Quite a lot more here: http://weblogs.java.net/blog/2008/01/17/crystal-methodology
Asshole driven development
21–30 of 39 posts
Re: Asshole driven development
#22Don't forget Shininess Driven Development (SDD) - Driven by the need to use the newest, shiniest language/framework/library available, leading to a disastrous mishmash of inappropriate technologies and half-implemented pipe dreams.
Re: Asshole driven development
#23Great post. A few more, off the top of my head: Garbage Perpetuation Development (GPD) - You can't believe how bad the existing code base is, but you're afraid to open a can of worms, so everything you add to it is written in the same style. For the rest of your life, you can say, "It was like that when I got here." Mansion in the Quicksand Development (MQD) - The opposite of Garbage Perpetuation Development, you are…
As an aside, it's cute when Americans say "drop an F-bomb". Swearing simply isn't a big deal in the rest of the world. Go work on a trading floor at an investment bank, an "F-bomb" just just how they say hello...
I was greeted with "G'day you fuckin' long streak of pelican shit" just this morning. I'm not in the least bit offended, far from it - it's how I know my world is in order.
Re: Asshole driven development
#24Great post. A few more, off the top of my head: Garbage Perpetuation Development (GPD) - You can't believe how bad the existing code base is, but you're afraid to open a can of worms, so everything you add to it is written in the same style. For the rest of your life, you can say, "It was like that when I got here." Mansion in the Quicksand Development (MQD) - The opposite of Garbage Perpetuation Development, you are…
As an aside, it's cute when Americans say "drop an F-bomb". Swearing simply isn't a big deal in the rest of the world. Go work on a trading floor at an investment bank, an "F-bomb" just just how they say hello...
I bet you don't swear at people who cook your food or at future employers do you? If not it is kind of a big deal as it still represents disrespect and doesn't belong in context where courtesy is required. Just in normal context swearing might be acceptable (as is here in America such as talking with friends, coworkers, etc).
Re: Asshole driven development
#25Earlier quoted context omitted.
As an aside, it's cute when Americans say "drop an F-bomb". Swearing simply isn't a big deal in the rest of the world. Go work on a trading floor at an investment bank, an "F-bomb" just just how they say hello...
I bet you don't swear at people who cook your food or at future employers do you? If not it is kind of a big deal as it still represents disrespect and doesn't belong in context where courtesy is required. Just in normal context swearing might be acceptable (as is here in America such as talking with friends, coworkers, etc).
Exactly. And the UK is not "the rest of the world". They'd probably stop swearing too if they started carrying handguns.
Re: Asshole driven development
#26Earlier quoted context omitted.
I bet you don't swear at people who cook your food or at future employers do you? If not it is kind of a big deal as it still represents disrespect and doesn't belong in context where courtesy is required. Just in normal context swearing might be acceptable (as is here in America such as talking with friends, coworkers, etc).
Exactly. And the UK is not "the rest of the world". They'd probably stop swearing too if they started carrying handguns.
I'm in Australia & if this isn't "the rest of the world" I don't know what is. I have a client that swears on his answering machine and he sells b2b.
Re: Asshole driven development
#27Great post. A few more, off the top of my head: Garbage Perpetuation Development (GPD) - You can't believe how bad the existing code base is, but you're afraid to open a can of worms, so everything you add to it is written in the same style. For the rest of your life, you can say, "It was like that when I got here." Mansion in the Quicksand Development (MQD) - The opposite of Garbage Perpetuation Development, you are…
An interesting meta-pattern appeared in my thoughts when I combined GPD, DFD, WAD, IAD, CYAE, and DBD. It's acronym is FDD, which stands for Fear Driven Development. A few other patterns may make appearances, depending on the organization, but the practical upshot is something a former manager of mine kept on about regarding working at large, asshole driven organizations: focus only on requirements. Do precisely what…
Interestingly there is a similar concept called "work to rule" used by organized labor in order to purposely slow production down.
Re: Asshole driven development
#28Nobody's pointed out the most obvious one: Fireman Development (FD) - You are constantly in crisis mode and thus are only motivated to do something when someone sends you an email containing the words "CRITICAL". And yes, it has to be in all caps.
Hmm I wonder if there is a "Backdraft Development" that occurs where someone purposely starts a fire so they can then come in and save the day.
Re: Asshole driven development
#29Great post. A few more, off the top of my head: Garbage Perpetuation Development (GPD) - You can't believe how bad the existing code base is, but you're afraid to open a can of worms, so everything you add to it is written in the same style. For the rest of your life, you can say, "It was like that when I got here." Mansion in the Quicksand Development (MQD) - The opposite of Garbage Perpetuation Development, you are…
Ita erat quando hic adveni.
— How to say "It was that way when I got here." without sounding whiny.
(Ref: Garbage Perpetuation Development)
Re: Asshole driven development
#30Nobody's pointed out the most obvious one: Fireman Development (FD) - You are constantly in crisis mode and thus are only motivated to do something when someone sends you an email containing the words "CRITICAL". And yes, it has to be in all caps.
FD also has an effect on other projects. We just released not one, but two new device platforms for our software. There are other, interesting projects on the docket, but it's rare to get more than one day of interrupted work on them before getting another "ZOMG it's broken!" emails about the other projects.