equally hard to absorb what others with the benefit of hindsight tell you. I'd bet…

If you've raised your 17 y/o in a way that has imbued him with the principles behind your realizations, there's no need to give him any specific advice about college. Passing on that knowledge is not about specific advice: it's about the way you raise your children; about the way you counteract what 'society' teaches them it expects and freeing them to make choices that will make them happier instead of what makes ot…

Heh, I was talking about my 17-year-old self, not my 17-year-old child (a terrifying thought). My point was more that a lot of advice has a catch-22-ish quality in that only experience makes its truth sink in, by which time it's often too late.

Re: Regrets of the Dying

#14

Post by Tichy »

exit wrote: post #4

> All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. the problem i find is that your choice is between 150% (employed) or 0% (unemployable).

Perhaps then being employed is not the solution.

Re: Regrets of the Dying

#15

Post by jules »

exit wrote: post #11
shadowsun7 wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

70 years from now you may think differently. I'm not saying that as a bad thing, or in a condescending way, merely to point out that sometimes, we truly cannot know what looking death in the face feels like. And that our thoughts on various things - all sorts of things - change when we finally do.

i'm not saying this is how things should be. i'm just pointing out that it seems no one has the option to "work less". our only options seem to be between killing ourselves working to remain "employable", or simply becoming unemployed.

This is not true at all. Many and perhaps most people I know don't work full time. My parents for example work 3-4 days a week.

Re: Regrets of the Dying

#16

Post by tomwalker »

shadowsun7 wrote: post #9
tomwalker wrote: post #8

I have met quite a few patients that were undergoing palliative care for their treatments and I heard a lot of the same. One recurring theme I found was that ministers and priests always ended up doubting or renouncing their faith. It was terribly depressing. Whenever I think back it always reminds me to spend more time with my family- they provide the best support in these sort of situations and close families alway…

One recurring theme I found was that ministers and priests always ended up doubting or renouncing their faith. It was terribly depressing. I'm curious: why?

I really don't know. They never gave a reason. Loneliness was common for those poor guys.

Re: Regrets of the Dying

#17

Post by sz »

Interesting how the answers to "what will I wish I'd have done now in 5 years?" and "what will I wish I'd have done now on my deathbed?" can be so different.

The second one is better, I think. With the first, you never stop.

Re: Regrets of the Dying

#19

Post by all »

tomwalker wrote: post #16
shadowsun7 wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One recurring theme I found was that ministers and priests always ended up doubting or renouncing their faith. It was terribly depressing. I'm curious: why?

I really don't know. They never gave a reason. Loneliness was common for those poor guys.

This is very, very true. Ministers of most all religions are among the loneliest of the lot. Because confidence is crucial to their social function and because people breed politics (i.e., backstabbing), many feel they cannot have friends in their congregations/parishes/communities/whatever. Too often they are right.

Re: Regrets of the Dying

#20

Post by all »

jules wrote: post #15
exit wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i'm not saying this is how things should be. i'm just pointing out that it seems no one has the option to "work less". our only options seem to be between killing ourselves working to remain "employable", or simply becoming unemployed.

This is not true at all. Many and perhaps most people I know don't work full time. My parents for example work 3-4 days a week.

What do they do?
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