Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

roadsandkingdoms.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

11–20 of 174 posts

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#11

Post by icebraining »

no1youknowz wrote: post #5
abawany wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I genuinely want to know: why is that frightening? I have thought through this a few times and I did not come to this conclusion at all.

I don't understand it either. Why is it frightening? I also didn't quite understand the family comment either. Whose family are you talking about? When you are born, you have your mom (and possibly Dad) around you. But as you grow older, Mom and Dad will pass away and you'll thus be alone. Unless you have kids, you'll die alone. Even if you do have kids, life happens. I know plenty of people who don't talk to their k…

I think some people have this fantasy, that they are on their death bed and there is 3 generations weeping around them. Sorry, but is this even true any more?

Well, at least here in my Southern European country, it sure is. While there are many more elderly people dying alone than a couple of decades ago, I'd say most people I know still keep in close contact with their parents and grandparents, and they spend their last days (usually in the hospital) with them.

In fact, that's one thing I always found disconcerting in online conversations with US Americans - the willingness to just move hundreds of miles from their parents and grandparents. I've never considered myself a family-oriented person -I've always disliked family reunions and the "you have to go visit your great-uncle"- but the idea of leaving now, when my grandmothers probably just have a few more years to live, just sounds so ungrateful and selfish :|

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#12

Post by iamdave »

ams6110 wrote: post #6
littletimmy wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Primarily because it is the mark of a life not well lived. Having family, friends etc are essential to a good life for most people.

Who are any of us to judge what a life well lived is to anyone else?

Somehow I don't think that's what anyone is doing here.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#13

Post by kentt »

icebraining wrote: post #11
no1youknowz wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't understand it either. Why is it frightening? I also didn't quite understand the family comment either. Whose family are you talking about? When you are born, you have your mom (and possibly Dad) around you. But as you grow older, Mom and Dad will pass away and you'll thus be alone. Unless you have kids, you'll die alone. Even if you do have kids, life happens. I know plenty of people who don't talk to their k…

I think some people have this fantasy, that they are on their death bed and there is 3 generations weeping around them. Sorry, but is this even true any more? Well, at least here in my Southern European country, it sure is. While there are many more elderly people dying alone than a couple of decades ago, I'd say most people I know still keep in close contact with their parents and grandparents, and they spend their…

True where I live as well (Canadian city of ~150,000). I would say the majority of my friends were at their grandparents death bed and would assume the same for their grandchildren.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#14

Post by kentt »

civilian wrote: post #9

> His epiphany came when his current partner told him how she had lost her grandmother. Unlike Koremura’s loss, her grandmother had died alone—a kodokushi. It was seeing the deep regret in her, and accepting his own ennui, that made Koremura finally take action. He left his job as a stockbroker and set up his own removal company dedicated to the cleanup of kodokushi victims. He wanted to give something back to the ge…

I think this is very cultural. It's about honouring them in their death.

Though I understand, that does sound off to my western mind.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#15

Post by sliverstorm »

civilian wrote: post #9

> His epiphany came when his current partner told him how she had lost her grandmother. Unlike Koremura’s loss, her grandmother had died alone—a kodokushi. It was seeing the deep regret in her, and accepting his own ennui, that made Koremura finally take action. He left his job as a stockbroker and set up his own removal company dedicated to the cleanup of kodokushi victims. He wanted to give something back to the ge…

Both are needed.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#16

Post by FrankenPC »

In my mind I see this as a social health crisis. The elderly provide an unbelievable amount of wisdom to the next generation. By abandoning them, we abandon our children's future. I think of the elderly as an essential vitamin for children. They impart valuable social memes and at the same time tell the children, by there mere existence in their lives, that we value our family and when the children's time comes to age and pass away, they can expect to be valued as well.

In other words, by abandoning our elderly, we're sending a clear message to our children that human life has no inherent value if you can't produce. No wonder children in industrialized nations can't seem to feel a sense of belonging.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#17

Post by [deleted] »

civilian wrote: post #9

> His epiphany came when his current partner told him how she had lost her grandmother. Unlike Koremura’s loss, her grandmother had died alone—a kodokushi. It was seeing the deep regret in her, and accepting his own ennui, that made Koremura finally take action. He left his job as a stockbroker and set up his own removal company dedicated to the cleanup of kodokushi victims. He wanted to give something back to the ge…

[deleted]

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#18

Post by vishaldpatel »

FrankenPC wrote: post #16

In my mind I see this as a social health crisis. The elderly provide an unbelievable amount of wisdom to the next generation. By abandoning them, we abandon our children's future. I think of the elderly as an essential vitamin for children. They impart valuable social memes and at the same time tell the children, by there mere existence in their lives, that we value our family and when the children's time comes to ag…

Couldn't agree more.

"How do you know where you're going if you don't know where you've come from?"

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#19

Post by coldtea »

ams6110 wrote: post #6
littletimmy wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Primarily because it is the mark of a life not well lived. Having family, friends etc are essential to a good life for most people.

Who are any of us to judge what a life well lived is to anyone else?

Society. The very notion of "well" etc (and most things we believe to be "good" or "ethical") comes from shared culture, else it's totally arbitrary personal preference.

It's not about "logical objective reasoning" either. Treating people bad for example. Nothing "logical" about it being more wrong that treating them nice (especially if it benefits you to do so). But the culture we co-created and live in makes it wrong (and that's a good thing).

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#20

Post by Spooky23 »

FrankenPC wrote: post #16

In my mind I see this as a social health crisis. The elderly provide an unbelievable amount of wisdom to the next generation. By abandoning them, we abandon our children's future. I think of the elderly as an essential vitamin for children. They impart valuable social memes and at the same time tell the children, by there mere existence in their lives, that we value our family and when the children's time comes to ag…

Society is bizarre in innumerable ways. The number of people who I know that have contempt for children or people having children is repugnant to me. I think the disdain for the young and old is a sign of decadence.
Post reply on HN