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Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

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Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#21
post #19
post #12

If you're depressed making the first move to reach out to talk about your situation is really fucking hard , especially if people's perception of you is that you're some sort of go-getting independent business founder who can do everything . This is a reminder that it's worthwhile dropping an email/text/phone call to someone you've not spoken to for a while - it's possible that no one has reached out to them recently…

I think we need to work on removing the stigma around general therapy. I have not personally seen a therapist, but of those I know who have, they almost always talk of it being a positive experience. In some cases, they have even advocated semi-regular therapy as a general health regimen, much like you might see a dentist or doctor regularly for checkups.

Part of the stigma is the sheer number of well-meaning but unhelpful therapists. I went to several free and religious counselors when I was young, and had several worthless experiences.

Most of them just wanted to hear what I had to say, and had no advice, as though hearing myself talk about my problems would solve them automatically. A few gave suggestions but not things that would realistically help (Maybe you should try to be more social, to deal with your depression). Some put me into group therapy with people whose problems were much worse than mine, and this gave me the sense that my problems were small and not worth their time.

Having people goto therapy sounds nice in practice. In reality there are more problems in attending therapy than it promises to resolve, so you're likely to have even more problems than you started with.

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#22

Just a friendly reminder that no matter how bad your startup is doing, or how much money you owe to who, or how much shame you feel.. life is worth a lot more than money. You can always earn more money, but you can't come back from the dead[0] [0] - Provable with current scientific tools

    Suicide is not chosen; it happens
    when pain exceeds 
    resources for coping with pain.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#23

Just a friendly reminder that no matter how bad your startup is doing, or how much money you owe to who, or how much shame you feel.. life is worth a lot more than money. You can always earn more money, but you can't come back from the dead[0] [0] - Provable with current scientific tools

This is put really well and I'm sure a lot of people will find solice in it. Thanks for posting.

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#24
post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think we need to work on removing the stigma around general therapy. I have not personally seen a therapist, but of those I know who have, they almost always talk of it being a positive experience. In some cases, they have even advocated semi-regular therapy as a general health regimen, much like you might see a dentist or doctor regularly for checkups.

Part of the stigma is the sheer number of well-meaning but unhelpful therapists. I went to several free and religious counselors when I was young, and had several worthless experiences. Most of them just wanted to hear what I had to say, and had no advice, as though hearing myself talk about my problems would solve them automatically. A few gave suggestions but not things that would realistically help (Maybe you shou…

I'm sorry you had a bad experience, I hope you were able to overcome your issues regardless.

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#25
wtf is going on? seriously, why are these startup founders killing themselves? Why is it that they can't stop and walk away when what you are doing is not making you happy? Why do you put someone who is well off enough to throw you some pocket change above your own livelihood and your life? I just don't get it.

>After she jumped, some customers continued to drink at the swanky bar

ugh.

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#27
post #12

If you're depressed making the first move to reach out to talk about your situation is really fucking hard , especially if people's perception of you is that you're some sort of go-getting independent business founder who can do everything . This is a reminder that it's worthwhile dropping an email/text/phone call to someone you've not spoken to for a while - it's possible that no one has reached out to them recently…

So true. And sadly many people have absolutely nobody to help them in these situations. Just to get an appointment with a therapist requires a lot of courage and friend to help you do that move.

And all these "self control" and "self improve" books make things even worse (since they pretty much suggest to be a robot).

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#29

Her upbringing likely was a factor as well as the stress of startup life. ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3169057/Faigy-Mayer-... ) This hits close to home, being a 30-something software developer, and having grown up in a very religious, anti-intellectual household. Very sad, and preventable.

Poor girl. The stress from her family situation coupled with startup stress finally got to her.

Re: Startup founder reportedly jumped to her death from the top of NYC rooftop bar

#30
post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed. Also, it's not even just about money, it's about success and recognition and accepting yourself, win or fail.

Suicide is also about more than just a failed startup. You don't kill yourself because your company failed; there were likely other issues such as depression that she was unable to overcome, though a struggling business doesn't help. If you're depressed, accepting yourself is hard even if you're winning.

In fact, winning can make it worse. When you're successful and depressed, the dissonance between your outward success and your inner self loathing/misery can be very painful. You think, all these great things are happening and I still can't be happy. I must really be a worthless, ungrateful piece of shit if I attain everything I ever dreamed of and that's still not enough for me. If this doesn't make me happy, that means I'll never be happy. bla bla bla depression talk.

Not that this is guaranteed, but I've experienced it and I would imagine others have too.

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