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Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

businessinsider.com

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Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#41

Post by jey »

eli_gottlieb wrote: post #34
jey wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain. http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

Well yes. We know. That's why it's tragic, horrible, and evil when someone is in such pain that they need to commit suicide. It's a blow for Pain over Joy, and for Despair over Hope, and a life destroyed to make that blow permanent.

OK. I posted it because I didn't always know.

When I was 16, the message I received was that the rest of life would be more of the same and I should just learn to deal with it. I found some solace in the concept of a Final Protest.

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#42

Post by johnbenwoo »

throwaway9er wrote: post #32

As a founder who struggles with severe depression, one of the few bits of advice that I remember when personally in a dark place is from a physician that had met with thousands of suicidal patients. He said: "I've never had a patient who survived (suicidal thinking) and later wished that they had killed themselves." Sorry I couldn't find the quote and may be paraphrasing a bit, I share this because this personal mant…

Likewise, I read a news story (long time ago, source forgotten) that interviewed several people who had survived jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge. The reporter asked each one what thoughts went through their head after jumping before hitting the water. It wasn't relief or clarity - almost unanimously, it was "What have I done?!?" and immediate regret.

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#43

Post by coldcode »

throwaway9er wrote: post #32

As a founder who struggles with severe depression, one of the few bits of advice that I remember when personally in a dark place is from a physician that had met with thousands of suicidal patients. He said: "I've never had a patient who survived (suicidal thinking) and later wished that they had killed themselves." Sorry I couldn't find the quote and may be paraphrasing a bit, I share this because this personal mant…

I went through a period of depression as well and had such thoughts. If you don't talk with someone you wind up solving a temporary problem with a permanent "solution". Thankfully someone lit into me with both barrels to seek help and I haven't had any recurrence in the past decade.

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#44

Post by protomyth »

therobot24 wrote: post #4
myth_buster wrote: post #3

You are not your work. You are so much more. Stay strong. _________________________________________________________ Edit: Fred Wilson speaks more eloquently here: http://avc.com/2014/01/you-are-not-your-work/

Not trying to criticize here, but i've never cared for the term "stay strong" it's like telling someone who's depressed to "just be happy". I get the sentiment though, just something about the phrase that irks me i guess.

"stay strong"

People typically use the phrase when they really don't know what else to say. For the most part, its not to be mean or just tell you to be normal, its they don't know the words to say since they have never had to deal with a clinically depressed person is going through. You can rage at them, but it won't help either person.

We don't deal well with mental health in the US. There is a political legacy from both parties and their interactions, and when an event comes along that is clearly a mental health issue we blame some inconsequential symbol to fight as opposed to doing the hard work. I get the feeling living in a hashtag-protest world is not going to improve the situation for mental health issues.

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#45

Post by Cshelton »

20years wrote: post #28

"Of the 242 entrepreneurs he surveyed, 49% reported having a mental-health condition" Wow! This is high. I wish the startup community pushed the importance of balance more. Instead it sometimes feels like a race to the bottom.

I mean, the going stigma out there is, sorry Cuban, "You have to work 24/7/365, because business is a sport and there is always someone looking to kick your ass".

The problem with this is we are human. We get stressed, we get depressed, we get overly confidant and then utterly destroyed when something does not work out that you've put everything into.

The stigma of having to work 24/7/365 is just a saying. Balance of work, exercise, social interaction, relaxation, and sleep is far more important. Yes Mark Cuban said that, but what does he really do? Even when hustling very hard, he still went out to the bars with friends, still relaxed, etc. What he really meant is that when he WAS working, he was working incredibly hard.

What I'm getting at is the quotes and the movies/shows of programmers pulling 24 hours straight is not healthy. Yes it has been done, even by very successful people...Bill Gates, but how many do you not hear about? The ones who take their own lives or become depressed for very long periods of time.

Working like this is dangerous. Balance is key, we are only human.

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#46

Post by blackkettle »

johnbenwoo wrote: post #42
throwaway9er wrote: post #32

As a founder who struggles with severe depression, one of the few bits of advice that I remember when personally in a dark place is from a physician that had met with thousands of suicidal patients. He said: "I've never had a patient who survived (suicidal thinking) and later wished that they had killed themselves." Sorry I couldn't find the quote and may be paraphrasing a bit, I share this because this personal mant…

Likewise, I read a news story (long time ago, source forgotten) that interviewed several people who had survived jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge. The reporter asked each one what thoughts went through their head after jumping before hitting the water. It wasn't relief or clarity - almost unanimously, it was "What have I done?!?" and immediate regret.

This was phrased really well in the movie/article, worth looking up:

> “I instantly realized that everything in my life that I'd thought was unfixable was totally fixable — except for having just jumped."

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#47

Post by DanBC »

stephengillie wrote: post #21
Zikes wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think we need to work on removing the stigma around general therapy. I have not personally seen a therapist, but of those I know who have, they almost always talk of it being a positive experience. In some cases, they have even advocated semi-regular therapy as a general health regimen, much like you might see a dentist or doctor regularly for checkups.

Part of the stigma is the sheer number of well-meaning but unhelpful therapists. I went to several free and religious counselors when I was young, and had several worthless experiences. Most of them just wanted to hear what I had to say, and had no advice, as though hearing myself talk about my problems would solve them automatically. A few gave suggestions but not things that would realistically help (Maybe you shou…

There is a difference between "therapy" and "counselling". It's a shame that the difference isn't clear enough.

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#48

Post by rokhayakebe »

We should not jump to conclusion and say this has anything to do with her startup.

The most important sentence here is sprinted toward a shrubbery-lined.

Someone who rushes (as in running) to their death is not similar to someone who walks and jumps.

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#50

Post by stephengillie »

DanBC wrote: post #47
stephengillie wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Part of the stigma is the sheer number of well-meaning but unhelpful therapists. I went to several free and religious counselors when I was young, and had several worthless experiences. Most of them just wanted to hear what I had to say, and had no advice, as though hearing myself talk about my problems would solve them automatically. A few gave suggestions but not things that would realistically help (Maybe you shou…

There is a difference between "therapy" and "counselling". It's a shame that the difference isn't clear enough.

It's like the difference between "coding" and "programming"?
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